Incorrect Jungle Cruise

Totally 100% accurate quotes from the characters of Jungle Cruise.

[incorrectjunglecruise]

Frank: Sam, get help! Lily passed out! Should I start mouth to mouth?

Sam: Is she breathing?

Frank: Um, yes.

Sam: ... then probably not.

Frank: Oh, right, no. Of course.

[incorrectjunglecruise]

Sam: Alright, I've got a box. We're gonna put everything we love in the box.

Frank: Can I put Promixa in the box?

Sam: No.

MacGregor: Can *I* put Proxima in the box?

Kenny: No.

Lily: Can I-

Sam: No one is putting Proxima in the box!

Proxima: *already sitting in the now smushed box and purring*

[incorrectjunglecruise]

MacGregor: You're finally getting in touch with your emotions. Letting your barriers down.

Frank: That's the problem. I'd like them back up, thank you.

[incorrectjunglecruise]

Lily: Am I going too far?

MacGregor: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

[incorrectjunglecruise]

I am nothing if not voluntarily stupid.

Frank

[incorrectjunglecruise]

MacGregor: When I first met you, I did not like you.

Frank: I know.

MacGregor: But then you and I spent some time together. We had a moment.

Frank: :D

MacGregor: It did not get better.

Frank, pouting: Then give me back my friendship bracelet.

MacGregor: No.

[incorrectjunglecruise]

Frank: You're mad at me.

Lily: I'm not mad, just disappointed.

Frank: Oh, come on! Everyone knows that's worse.

[incorrectjunglecruise]

Lily: I don't have time for whatever this is.

Frank: You have time to talk to me. It's in your planner.

Lily: You can't just go in my planner and write "FRANK TIME" in huge letters across Monday through Friday!

Frank: Sure I can. You're already scheduled for a long, warm hug.

[incorrectjunglecruise]

MacGregor: I get really nervous whenever Frank compliments me. I don't know what to say.

Frank: You look really hot today. ;)

MacGregor, panicking: Happy birthday!

[incorrectjunglecruise]

Well, my social anxiety is getting the better of me, so I’m taking a walk. Goodbye.

MacGregor

[incorrectjunglecruise]

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Lily*

Lily: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived, and lastly, if you could drag a comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

[incorrectjunglecruise]

Frank: Want to help me with my wedding?

Lily: You're getting married?

Frank: Yeah.

Lily: Okay, well, what do you want me to do?

Frank, getting down on one knee: Be my wife.

[incorrectjunglecruise]

MacGregor, admiring Frank from a distance: He could end my entire life and I'd thank him.

Sam: We'd thank him too.

[incorrectjunglecruise]

Lily: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Sam: Not if they consent to it.

Frank: Depends who you're stabbing.

MacGregor: YES?!?

[incorrectjunglecruise]

MacGregor: I don't know. We all just kind of thought you were dating.

Frank: Why would you think that?

MacGregor: You always finish each other's sentences.

Lily: That's not romance! That's wanting to have the last word!

[incorrectjunglecruise]

Lily: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.

Frank: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Lily: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright. Beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Frank: *shook*

[incorrectjunglecruise]

Lily: Please take off your hat when you're inside.

MacGregor: *takes off hat, revealing a slightly smaller hat*

MacGregor: I can do this 14 more times.