Incorrect Billy and Mandy Quotes

inspired by incorrectmaraudersquotes.

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“As long as you carry the spirit of destruction and vandalism in your hearts, every day is Halloween.”

- Jack O’Lantern

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Grim: You know, sometimes being friends with a colossal screw-up isn’t so bad.

Billy: Aw, anything for you, buddy!

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Irwin: Here is where you are wrong, my friend. This woman has killed before.

Billy: Allegedly.

Irwin: Okay, whatever. But she was a big girl. We are talking about a large, healthy woman of questionable stability.

Billy: Oh, you are totally underestimating the never-say-die scrappiness of a survivor.

Mandy: Hey, guess what? Nobody cares who would win in a crazy fantasy fist-fight between Anne Frank and Lizzie Borden.

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Ms. Butterbean: So, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Pud'n: I want to be a doctor!

Ms. Butterbean: (sarcastically) Wonderful.

(Irwin raises his hand)

Ms. Butterbean: Irwin.

Irwin: I want to be a teacher!

Ms. Butterbean: (dryly) No. You do not.

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“His hair? Wack! His gear? Wack! His jewelry? Wack! his foot stance? Wack! The way that he talks? Wack! The that he doesn’t even like to smile? Wack! Me? I’m tight as FUCK!”

Irwin, talking to Mandy about Junior

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Mandy: Hey, let’s play a game. It’s called “See Who Can Be Quiet the Longest”.

Billy: Cool! My mom LOVES that game!

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Jack (young, naive, pre-decapitation): I hope something good happens.

Jack (now): I hope whatever bad thing happens is at least funny.

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“Well, I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penised debutante. You wanna start a street fight with me, bring it on but you’re gonna be surprised by how ugly it gets. You don’t even know my real name.”

- Mandy

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“I ain’t sure what HD is, but the doctor just called and said I got 80 of them bitches! Whooo!”

- Billy

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Grim: (humming) Wow, a surprisingly peaceful domestic moment. When will it be ruined?

Billy: (slams the front door open) GRIIIIM!

Grim: There it is.

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Grim: Everybody knows McDonald’s has the best chicken nuggets.

Mandy: No, Wendy’s is where it’s at!

Billy: I like Burger King!

Grim: ...What did you say?

Mandy: (confused) Did this motherfucker just say “Burger King”?

Grim: I didn’t even know they HAD chicken nuggets!

Mandy: (hitting Billy with a shoe) Billy, do me a solid and eat this shoe for me really quick SINCE YOU ALREADY LIKE THE TASTE OF RUBBER!

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Gladys: WHY AREN’T THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER?!

Harold: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

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I don’t hold out much hope for Billy. He has many excellent qualities, but thinking is not one of them.

Grim

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Irwin: Just tried watermelon on pizza. Honestly? It was pretty good.

Billy: That's him, officer, that's the guy right there, take the shot before he gets away.

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I think I will cause problems on purpose.

Jack O’Lantern

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Billy: Okay, okay. So, say I put my brain in a robot body and there's a war. Robots versus humans. What side am I on?

Grim: Humans. You have a human brain!

Mandy: But the humans discriminate against you. You can't even vote.

Irwin: We’d better not have to live on a reservation. That would really chap my caboose.

Grim: Yeah, but... no one knows you're a robot. You look the same.

Mandy: Dogs know. That's how the humans hunt you.

Billy: They're gonna hunt me for sport?!

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Mandy: Billy has a very strange patchwork of knowledge. It's anybody's guess what he knows about any given topic. Watch. Billy? Who made Mt. Rushmore?

Billy: Gutzon Borglum. Then his son finished it. Why?

Mandy: And what state is it in?

Billy: I DON'T KNOW! ECUADOR? WHAT'S WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS?!