Hi Overeager, I'm dad.

The early bird catches the worm!~ Admin Daddyman/Pooch • ask is open and so is the submit.

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Joseph: *making a video* “Hi my name is Joseph I am new to the single scene. I’m looking for a discrete relationship that—“ Mary: *standing in the doorway* “What are you doing?” Joseph: *closes the door on Mary*

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You treat an outside wound with rubbing alcohol. You treat an inside wound with drinking alcohol.

Robert. (Source: New Girl)

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Craig: Do you want a protein shake, bro? Dadsona: Nah, bro. Craig: Why, bro? Dadsona: Because you’re the only one who gives me strength, bro. Craig: Bro…

(Source: Tumblr)

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When you turn 18, people are gonna try and tell you to buy porn or cigarettes because you can. Fuck that. You know what else is legal to buy at 18? Blades. Get yourself a damn sword. A big knife is also okay.

Robert. (Source: Tumblr)

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I want to make fun of stupid people while getting drunk. My two true passions.

Mary.  (Source: Parks and Recreation)

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Mary: Joseph, can you just… do something here? I never have any idea what to say to these people. Joseph: You mean children?

(Source: The Wolf Among Us)

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Amanda: It was lit! Dadsona: The place was lit up? Amanda: No, it was LIT! Dadsona: There was a fire?!

(Source: Vine)

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Home Invasion is an unfortunate Skill to Have but it’s the Cross I have to Bear…. For any of the dads

Please do not invade any of the Dad’s homes.

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Think of me as your Yoda. Except instead of being little and green, I look good shirtless and I’m awesome. I’m your bro. Your Broda.

Craig. (Source: How I Met Your Mother)

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Ok but consider this; mat sella

I guess that is a possibility. I never checked thoroughly enough to see how Mat’s last name is spelled.

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Damien: Dogs are nice. I love dogs.  Damien: Because in dogs, we see the things we wish we saw more in people: lifelong friendship, unwavering loyalty, and a willingness to eat anything you cook.

(Source: The Simpsons)

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Mary: Good question, Damien! Damien, to Robert: How come you don’t point it out when I ask good questions? Robert: Because I don’t love you like she does. Mary: Told you.

(Source: Scrubs)

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Craig: So you think I have a nice ass? Dadsona: I do. Craig: Thanks! Dadsona: No problem, bro. 

(Source: Text Message)

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Lucien: *on the phone with Ernest* Hello Ernest: Hey what’s up? Lucien: I need your help. Can you come here? Ernest: Uhhh, I can’t. I’m buying clothes. Lucien: Alright, hurry up and come over here. Ernest: Well, I can’t find them. Lucien: What do you mean you can’t find them? Ernest: I can’t find them. There’s only soup. Lucien: What do you mean there’s only soup? Ernest: It means there’s only soup. Lucien: WELL THEN GET OUT OF THE SOUP AISLE! Ernest: Alright you don’t have to shout at me! Ernest: *goes to the next aisle* Ernest: There’s more soup. Lucien: What do you mean there’s more soup? Ernest: There’s just more soup! Lucien: Then go into the next aisle! Ernest: There’s still soup! Lucien: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW? Ernest: I’M AT SOUP! Lucien: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE AT SOUP? Ernest: I MEAN I’M AT SOUP! Lucien: WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN? Ernest: I’M AT THE SOUP STORE! Lucien: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE? Ernest: FUCK YOU!

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I would like to thank my arms for being by my side, my legs for lifting me up when I’m down, and my hips for not lying to me.

Dadsona. (Source: Tumblr)

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[playing scrabble] Mat: I will put my “A” down to make “A.” Craig: I will add to your “A” to make “AT.” Brian: I will add onto your “AT” to make “RAT.” Hugo: I will add onto your “RAT” to make “BIOSTRATIGRAPHIC.” Robert: [flips the board]

(Source: The Suite Life on Deck)

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Robert: Obeying horror story rules, I’m going to go out alone. Robert: You stay here while I go out looking for help. Dadsona: Oh-okay… [Robert walks off] Dadsona: God bless him, leaving me here alone and defenseless in a cemetery. What a guy.

(Source: Ghost Stories)