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Sweet Seals For You, Always
ellievsbear
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Discoholic 🪩
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will byers stan first human second
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
if i look back, i am lost
Monterey Bay Aquarium
tannertan36
Mike Driver
KIROKAZE
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Not today Justin
Andulka
h
Kiana Khansmith
RMH
seen from United States
seen from Oman
seen from Israel
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany
seen from Sri Lanka
seen from Canada
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seen from United States
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@incorrectlegendlorequotes
Graz’zt: I have information regarding the corruption magic that you need... But if you want it you’ll have to... do something for me.
Chara: Luc, you’re up!
Luc: Wha??
Ymir: Don’t worry guys, I got this!
Mason (Ymir’s player): I want to give him a signed copy of Makeout Paradise!
Parker (DM): The... The smut book you’re currently writing?
Mason: It’s a signed copy!
Parker: That... Doesn’t answer my question...
Parker: Yeah, so basically I’m really excited to play Alex as this fairly serious character. There’s a lot on his shoulders and I want to really focus on my ‘in-world’ emersion.Â
*Alex fighting the mini BBEG’s of the campaign who wiped years of memories from a fellow party member (who’s their son) and orchestrated the attacks against his home and found-family*
Alex: I’m gonna stab you in the face shitlips!
Alex: Parents like you make me glad I’m an orphan!
Alex: Stabbed your kneecap shitlips!
Alex: I killed your husband shitlips!
Alex: Laucian, get up here and help me double team your mom!
Alex: *Gets shot repeatedly, knocked and brought back up with 13HP* You can’t even kill one man shitlips!
Alex: You can’t even touch me shitlips!
Alex: *Gets shot and knocked again* shhittliipssss...
Shad: *Going through a crisis about the afterlife* What about you MolDovKaal? Who do you worship?
MolDovKaal: I worship Hephaestus, God of the Forge! He is a noble and mighty god!
Shad: What about you Azurite? You’re a fire genasi from the fire plane right?
Savannah (Azurite’s player) to Parker (DM): She’s never actually been to the Plane of Fire, does Azurite know anything about gods or anything?
Parker: Nah, you don’t know anything about that stuff.
Azurite: I know SO MUCH! First of all, Hephaestus is a front. Its all about the Fire Plane itself! He doesn’t actually do anything himself. He’s a total Fire Plane cuck. *Continues to go off*
Brayden (MoldovKaal’s player): I don’t want to fight you but MolDovKaal’s about to.
Courtney: we need to talk about your professionalism.
Parker: *standing on a desk* Those are some mighty brave words for someone standing in lava.
Courtney: *watching the news* Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today
Parker: *covered in ink* Maybe the squid was being a dick
Officer: What are your names?
Parker: Don’t tell him, Adam
Officer: *writing it down* Adam
Adam: Nice going, Parker
Officer:Â Adam and Parker
Courtney:Â Zach, can you pick up some milk?
Zach: Yeah it’s pretty easy
Courtney: I meant from the store
Zach: I would imagine it weighs the same there too, Court
Courtney: I have the sharpest memory. Name one time I forgot something
Zach: You left me in the parking lot last week
Courtney: I did that on purpose
Parker: Ten seconds is an eternity, Courtney! It’s a third of the way to Mars!
Courtney: Parker, we’ve talked about this, Thirty Seconds to Mars is the name of a band, not a fact.
Savannah: I regret getting you that blender.
Parker: *Drinking a pizza* Why?
*At Disneyland on the teacup ride*
Courtney and Savannah: *spinning calmly while talking*
Parker and Zach: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*
Courtney: If anyone has any questions, don’t hesitate to ask.
Zach: If a bear and a shark got into a fight, who would win?
Courtney: If anyone has any relevant questions, don’t hesitate to ask.
Parker: When have I ever done anything rash or irresponsible?
Courtney: I keep a list. It’s alphabetized.
Parker: In Scooby-Doo, secret tunnels are always behind shelves and shit.
Adam: Could we not base our decisions on what does and doesn’t happen in episodes of Scooby-Doo?
Courtney: *answers her phone* Hello?
Parker: It’s Parker
Courtney: What did he do this time?
Parker: No, it’s me, Parker
Courtney: What did you do this time?
Courtney: When I said I wanted something from the beach, I meant like a seashell
Parker : *Wrestling with an angry seagull*Â Well fucking say that then!
Savannah: Did you eat all my powdered donuts?
Parker: *mouth full of donuts* No.
Savannah: Then what’s that white powder on your jeans?
Parker: Cocaine.