no wifi no life

/in this house we meme the pain away/ /beware of very vague spoilers(?)/ /this acc is dead like wwx except its not gonna come back to life in 13 years/

[incorrectmodaozushi]

to my lovely fierce corpses followers,

aight guys those are the last of the submissions. im sorry it took so long for me to post them all haha life happened but now that quarantine is happenin i have a shit ton of free time and i thought i'd finally release them all into the wild for u guys to enjoy uwu

this prolly gon be the last time i spam yalls' tls :') at this point ivve fully moved on from mdzs so i dont think i'll be posting anymore but i had fun making u guys happy with stupid text posts!! I hope u all take care and stay safe uwuwu dont die like wei wuxian pls he wouldnt want that neither would I pls care urselfs :'))))))

with love, mod wifi✌️💜

p.s. ty to all the people that submitted posts yall r hilarious and u kept the blog going when I couldnt u guys r the real mvps 😔✊💖

[mxtxdoodles]

(from this by @incorrectmodaozushi)

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Jiang Cheng: Roses are red, violets are blue

Jiang Cheng: Wei WuXian should be locked up in the zoo

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Jiang Cheng, already brain dead from seeing the Wangxian couple: Some of you have never witnessed two idiots taking two lifetimes to get together and when they do they're all over each other and you can't be angry because they finally got the hint but you're still irritated and it fucking shows.

Jin Ling:

Jin Ling: J-jiujiu, I was just asking if you're okay.

Jiang Cheng: No.

Lan Xichen, in the distance who just walked into the room where the couple was and accidentally read his brother's face: OH MY GOD LAN WANGJI I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

Jin Ling, exasperated: And it seems Hanguang-jun's brother isn't as well.

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Wei Wuxian: Lesbians. What is your wisdom

Jiang Yanli: world hard and cold... tiddy soft and warm.

Wen Qing: girl hot

A-Qing: watch naruto

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Lan Jingyi, outside Jin Ling's house, calling him: Hey, I'm outside open up.

Jin Ling: As a baby, I lost my mom to the blade and my father took an arrow-

Lan Jingyi: Open the fucking door-

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Wei Wuxian: wen qing wont tell you this but reattaching a limb isnt that hard, what's hard is getting it to stay after it's had a taste of freedom

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Yiling Patriarch!Wei Wuxian: I’m going to nickname my child lil Bitch 

Jiang Cheng: i see you’re passing on the family name

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Wei Wuxian: Way to go, Jiang Cheng! Way to make a mess of things!

Jiang Cheng: ME?!

Wei Wuxian: I KNOW! I just wanted to say it, for once, instead of hearing it!

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Kidnappers: We have your brother!

Jiang Cheng: I don't have a brother.

Kidnappers: Yes you do.

Jiang Cheng: [sighs] Fine, yes I do. What do you want?

Kidnappers: Please take him back.

Jiang Cheng: ... Aren't you supposed to ask for a ransom or something?

Kidnappers: No. We'll actually pay you if you come and take him away, he's so annoying, we can't stand it!

Jiang Cheng: [cackles and ends the call]

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Wei Wuxian: I can raise the dead. I'm a badass demonic cultivator that can rip you apart with his bare hands. And I...

Lan Wangji: [smiles]

Wei Wuxian: ...am soft

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Lan Qiren: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous; if it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Lan Jingyi: What if it bites me and it dies?

Lan Qiren: That means you’re poisonous. Honestly, Jingyi, learn to listen.

Wei Wuxian: What if it bites itself and I die?

Jin Ling: It’s voodoo.

Lan Sizhui: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Lan Qiren: That’s correlation, not causation.

Lan Wangji: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

Wei Wuxian: That’s kinky~

Lan Qiren: No.

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Lan Wangji: I’ve been dropping subtle hints that I like him

Wei Wuxian, walks into library pavilion:

Lan Wangji: Scram!

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Xue Yang: I really hate Xiao XingChen

Xue Yang: he died so good riddance

Xue Yang: he's such a loser lol

Xue Yang: totally not gonna miss him haha

Xue Yang, in tears, clutching the piece of candy in his palm: please fix his golden core I'm begging you I'll do anything I-

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Jiang Cheng: Here's a package from Lan Qiren

Wei Wuxian: What's in it?

Jiang Cheng: I don't know

Wei Wuxian: Oh it's heavy

Jiang Cheng: It's probably his disappointment in you.

[incorrectmodaozushi]

I love your icon! :D

thanks! :DD

[incorrectmodaozushi]

Wei Wuxian: Hey sexy

Lan Wangji: Hi

Wei Wuxian: Your sexy.

Lan Wangji: What about my sexy?

Wei Wuxian: It left. Went home. Ever since u decided to be a lil bitch. I know the difference between your and y’our. This is fucking Grindr not spelling bee central.