incorrect jane eyre

jane eyre except it's incorrect quotes + chaotic musings. run by @sxnyarostova

[incorrectjaneeyre]

jane: i do not GAF about mr rochester he’s not even that cool

also jane: his absence during the summertime will draw all the joy out of even the most splendid day. i met him a week ago btw

[incorrectjaneeyre]

mr rochester, desperately: jane, would you still love me if i was a worm

jane: ...how is this relevant to the situation at hand

mr rochester: janet please just answer me!!!!

jane:

jane: mr rochester i am about to confront you about your attempt at bigamy i really don't think now is the time

[incorrectjaneeyre]

Jane: Hey, is something burning?

Rochester, flirting: No! I suspect it is my love for you, Jane 🩷

Jane: Mr Rochester

Jane: Mr Rochester you are on fire

[incorrectjaneeyre]

jane: would you rather get with a missionary, god-fearing statue or an emo bigamist?

jane: decisions, decisions

[incorrectjaneeyre]

mr rochester, post first proposal: jane, you know that i love you, right?

jane: of course. why do you ask? are you having second thoughts? is miss ingram--

mr rochester: NO. but... i think you need a makeover. how does a new wardrobe of silk and satin sound? ooh, and also all the rochester family jewels!!! how'd you like that, huh? and i can't forget the awesome eurosummer honeymoon we're going to have!!! i can't wait!

jane:

jane: oh, you're not kidding

[antoinettecoswayupdates]

‘would jane eyre be a swiftie’ she is listening to illegally downloaded nightcore on an mp3 player held together by tape and an unknown sticky substance that might be store brand cola. the one song she does like however is you belong with me bc it was in a vampire knight amv and she finds it relatable

[incorrectjaneeyre]

mr rochester, post-fire: i cannot believe i lost my poor jane... my darling fairy... my angel...

jane, coming in with a tea tray: ???

mr rochester, teary: sometimes i can still hear her voice

[incorrectjaneeyre]

mr rochester in full fortune-teller drag: hey single queen are you ready to find out everything about yourself????!!!

jane: uh…

mr rochester: mmm yes i see in you an avoidance to be anything but solitary and silly and scared

jane: i haven’t even said anything—

mr rochester: anyways what do you think of mr rochester? is he hot? is he sexy? don’t you think he’s SMOULDERING? and so passionate? and such a fun dude to talk to?

jane:

jane: sir, your robe is coming undone

[incorrectjaneeyre]

mr rochester after the first proposal, to the tune of “i’m looking for a man in finance”: i’m looking for a girl who’s a governess, with no money, who’s really short, and looks like a fairy

[incorrectjaneeyre]

jane, after rejecting st john: the path to inner peace begins with ten words... "if i were to marry you, it would kill me."

jane: i am so peaceful right now.

meanwhile...

mr rochester, about to yell across the moors: i am so not peaceful right now

[incorrectjaneeyre]

jane: mr rochester, is that legal?

mr rochester: when there aren't any interloping interjectors around, anything's legal!

[incorrectjaneeyre]

st john: so jane, will you marry me?

jane: ...as a friend? a fellow missionary?

st john: well yes but also no

jane:

[incorrectjaneeyre]

mr rochester

[incorrectjaneeyre]

mr rochester: when i'm sad, i like to eat my way through a box of chocolate comfits. i love bonbons. they're so crunchy. crunch.

[incorrectjaneeyre]

jane after properly seeing rochester for the first time: mr rochester kind of just looks like a square

jane: i mean, his face is square, his hair is swept angularly, his body is rectangular... is he just some elaborate shape?

mr rochester after properly seeing jane for the first time: omg governess... pale and pretty... <3

[incorrectjaneeyre]

mr rochester: jane, are you going to leave?

jane: take a guess.

mr rochester: no?

jane, with one foot out the window: take another guess

[incorrectjaneeyre]

mr rochester: my darling fairy-like janet, bad things keep happening to me and i don’t know why :(

jane: are you saying that you don’t know why you’re caught in this situation right now????

mr rochester: yeah :((((

jane: mr rochester, was it not your idea to marry me when you already had a wife??????? and engage in bigamy???? which is illegal????????

mr rochester: 🥺 but— but—

jane: yeah i thought so