Incorrect Castlevania Quotes

For anyone who didn't play the games, but loved the series. Like me! Or if you love Castlevania and you're ok with these quotes basically being only about the series. (pssst... submit a quote?)

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Trevor: I'm the kind of guy that likes to think things through

Sypha: since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was still on fire

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Alucard: How do you get anything done if all you do is argue with each other?

Trevor: We don't! That's part of our charm! Quit fucking it up!

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Alucard: I am perhaps already the undead, hauling my body around this mortal realm, haunted by the souls of the damned and the hungry who feast on my muscles and bones until I shall be dragged to hell once more

Sypha, just trying to give him a band-aid: ...once again, i don't know where that is on the 1-10 pain scale

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Trevor: how do I tell if the water's boiling?

Alucard: try sticking your hand in it

Trevor: ok thanks

Trevor: wait

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Trevor: hey do you think I can fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Sypha: you are a hazard to society.

Alucard: and a coward. do twenty

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Sypha: I hate it when people use big words to look smart without even knowing what they mean.

Trevor: I photosynthesize with this.

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Trevor: We dream of summertime in the winter. We yearn for winter in the summer. What fatal flaw has God injected the human psyche with? Why must we always strive for the things furthest away from us?

Sypha: Are you okay??

Trevor: My feet are cold as FUCK

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bold of you to assume i have self-control

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NO ONE SPOIL CASTLEVANIA FOR ME OR I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND GLUE PEBBLES INSIDE OF EVERY PAIR OF SHOES YOU OWN

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Barmaid: Trevor, you're a bit of a loose cannon.

Trevor: Nah, I'm more of a reckless renegade. Sypha's a loose cannon.

Sypha: [smashes a chair]

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Alucard: welcome, everyone. today i will be trying human beauty products.

Alucard: [takes bite directly out of bar of soap]

Alucard: well right off the bat i can tell you this one is not very good

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@shinysoroka i swear to fuckiNG GOD

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@rinzlerkitty

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Alucard: welcome, everyone. today i will be trying human beauty products.

Alucard: [takes bite directly out of bar of soap]

Alucard: well right off the bat i can tell you this one is not very good

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Trevor: [drunk] Hey, who’d win in a fight, me or a gorilla?

Alucard: Gorilla.

Trevor: No, me VERSUS Gorilla.

Sypha: Gorilla.

Trevor: No, but in a contest.

Alucard: Gorilla.

Trevor: But in a competition.

Sypha: Um… Gorilla.

Trevor: You don’t get it. [continues to drink]

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Sypha: Well, I warned you.

Trevor: You did.

Sypha: But did you listen?

Trevor: No.

Sypha: Do you ever listen?

Trevor: No.

Sypha: Are you listening now?

Trevor: No.

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Sypha: I wanted to talk to you about something last night that really upset me.

Trevor: Okay, but in my defense, the vampire bet me that I couldn't eat all that soap.

Sypha: That's not what I wanted to- you ate soap?