Merry Sinsmas everyone!
Enjoy your day indulging in your favourite sin!
Doug Jones

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@incorrecthellaversesins
Merry Sinsmas everyone!
Enjoy your day indulging in your favourite sin!
Lucifer: Apparently some people go to bed and just… sleep??? They don’t softly broil in existential dread or replay every mistake they ever made???
Lucifer: And then they wake up - hold on let me check my notes -
Lucifer: REFRESHED??? I just. It sounds a bit fake to me
Lucifer: If I was boss, I would treat my goons right. They would know love. “You’ve got it, boss” will be met with “Stay safe out there, boys. You’re my pride and joy”
Charlie:
Lucifer:
Charlie: One of us is still ‘it’ from a game of tag when I was younger
Lucifer:
Lucifer: Way to fuck me up on a Tuesday
Bee: If you want straight answers, ask a straight lady
A Drunk Hellhound: [Sings the ABCs out of order]
Bee: Yes girl, REMIX!
Lucifer, texting at 2 AM: I have a question for you
Charlie: Yes, Dad, I’d cry if you died
Charlie: Yes I’d still love you if you were a worm
Charlie: Yes I still love you
Charlie: No I don’t want to disown you
Lucifer: Thanks sweetie <3
Lucifer: I haven’t said “Wowzers” for a long time
Lucifer:
Lucifer: Probably due to depression.
Tex: My girlfriend saw a rabbit in her yard eating grass and said “that would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”
Mammon: Could you be quiet?! I’m tryin’ to think!
Ozzie: Don’t worry, doing anything for the first time is difficult.
Bee: *slams the door open* GUESS WHO’S DRUNK!
Tex: *still half asleep*
Bee: *does a little twirl as she shuts the door and turns on the light*
Tex: I guess Bee…
Bee: You guessed right! *falls on top of him and cuddles him*
Ozzie: Mammon, you’re the salt of the earth
Mammon: Aw, thanks
Ozzie: …I meant scum of the earth.
Mammon: Thanks
Lilith: Be back in a bit baby!
Lucifer: Okay, bye, I’ll misssss youuuu!
Lilith: I’LL MISS YOU FUCKING MORE!
Lucifer, answering the phone: Hello?
Mammon: It’s Mammon!
Lucifer: What did he do this time?
Mammon: No, it’s me, Mammon, it’s actually me
Lucifer: What did you do this time?