Thanks to this post I am now actively thinking about the Machine for Picking Up Girls (I am always thinking about the Machine for Picking Up Girls), so now we must have
Girl Genius Characters React to Being Picked Up By the Machine for Picking Up Girls:
Agatha: it's a big clank, are you kidding? She's delighted. She has 12 suggestions for Spontaneously Improving it that she's going to try out right now, and then she's going to conduct a controlled trial of its upgraded ability to Pick Up Girls. For the rest of this post, assume that Agatha is operating the Machine.
Zeetha: spontaneously invents the Fastball Special. Is removed from the experiment pool until the next time we need someone to do that, which will probably be, y'know, tomorrow or something. Stuff happens.
Violetta: tolerates it once for Agatha's sake. Is unfindable for the rest of the trial.
Bang: if she sees that clank again she'll murder it and Gil.
Colette: she'll take five of them, but Gil will never hear the end of it. Spontaneous Improvements are made.
Seffie: not sure why she's tolerating it. [Colette is operating the Machine, is why.] You can put her down now.
Sleipnir: "Hey Agatha, I can see your house from up here!"
Larana: already best friends with Zoing.
Trelawney: thinks it's hilarious. Comparing notes with Zeetha about the Fastball Special ideas.
Neena: can she have one for her mom's next party, and also can she take it on expeditions. Also spontaneously best friends with Zoing.
Albia: we didn't try this.
Francisca Monahan: talked about rats until the experimenters went away. File under "unsuccessful", and possibly under "god-queen influence used".
Prrrriti M'reau: absolutely not. Experiment cancelled on account of Angry Cat Glare.
Zola: I think we should do this in canon, actually.
Lucrezia: I don't think we should do this in any context, actually.
Mamma Gkika: has a VERY scandalous story about picking up girls. Experiment paused while everyone recovers. Or encodes the notes they were taking during the story. Whichever.
Hexalina Snaug: this sort of thing happens to minions. Resigned. That really could have been more traumatizing though. Would they like suggestions?
Otilia: puts the Machine and Gil in time-out. [Zoing is innocent, obviously.]
Tinka, Moxana, Orotine, and possibly Prende: all mysteriously missing from the subject pool, and nobody knows where Tarvek went either.
Lilith Clay: tolerates this with dignity, but only because it's Agatha doing it.
Maxinia Clay: the Machine is NOT ALLOWED to pick up the baby unless the baby SPECIFICALLY wants to be picked up. [The baby absolutely wants to be picked up. It is very gentle with her. She is less gentle with it. Experiment paused for repairs and Spontaneous Improvements.]
Zulenna: NO.
Jenka: we forgot to warn Füst. Repairs.
Lumi von Mekkhan: says "Wheeeeeee!" a lot. Spontaneous Improvements.
Captain Oana Grosu: is definitely going to tell some pirates she knows about this. Are there spares of this machine by the way.
Captain Jeanne the Europan of Piratical Descent: has SO MANY QUESTIONS.
Pix: can you do that again but on cue this time.
Zantabraxus: NO. [but would like to see the Fastball Special again]
Professoressa Kaja: this is how the story knows about the Machine for Picking Up Girls. Oops.
