Martyn: 🥺
Scott: What the fuck is 🥺? Use your words, I don’t speak bottom.
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@incorrectmeangills
Martyn: 🥺
Scott: What the fuck is 🥺? Use your words, I don’t speak bottom.
Jimmy: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter A.
Scott: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory.
Martyn: Fuck you.
.
(Based off yet another irl incident with me and my partner)
Martyn and Scott: *on call*
Scott: "Oh fuck off!" *in response to something on twitter*
Martyn: "LMA-" *his pc crashes*
.
Martyn: If I can't cause tiny bits of choas every day, I think my body will shut down.
.
Scott: If you don't respect the lgbtq community I'm gonna start identifying as a FUCKING PROBLEM!!!
.
Martyn: Why be bored when you can be taped to a ceiling?
Martyn: *sighs*
Scott: You bored?
Martyn: Yeah.
Scott: Wanna start drama for no reason?
Martyn: I thought you’d never ask.
.
Martyn: We wouldn’t last two minutes without Scott. Martyn: Martyn: Don’t tell them I said that.
Scott: Are you an apple?
Martyn: Why?
Scott: Because every time I bite into you, you're always hard~
Martyn: Good one, I'll go next. Are you a watermelon?
Scott: Why~?
Martyn: Cause you're so hard at first, but then you're actually soft and ends up leaking every time I bite~
Scott: Aww babe!!
.
Martyn: What are you drinking? Scott: Vodka. Martyn: Straight? Scott: No, gay. Why?
Scott: Heh, Martyn sneezes like a girl. Martyn: How about I pound you like boy? Martyn: That didn’t come out right.
Martyn: Look, Scott, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.
Scott: I love you
Martyn: (grinning cheekily) Thats gay
Scott: ....Thats it, I want a divorce
Martyn: HUSBAND WAIT NO-
canon
Scott: So my burn from yesterday was actually hurting really bad so I put a bandaid on it. Scott: Does it make any sense to put a bandaid on a wound that wasn’t even open? No, but I would rather feel good than make sense.
Martyn: I'm either going to die a free man or die trying!
Scott: What about just staying alive for once?
.
Martyn: WHO ATE MY BREAD?!
Martyn: I'M GOING TO FUCKING K-
Scott: I did?
Martyn: Kiss you and buy some more, you haven't been eating anything today Scott.
Martyn: *walks away*
Scott:
Scott: They're gone Jimmy.
Jimmy, coming out the closet with bread stuffed in their mouth: Twankh uh!
.
Martyn: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Scott: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Martyn: I said within reason, Scott. How about I murder that guy? Scott: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Martyn: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?