Quotes From The Colloseum

Ginger Freak Apologist

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Geta: Kind of craving a banana right now.

Caracalla: I like how they make your mouth tingle.

Macrinus: Bananas should not make your mouth tingle. I think you might be allergic.

Caracalla: What are you talking about? Bananas are a little spicy. Are you telling me I've spent my entire life being allergic to bananas and didn't know it?

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Acacius: Can you keep a secret?

Geta: Yes, we can.

Acacius: “We?”

Geta: Yes, me and my brother. No one else will know.

Acacius: No, I want you to know but not Caracalla

Geta: If you don't want Caracalla to know then why are you telling me?

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Geta: I've created a color-coded alert system to track my brother’s moods.

Acacius: What does blue mean?

Geta: Blue means he’s calm.

Acacius: I see.

Geta: We’ve never been at blue.

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Geta: Another day, another slay.

*later*

Lucilla: Have you seen the news? Apparently the emperor declared a gladiator to be killed.

Acacius:

Acacius: Oh, he was serious.

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Geta: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done.

Caracalla: When we were younger, you convinced me eggs weren't real.

Geta: They’re not.

Caracalla: Haha, very funny.

Geta: I'm serious. Didn't you hear?

Caracalla: No, what happened?

Macrinus: Why would you fall for this again?

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Lucilla: What were you looking for in my house?

Macrinus: The respect of your peers and a fulfilling home life.

Macrinus: But you were fresh out of both.

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Caracalla: Hey, if you want straight answers, ask a straight man!

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Lucius: You look like you've fought 10 people and ran a mile to get here.

Acacius: 12 people. 4 miles

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Geta: I know we’ve always had this unspoken rivalry…

Lucius: Not a rivalry, you’re just always mean to me.

Lucius: And it’s not unspoken, you talk about it all the time.

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Ravi, about the army coming to help: Wow, that’s a great plan.

Lucius: Thanks, now I just need to come up with a way to take it over the top. A way to make it unhinged.

Ravi: Have you ever tried just being hinged?

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Macrinus: I just got a new wax tablet, what should I put in it?

Caracalla: Put spaghetti in it.

Macrinus: I am taking suggestions from anyone else.

Geta: Put spaghetti in it.

Macrinus: I am taking suggestions from anyone except you two.

Lucius: Put spaghetti in it.

Macrinus: I am no longer taking suggestions.

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Acacius, about the twins: They were so annoying, it almost triggered my fight or fight response.

Lucius: You mean fight or flight?

Acacius: No, I mean fight or fight. I’m not a damn bird, Lucius.

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Macrinus: Whatever it takes to keep you out of my hair.

Caracalla, confused: Macrinus, you’re bald.

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Geta: Discipline is an incredibly important part of a child's development. When I was a kid, if I did anything childlike - yell, run around, just generally have a zest for life - I would be put in time out. And I would have to reckon with the fact that I had committed a failure of character. And that is how I became the well-adjusted man that stands before you today.

Acacius: …This explains so much.

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Ravi: Please, I’m begging you, let me treat this.

Lucius: I’m sorry, is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Geta: *whispers something threatening in Acacius’ ear*

Lucilla: Oh my gods... what did he just say to you? That, if we don't give him what he wants, we'll be killed?

Acacius: Worse… he mumbled and I didn’t hear him.

[incorrectgladiatorquotes]

Caracalla: ❤️💓💞💛💘💙💓💕💖💓💛❤️💞❣️💚💕💓💝❤️💘💖💗💓💞💕💝💗💖❤️💘💗💛❣️💖💕💙💘💞💛💗💚💛💖💘

Geta: How the fuck did you say that out loud?