Incorrect Iron Widow Quotes

Things that the characters of Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao definitely said (and other shitposts) [SUBMISSIONS VERY WELCOME]

[incorrectironwidowquotes]

Mod note

This attempt to express my love of a book via shitposts took off a bit more than I was expecting, but I'm thrilled that y'all are entertained 😅 I have the garbage taste of someone who has spent too much of their life on the internet, hence a lot of my quote sourcing, so I welcome any submissions, requests, etc that you may have.

I regularly check the #iron widow tag for incorrect quote-type posts to reblog, but feel free to tag me (or send me a link) if there's an IIWQ-worthy post floating around that I missed.

[incorrectironwidowquotes]

Shimin: Nice hands on a boy are so important

[incorrectironwidowquotes]

Zetian: I'll fucking fIGHT YOU

Zetian: DO YOU WANT THAT?

Shimin: Yes as long as I get to see you

(insp)

[nitewrighter]

Concept: Zetian saying, “Zetian OUT” and spreading her arms straight out in a T-pose and Li Shimin and Yizhi coming behind her, lifting her up by her outstretched arms Marilyn Monroe-style and carrying her off. 

[talysalankil]

may i also suggest

[incorrectironwidowquotes]

Yizhi, to Shimin: You deserve forehead kisses, someone who adores the fuck out of you, and a vengeful copilot who will destroy anyone who's ever wronged you

[incorrectironwidowquotes]

Zetian, watching Yizhi meet Shimin for the first time: oh boy, there sure is a heck of a lot of sexual tension between you two

[loxare]

Yizhi and Zetian: Shimin is gone so we killed the emperor, both our families, landed a giant Chrysalis on the palace, took over the government and declared war on heaven

Sima Yi: Why??

Yizhi and Zetian: He's like, 85% of our impulse control

[crimeronan]

i'm having an Amazing time describing iron widow plot points to people on telegram.

[incorrectironwidowquotes]

Zetian: Hey I got an 11 kill streak

Gao Qiu: Oh cool what games do you play?

Zetian: Oh I don't play videogames

[incorrectironwidowquotes]

Shimin: You're in her DMs, I'm in her battle mind link while we wrestle each other for control of the Bird

[incorrectironwidowquotes]

the masculine urge to stare at a flask and "read" a book you've memorized off of its nonexistent label

[incorrectironwidowquotes]

Zetian, while double-murdering Yang Guang with her mind: You killed my Big Sister!

Yang Guang: How was I supposed to know there'd be consequences for my actions?

[incorrectironwidowquotes]

The army's "grand plan" for its female pilots: Some of you may die, but that's a sacrifice we're willing to make

[incorrectironwidowquotes]

Zetian: Tonight is a good night for the other guy, not me, to die

[screenshotsofdespair]

[incorrectironwidowquotes]

Zetian and Shimin after crawling out of the Vermillion Bird together for the first time

[winter-wise]

qieluo: i like this woman, she has rage issues

zetian, yelling: I DO NOT HAVE RAGE ISSUES

[lyalii]

It’s about drive it’s about power—

x