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incorrect golden kamuy quotes. not spoiler free. submissions are open! tracking #incorrect golden kamuy

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Shiraishi: *searching frantically through his pockets* Shit, I've lost my keys. Can I borrow yours?

Prison Guard: No.

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Koito: Can I ask a dumb question?

Tsukishima: Better than anyone I know.

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Sugimoto: I have no parental figure telling me not to wrestle bears.

Asirpa: *quickly* It's me. I am that figure. I am telling you now: Do. Not. Wrestle. Bears.

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Inkarmat: Why use makeup and high heels to strike fear into the hearts of men when just existing as an autonomous person with your own thoughts and feelings is the most terrifying thing any man can imagine.

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Tanigaki: Why is everyone making such a big deal out of top or bottom? To be honest, I'd be really excited just having a bunk bed.

Ogata:

Sugimoto:

Ogata: I'm going to tell him.

Sugimoto: Don't you fucking dare.

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Shiraishi: Would you consider us adorable?

Sugimoto: No, we're adult men.

Sugimoto: We're cute.

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Tsurumi: *breathes*

Koito: Did you see that? That's real talent. Just pure talent. I am amazed. Outstanding performance. Never been seen before-

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Shiraishi: Ah!! A spider!!

Asirpa: Don't kill it, I'll let it outsi-

Ogata: *walks into the room and accidentally steps on the spider*

Shiraishi:

Asirpa:

Ogata:

Ogata: Pain is temporary.

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Koito: You know, there's something weird going on with your face.

Tsukishima: What?

Koito: You're smiling. I didn't know you could do that.

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Asirpa: You know, I really think we should try a non-violent approach to resolve this.

Sugimoto: I agree. Except replace the word "non" with "extremely" and after the word "violent" include the phrase "blood explosion extraordinaire."

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Shiraishi: is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing

Kiroranke: no, it's called highjacking

Sugimoto: guys no it's weedwhacking

Tanigaki: no it's called disappointing your mother

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Sugimoto: the real secret to immortality? not dying. you want to be immortal? okay. easy. just don't die. that's it. refuse to die. there you go.

Sugimoto: "but how" you may ask. easy. just don't do it. refuse to. say no thanks.

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Shiraishi: You saved me, Asirpa. I owe you my life.

Asirpa: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not impressed.

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Tanigaki: You want me to flex and make all the buttons pop off of my shirt?

Sugimoto: Yes! You can do that?

Tanigaki: The challenge is keeping the buttons on.

Sugimoto: Okay, okay, okay, okay.

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Kiroranke: When people get a little too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.

Ogata: That's a genius move.

Kiroranke: Thank you.

Ogata: You're welcome, Kirito.