incorrect jurdan quotes

jude x cardan; no longer actively updating but submissions are still welcome!

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Cardan: You’re pretty cute when you’re nice.

Jude: What am I when I’m not nice?

Cardan: Hot as fuck.

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Recently found your blog and I love it I liked everything and no regrets!!

THANK YOU LOVE

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Not an ask but I LUV UR BLOG!!! I literally scrolled to the bottom of ur blog for like the fifth time.... n reliked everything...

AHHHH THANK YOU BB

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I’m so sorry for spamming you with likes but i adore every one of your posts!!

NEVER BE SORRY FOR THAT

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Jude: How much effort do I rate?

Cardan: For you, I’d break a light sweat.

Jude: Good. I need a favor. Help Vivi with Heather's concerns?

Cardan: You're becoming dangerous, Jude. It’s those doe eyes. Disappointing you is like choking the little mermaid with a bike chain.

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Jude, pointing to a high shelf: Can you get that for me?

Cardan: You need me in your life after all.

Jude: I could replace you with a step ladder

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Cardan: We've all got our weaknesses.

Cardan: Me, for instance: I'm tragically funny and good looking.

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Jude: I think of you every time I shower...

Cardan: Wow I'm flatt-

Jude: ...mostly because the French word for shower is douche.

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Jude: I’m gonna drag you through hell

Cardan: Does that mean we get to hold hands?

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Jude: Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don’t know…

Jude: I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering.

Jude: Occasionally, I’ll commit first degree murder.

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Cardan: Sometimes, I don’t even realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

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Jude: You piss me off so much.

Cardan: I literally just said "hello".

Jude: Yet here I am, boiling with rage.

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Cardan: Is the equipment secure?

Jude: Check.

Cardan: Sword stowed?

Jude: Check.

Cardan: Did you have breakfast?

Jude: What? That's not on the checklist.

Cardan: I added it because I care about you.

Jude: No, I did not have breakfast.

Cardan: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.

Jude: [pulling out a granola bar] Hey, there's little chocolate chips in this!

Cardan: Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know how to trick my girlfriend into eating her fiber.

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Cardan: if you kill a killer, the number of killer stays the same.

Jude: then kill all of them!

Cardan: ....

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Jude: Cardan, it's like three in the morning?

Cardan (on the phone): Jude, I did something bad. Something very bad...

Jude: ...Fine, put the corpse on ice, I'm on my way.

Cardan: What? No, it's not-- why would I--?

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Cardan: Jude, am I a bad boy?

Jude: Yeah, you're a bad boy.

Cardan, pulling Jude closer: So, how bad am I?

Jude: [remembers the time Cardan said he didn't want dessert and then ate hers]

Jude: To be honest you're a fucking nightmare.

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Jude: Hey, I was able to get you 20 gallons of blood for your Halloween party.

Cardan: Wow! Where’d you get 20 gallons of fake blood?

Jude: You wanted FAKE blood?

Cardan: