Incorrect H.I.V.E quotes

Things that the H.I.V.E characters may or may not have said. Submissions greatly appreciated and welcome in all forms! Open for members!

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Raven: Every time I meet a new person, I figure out how I’m gonna fight ‘em.

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Is this active?

Ehhh, that depends on what you mean by active. I haven’t been actively interested in the series for a couple of years now, so it’s unlikely for me to post things anymore. But I’m around to receive asks and submissions (though I’m really bad at getting to them in a timely manner), and I semi-regularly check the activity/notes (and it still brings a smile to see the reblogs, comments and fun tags!) Basically if I get an idea I’ll post it, but it’s gonna be uncommon for me to get ideas for this fandom anymore. I don’t know how it is for the other mod, @themalhambird, so I won’t speak for them. 

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Professor Pike: Why are you on the floor?

Nero: I'm depressed.

Professor Pike:

Nero: Also I was stabbed, can you get Raven?

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Otto: You know how you told me not to burn the school down?

Nero: You burned the school down?

Otto: No, no, I had the fire out almost immediately. This is a success story.

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Contessa: I know you feel betrayed-

Professor Pike: Yes, well, that's one of the unpleasant side effects of betrayal

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Cypher: Look at us, bickering like school girls, looking around the room for things to hit each other with.

Nero:...I don't think we were doing that.

Raven: Chair, lamp, plant, Robot leg, Max's leg.

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Nero: No

Shelby: That's your favourite word isn't it?

Nero: It's a classic. Nope, never, forget about it.

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Shelby: Hey, you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Wing: You're a hazard to yourself

Otto: And a coward! Try twenty

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Nero: Diabolus, we got a way out of here?

Diabolus: Max, I'm a professional

Nero: That's not a yes!

Diabolus: It's not a no!

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When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it’s ‘intelligent’ and ‘really cool’.  But when I do it I’m ‘petty’ and ‘need to move on’.

Dr. Nero, about his relation with his father

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Shelby: That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen

Laura: How cool will it be when it kills us?

Shelby: Considerably less cool

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Diabolus: Maybe you should find a hobby

Raven: All of my hobbies include swords

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On Tuesday we’ll be having another chess tournament. Given Otto's uninterrupted fifty-three week winning streak, he has agreed to play blindfolded and without rooks, bishops, or queens.

Wing

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Raven: If you get stabbed, don't remove the knife from the wound

Shelby: What if I'm ready to immediately cauterize the wound?

Raven: Good luck cauterizing an internal arterial hemorrhage

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Otto: Shelby, everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public

Shelby: The whole 'childhood wonder' stage just blew right past you, didn't it?

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Nigel: You know that manslaughter is the least serious murder charge?

Otto: You don't say

Nigel: Manslaughter. Literally, the slaughter of a man. Sounds brutal, doesn't it?

Franz: Heinous

Nigel: Yet it's the most socially acceptable form of murder

Laura: So you think we should change the name

Nigel: Yes I do. How about 'inadvertent life-ending'? 'Unintentional snuff-out'

Shelby: How about 'I can't believe it's not murder'?

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Dr. Nero: Miss Trinity, you're not thinking about trespassing on government property again, are you? I know that you've done it in the past, but I don't think that this warrants–

Shelby: Too late. I'm already inside.