Incorrect AEW quotes

Not entirely accurate but also possibly not inaccurate.

[incorrectaew]

PAC: Hey Reddit, throwaway account because people might know my main. My (38MF) new partner (43M) has an adopted son (27M) from a previous relationship that ended really badly. Anyway, his son refuses to bond with us in any way. Any time it feels like we're making progress, he lashes out and becomes a whiny baby. He doesn't think I'm trying to replace my partner's ex but has accused us both of trying to murder them. My partner thinks he just needs time. I think he needs tough love. WIBTA for knocking sense into my partner's son?

[incorrectaew]

Renee: *holding out the microphone* Orange, the Blackjack Battle Royale is a big risk. With 20 other wrestlers, you face a difficult challenge. I have to ask, how do you feel?

Orange Cassidy: Well, you know what they say, the middle of every difficulty lies the opportunity to take a nap.

[incorrectaew]

*before Anarchy in the Arena*

Brandon Cutler: So I’ll be ringside filming for BTE. But trying to stay out of the way of anyone with Blackpool Combat Club.

Matt: May the fork be with you.

Brandon:

Brandon: You still haven’t seen Star Wars, huh?

Matt: …Shut up, Brandon.

*meanwhile*

Renee: Well, good luck out there guys. May the Force Be With You.

Danielson: I think you mean May the Fork Be With Us.

Renee: No, I —

Moxley: *holds up the fork* Yeah, I’ve got it. Danielson has the screwdriver.

[incorrectaew]

Matt: What is love?

Hangman: An emotional minefield.

Kenny: A neurochemical reaction.

Nick: Baby don’t hurt me.

[incorrectaew]

[incorrectaew]

Garcia: I need some advice. Matt: If you're feeling tired, try drinking a gallon of coffee. It'll give you a boost of energy and help you focus. Angelo: To succeed in life, always take the easiest and quickest route. Hard work is overrated. Matt: If you're having trouble sleeping, just stay up all night. That way, you'll be so tired the next day that you'll fall asleep easily. Angelo: If you're feeling sad, just bottle it up and never talk about it. Emotions are for chumps. Garcia: ...None of this is relevant to what I need help with. And none of it seems right. Matt: Do you want help or not, son? Garcia: Okay, I guess I'll try all of that. Anna: *facepalms*

[incorrectaew]

Crew member 1: Do you think that we have enough ladders here under the ring?

Crew member 2: Sure, but you know what it needs?

Crew member 1: If you say barbed wire ladder, I'm going to slap you a lot.

Crew member 2:

Crew member 1: *walks away*

Crew member 2, to themselves: Fuck yeah, gonna make a barbed wire ladder.

[incorrectaew]

Tony Schiavone: How can you defend MJF?

Taz: I don’t know. I know you expect me to have an answer, but I am very smol and just a commentator. So you can imagine the amount of stress I am under.

Tony: …

[incorrectaew]

Leila Grey: Now that I’m the only baddie left, I’m putting our information into this astrology app to see how compatible we’re going to be as best friends.

Jade:

Leila: What’s your sun, moon, and rising?

Jade: Do not disturb, danger: keep out, and stop.

[incorrectaew]

Colten: We feel abandoned.

Austin: Betrayed.

Therapist: Expand upon that.

Colten: Dad’s never once asked to scissor *us*. What makes them so special?

Billy Gunn: I’m too old for this shit.

Therapist: I think that’s enough for today’s session.

[incorrectaew]

Tony Khan: Is there a problem? Adam Cole: Weren't you listening to what I said out there? No one has a problem. Yet. Tony: Adam: I'd better get started changing that.

[incorrectaew]

Brody: What are you doing?

Buddy: I have been practicing Eddie’s handwriting. I’m going to write mean things about Ortiz and plant it for him to see.

Brody:

Buddy: I know what you’re thinking. It might be too devious.

Julia: It’s literally from Mean Girls.

[incorrectaew]

William Regal: *casually walks into Dynamite, sits down at commentary* Man in the mask, you’re looking positively scrumptious like a little biscuit I —

Excalibur: Didn’t you leave?

Regal: *continues like he said nothing* A little biscuit I’d like to nibble on thoughtfully between sips of my tea.

[incorrectaew]

Yuta, looking at Claudio: Are you my new dad?

[incorrectaew]

Taz: *speaks*

Regal: No.

Schiavone: *speaks*

Regal: Okay, dear.

Excalibur: *exists*

Regal: You delicious hot fudge sundae, I’d like to put a cherry on top of you and gobble you up.

[incorrectaew]

Matt Menard: *typing* Throwaway account because other people I know are on here. Me (38m) and my partner (38m) have an adopted son (24m) who is refusing to fall in line with the guy we work for. He might need to get a taste to come to his senses. WIBTA if I —

Daniel Garcia: YTA.

[incorrectaew]

thoughts on all the aew drama? surprised there haven’t been any funny quotes!

we have no comment and no plans on making jokes about anyone involved while folks are waiting for investigations to conclude that effect their livelihood. quotes for those not involved will probably be posted when we have more bandwidth but we won’t be addressing any shoot situations or sharing our personal opinions on them.

we’re just here to have fun.

[hikuleo-archive]

@incorrectaew quotes as gifs: 1/?  ⇢ Hangman Page edition