Ten: I’ve been meaning to ask you something.
March: Go on.
March: Only if I concentrate very hard.
Ten: Can you read my mi-
Ten: What the fuck?
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@incorrectalice
Ten: I’ve been meaning to ask you something.
March: Go on.
March: Only if I concentrate very hard.
Ten: Can you read my mi-
Ten: What the fuck?
hey are you okay? it's only because i havent seen you in a while
Hey! I’m okay, I’ve just gone back to work and I work, like, 50 hour weeks at the moment, so I haven’t had a lot of time to be around and unfortunately other projects have taken priority over this blog.
Hatter: I have a plan.
Alice: Is it a good plan?
Hatter: ...
Alice: ...
Hatter: I have a plan.
Alice: Yep, we’re dead.
Hatter: Oh God, this is a terrible plan! Why did no one stop me?
Alice: Because you didn’t tell us!
Hatter: Because then you would have stopped me!
Jack: Mother, I know all about your diabolical plan.
Queen: What diabolical plan?
Jack: [holds up a document that says “My Diabolical Plan by Queen Mary”]
Jack: What are you doing?
Duchess: Offering moral support.
Jack: You have morals?
Duchess: No, but I support those who do.
Hatter: How did I break my wrist? wrong answers only.
Duchess: Smacking the juicy metal ass of that statue of Jack in the garden so hard it shattered?
Hatter: I said wrong answers only.
Hatter: Honestly, the concept of doppelgängers is scary, but if I saw myself I probably wouldn't be that terrified. Like, I know he can't run for more than three minutes straight. I know he hasn't slept properly in several months. He's not going to do anything. He doesn't even know what day it is.
Hatter: Okay, lets review the plan. If I'm killed, what do you do?
Alice: Avenge you!
Hatter: Thank you, but no.
Hatter: Bi means two, so whenever you encounter a bisexual, there is a smaller, sneakier bisexual hiding nearby, waiting.
Alice: A nearbi if you will.
Both: [High five]
Hatter: There is nothing to worry about. Look, it says right here, he is doing phenomenal :)
Alice: ...
Alice: Hatter, that says he’s got pneumonia.
Duchess: This is a disaster! The printer messed up the invitation. It’s supposed to say Hatter's Birthday!
Alice: What does it say instead?
Duchess: Hatter's Bi.
Alice: That actually still works.
Hatter: It is the middle of the night. I was asleep. You do not knock before entering a gentleman's room?
Jack: I beg your pardon, you are no gentleman, Hatter. You’re a scoundrel. Everyone knows that. Why would I knock before entering a scoundrel’s room?
Hatter: Because I have a gun and I will use it.
Charlie: Sorry, I lost my cool for a second there.
Hatter: You can’t lose something you never had, Charlie.
Alice: Please, be careful.
Hatter: You know me.
Alice: Yeah, exactly, that’s what I’m worried about.
Owl: I keep getting caught when I pickpocket.
Hatter: Probably because you keep saying ‘yoink!’ whenever you do it.
Alice: What’s this?
Duchess: It's my to-do list.
Alice: Oh? That’s so great, I’m so glad you’re starting to be more organiz-
Alice: This just says “Jack”...