Nikki: I only showed up on the hopes that i’ll have an anxiety attack and die on stage
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@incorrecthuniequotes
Nikki: I only showed up on the hopes that i’ll have an anxiety attack and die on stage
MC: Kyu? What's going on?
Kyu: I just told you. You're dead. This is the afterlife, and I'm God.
MC: You are NOT God!
Kyu: Blasphemy. You're lucky I don't cast you out or smite you or something.
Candy: Um, Miss Yumi?
Aiko: Yes, Candace, what is it?
Candy: My worm went in my mouth and then I ate it. Can I have another one?
Aiko: No, Candace, there aren’t any more. Just try to sleep while the other children are learning.
Candy: Oh boy, sleep! That’s where I’m a Barbarian!
Sarah: my cooking skills have not progressed. I make spaghetti, and eggs, and fish.
Nikki: But fish is so complicated to make.
Sarah: No it isn't, not my fish. You just get some fish that are raw...
Nikki: What kind of fish?
Aiko *genuinely kind of confused*: Uh what?
Nora: Name a fish Sarah.
Sarah: Ssssssssssssss-sword?
Aiko, Nikki and Nora: *uncontrollable laughing*
Nikki: *through laughter* Sword?
Sarah: Sword fish.
Nikki: You buy Sword fish?
Nora: That's expensive.
Sarah: You said name a fish, so I was thinking..
Nikki: Name a fish you eat! I'm gonna go to the butcher, go up to the fish section and go "I want Sword!"
Nora: No no no, just say "I want fish."
Aiko: I want to buy one fish please.
Sarah: and then I just, uh you know, I just put it in. What I do for cooking is, um I just like put dressing on it. Like, salad dressing.
Nikki: You put like Italian salad dressing on it?
Sarah: Yeah, just whatever dressing is there.
Aiko and Nora: Ranch?
Sarah: Yeah.
Nikki: Ugh!
Sarah: It's whatever dressing I have I just put dressing on it, then I just cook it and it tastes like balsamic vinegar.
Nikki: You're skipping so many steps.
Aiko: Do you put thousand island on it, and just say "Look it's like you're back in the ocean swimming among the islands."
Sarah: Because I can vary up my flavours by what dressing I use.
Nikki: *Laughing*
Nora: Can we get a Michelin star for Sarah?
Nikki: I don't know how you couldn't qualify. I have no idea with that stunning recipe of fish and dressing.
Aiko: What kind of dressing? Whatever.
Nora: What kind of fish?
Nikki: I would like Sword with- *breaks down laughing*
Sarah: Don’t worry everyone, I have a subtle plan.
Nikki: A subtle plan? Sarah you wouldn’t know a subtle plan if it painted itself purple, jumped on top of a Harpsichord, and sang “Subtle plans’ are here again.”
Audrey: I don’t know how to be, Tiffany. It doesn’t get better and it doesn’t get easier. I can’t keep lying to myself, saying I’m going to change I’m poison.
Tiffany: Audrey…
Audrey: I come from poison, I have poison inside me, and I destroy everything I touch. That’s my legacy, I have nothing to show for the life I’ve lived, and I have nobody in my life who’s better off for having known me.
Tiffany: That isn’t true.
Audrey: Isn’t it though?
Tiffany: *sighs* You know growing up I didn’t have the easiest childhood. Things weren’t that great for me, but one day I met you, another person who had nobody, and whenever we hung out I had a home, and it helped me survive. Audrey, I am better off for having known you.
Audrey: Why did you never tell me that?
Tiffany: I guess I assumed you didn’t want to hear it.
MC: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One.
MC: Aiko, code name – “Been There, Done That.”
MC: Lola is “Currently Doing That.”
MC: Jessie is “It Happened Once in a Dream.”
MC: Nikki, code name “If I Had To Pick a Nerd.”
MC: Tiffany is…
Tiffany: …
MC: Eagle Two.
Tiffany: Oh thank God.
Jessie: Aiko, who is a grown woman with a master's degree in mathematics, just whispered “Oh, this is going to be so fucking efficient” before spraying febreeze directly into the ceiling fan and proceeding to cough her guts out when it flew back in her face.
Tiffany: It's a beautiful day outside!
Nikki: Okay, keep me posted.
Candace: I’m the kind of person that likes to think things through.
Nora: Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow that was still on fire.
Lailani: I’ve never actually been in a snowball fight.
Lola: Really?
Lailani: I don’t even know the rules. Is there, like, a point system? Or is it….to the death?
Kyanna: I love being a mother, but there’s a few things I miss. Silence. The absence of noise. One single moment undisturbed by the sounds of a children’s TV program named Doc McStuffin’s. There is no silence anymore. There is only Doc McStuffin’s.
Kyu: Isn’t it funny how everyone is like background characters in other people’s stories? Except for me of course, because I’m sexy and important, but like, all of you guys.
Lillian: Dracula had it right - sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.
Lola: [Looking into the first aid kit] Why the fuck would you fill this with cheetos?!
Ashley: [Bleeding out] It was funny at the time…
Beli: My leopard gecko hasn’t eaten for over a week. Vet said he’s extremely healthy and the reason he’s not eating is likely due to him entering breeding season early.
Ashley: Can you imagine someone handing you a burger and you being like “I can’t eat this I’m too fucking horny.”
Abia: It’s happened to me before…
Waiter: So what would you like to order?
MC: Can I get a milkshake with two straws?
Lola: Aw, that’s so cu-
MC: [Puts both straws in their mouth] Watch how fucking fast I can drink this.