they've said a lot of stuff in fifteen years

so you can't prove they never said this.

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Klaus: Valois are very dangerous people, so it's important to use the utmost caution when approaching them.

Gil, age Little Shit, stabbing Tarvek in the back while he's literally right there and can hear everything being said: GET FUCKED!

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Gil: You know, I really think we should take a non-violent approach to resolve this.

Bang: I agree! Except, replace the word “non” with “extremely”, and after the word “violent”, include the phrase “blood explosion extroardinaire”!

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Lucrezia: I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life.

Aaronev: I know this, and I love you.

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Tarvek:   I know nobody asked for my advice- Gil:   Yet you’re talking. Tarvek:   -but I agree with Gil. Gil:   Let’s hear him out.

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Lucrezia:   I may or may not be in a cult. Lucrezia:   Update: I may or may not be leader of said cult.

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Barry:   So, what’s it like being married to Zantabraxus? Klaus:   Once, I asked her for a glass of water while she was angry with me, and she brought me a glass full of ice and said “wait.”

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Susa:   It’s becoming increasingly obvious… I can deny it no longer! Susa:   …I am small.

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Klaus:   Anything you say in the next 30 seconds is free. Starting right now. Tarvek:   I think you’re cocky, arrogant, bossy, and pushy. You also have a god complex and don’t think of anybody but your damn self. Klaus:   But I– Tarvek:   But what? I still have 22 seconds and I’m not done.

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Violetta:   They’re here. Zeetha:   You think it’s a trap? Violetta:   Definitely. Zeetha:   You wanna go spring it? Violetta:   Absolutely.

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Zeetha:   My dad is so weird. Zeetha:   I’d love to meet him someday.

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Martellus: Why do people like you guys so much?

Violetta: Well, dude, it’s not that they like us, it’s that they don’t like you. You know why? Uh, because you’re an asshole!

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Tarvek: So how did you and Wulfenbach meet, anyway?

Agatha: oh, I ran into him on the street one day.

Violetta: So you randomly saw each other one day, just like that?

Agatha: No, I mean I ran into him. On a clank. Full speed.

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

The first rule of combat is to stab them before they stab you.

Bangladesh DuPree

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Hey, I said I’d be a better person, I’m still not a good person.

Tarvek Sturmvoraus

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Tarvek, coming out to Violetta: I’m bi- biso- bise-

Violetta: It’s okay, take your time.

Tarvek, giving up after seven tries: *points at Gil* BOYS *points at Agatha* GIRLS

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Teodora: Do you think that maybe you’re feeling - I don’t know - a little guilty?

Saturnus: What’s “guilty”?

Teodora: *laughs*

Saturnus: …

Teodora: Oh. Um, when you feel bad about what you’ve done.

Saturnus: That’s not a thing!

[incorrectgirlgeniusquotes]

Tarvek: Do you wanna play a game?

Violetta: Sure. I spy with my little eye someone who needs to shut the hell up.

Tarvek: Is it me?

Violetta: It’s always you.