[incorrectjakeandamirquotes]

Amir: God, you’re so clingy

Jake: YOU came into MY bed?!

[incorrectjakeandamirquotes]

Amir: Pepsi tastes like soap

Jake: What kind of fucking soap do you use?

Amir: Pepsi

[incorrectjakeandamirquotes]

Jake: How long does your ideal hug last?

Amir: 38-45 minutes

Jake: That’s really impractical

Amir: You said ideal, not realistic

[spaceyjules-deactivated20180305]

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

[spaceyjules-deactivated20180305]

Isn’t it disgusting that 23 people just unfollowed me

[clarknokent]

Unfollow me too

[gothhabiba]

this goes double if you call paedophilia a disability. unfollow me twice

[closet-keys]

and if you call pedophilia an “orientation” or in any way compare it to being LGBP+ you can unfollow, delete your blog, and set yourself on fire. 

[peachypastel]

I just lost 50 followers.. bye

[katiemcgrxth]

clearing out the trash

[bway-grimes]

GO ON AND S M A S H THAT UNFOLLOW BUTTON

[moonedknights]

BUHBYE U McNASTIES

[bogleech]

I’ve seen this circulating forever and genuinely thought “no way do I have any of them following me” until this week when it turned out I had all these fuckin “MAP” (pedophile) followers sad to find out I’m an “anti” (normal person) Please leave and also please get guinea worm.

[incorrectjakeandamirquotes]

Amir: My mom would wake up early just to cut the crust off my sandwiches for lunch. She knew the crust was my favourite part. She hated me so much

[incorrectjakeandamirquotes]

Amir: (rapping) It’s Friday so have a Fry day while listening to Friday while you sit in the sun and fry, ‘kay?

Jake: That’s either the worst rap or... No, that’s just the worst rap

[incorrectjakeandamirquotes]

Amir: They’re called leggings because you put your le- You put your leg- They're called leggings because... Jake: Take your time

[incorrectjakeandamirquotes]

Amir: I may be an idiot but I’m not stupid

[incorrectjakeandamirquotes]

Firefighter: Sir, we’ve been here six times this month

Amir: Yeah but, um, one of those, I dialled 9-1-1 by mistake but I was too embarrassed to admit it so I set my apartment on fire

[whyamihere-exe]

Yup im talking about this…

NET NEUTRALITY!

WE NEED TO SPEAK UP!

JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE SAYS,

If we don’t speak up…

Bye bye, fandoms 👋

Bye bye, Memes 👋

Bye bye, fanart 👋

Bye bye, fanfics👋

SO PUT #netneutrality and reblog!

WE HAVE UNTIL DECEMBER 14TH!

[incorrectjakeandamirquotes]

Paul: You okay?

Jake: Yeah, why?

Paul: You have a sign that says '2 days without being annoyed'

Jake: (maintains eye-contact while changing sign to '0')

[incorrectjakeandamirquotes]

Amir: Oh please, you wouldn't hurt a fly

Jake: You're right. Because a fly is an innocent creature who never knowingly did anything to anybody. You, however, I would maim.

[incorrectjakeandamirquotes]

Amir: Jake, you're like an angel with no wings

Jake: So, like a person?

[incorrectjakeandamirquotes]

Amir: Do you think mosquitoes dare their friends to bite someone with bug spray on?

Jake: No, because mosquitoes don’t have the mind to be able to communicate in such complex ways

Amir: Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were the worlds top mosquito expert. Excuse me.

[yosoyboricua]

Stay safe.

[incorrectjakeandamirquotes]

Ricky: Amir, give me your bag of Jakes hair Amir: What? I don't have any (Jake pulls out a paper bag with 'Jakes hair' written on it) Amir: That's not mine (Jake flips the bag. The other side has 'Property of A. Blumenfeld' written on it) Amir: That's not me (Jake flips the bag again. The other side now has a picture of Amir on it with 'Oh yes it is!' written under it)

[sprmint-bkgsoda]

Please call Texas HIV Medication Program (800.255.1090) if you live in the Harvey flood zones and you lost your HIV meds.