incorrect house md

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[incorrecthousemd]

*at house's funeral*

wilson: can i have a moment alone with him, please?

wilson, leaning in: listen up, i know you're not actually dead

house, opening his eyes: obviously

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chase, under his breath: future wife say what

cameron: what?

chase: :)

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taub: let's agree to both say sorry on the count of three

foreman: okay

taub: one

taub: two

taub: three

taub: ...

foreman: ...

taub: well now i'm just disappointed in both of us

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chase: *opens the door to see foreman standing outside with a "prom?" sign*

chase: oh my god yes!!

foreman: no! tell thirteen-

chase: thirteen! i'm going to prom with your boyfriend!

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wilson: this is a mistake

house: a mistake we're going to laugh about one day

wilson: today?

house: fuck no. today's gonna be awful

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cuddy: wilson's missing. i need you to find him

house: what, do you think i have him microchipped?

cuddy: ...

house: okay fine, i do

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thirteen: why can't koalas be bears?

foreman: because they're marsupials

thirteen: no! it's because they don't have the right koala-fications

[incorrecthousemd]

*on a hike*

wilson: it's beautiful out here

cameron: and so quiet

wilson: wait... why is it so quiet

cameron: WE LOST CHASE AND HOUSE

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wilson: you know, it wouldn't kill you to be nice to people

house: we don't know that

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chase: what do IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?

foreman: i don't know, i love you, talk to you later

chase: love you too :) i'll just go ask cameron instead

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adams: i don't think playing "whose family is the most dysfunctional" was a good idea

adams: chase has been crying in the bathroom for the past thirty minutes

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house: why should i hire you?

kutner: i'm creative

house: what do you create?

kutner: problems

house: ...you're hired

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house: we have a problem

cuddy: no, you have a problem. i just have an employee who keeps making them

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thirteen: when i first met you, i thought you were an asshole

foreman: what changed your mind?

thirteen: i didn't change my mind, i've just grown to like that about you

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wilson: look, are you going to be part of the problem, or part of the solution?

house: oh, definitely the problem

wilson: it was a rhetorical question!

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thirteen: why can't you just admit when you make a mistake?

foreman, stirring his coffee: i prefer it with salt

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thirteen: i want to wake up with you every morning

foreman: i wake up at 5am

thirteen: ...i want to see you at some point during the day every day