Not You Fergie You're An Angel And We're Glad You're Here

Collection of incorrect quotes from the characters of @sweetonmeclarence's Bardquest campaign. A labor of love and also of shitposting. 

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Kallista: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, what would be your state?

Demyan: Sober

Ari: Maybe a bit tipsy

Theo: Wasted!

Aidan: Dead.

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Fergie: Would you fuck a reverse mermaid? Like a mermaid with the bottom half of a woman and the top half of a fish

Demyan, through tears: please stop

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Fergie: are lobsters mermaids to scorpions

Demyan: it's literally 3 am

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Ari: When we first met, I thought you were an asshole.

Ari: But then we got to spend some time together.

Kallista: Aww...

Ari: Now I KNOW you're an asshole.

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Loren: Okay, let's all say "I'm sorry" on the count of three. One, two, three:

The Dicksquad:

Loren:

Loren: See, now I'm disappointed in all of us

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Theo: Hey Kallista, have you been sucking some big juicy dicks?

Loren: THEO, there's a kid behind you!

Theo: Have you been inhaling some large succulent Richards

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Ari: where are you going?

Kallista: either to get some ice cream or commit a felony. i'll decide in the car

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Kallista: hey I heard you playing piano in here

Kallista: do you take requests?

Ari: of course

Kallista: please stop

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Hyacinth: your eyes are red, have you been smoking?

Esperanzo: I was crying, bitch, fuck off

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

[Mini calling Theo in the middle of the night]

Theo: what's up

Mini: I got my dick stuck in a pringles can

Theo: ...what flavor

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Zella: is three fingers too much?

Fergie: not at all! most people have ten!

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Ari: how long did you nap for?

Vedas: fifteen

Ari: minutes?

Vedas: hours

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Raziel: so I heard you like bad boys

June: not really

Raziel: oh thank god I couldn't have kept that up

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

assassin: I see you

Kallista:

assassin:

Kallista: do I look good

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Demyan: we should have nicknames for each other

Kallista: okay!

Demyan: how does "girlfriend" sound

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Vedas: see, you always gotta be positive

Vedas: [falls down the stairs]

Vedas: damn I sure got down here fast

[incorrectbardquestquotes]

Loren: I am a piece of trash

Aidan: As someone who cares about the environment, I'm obligated to pick you up. Is seven okay?

Loren: You smooth motherfu--yeah, seven is fine.