Micky, talking about Mike: You just gotta be patient with him. He won’t admit it, but he gets nervous when people approach him too suddenly.
Davy: So is this our band mate or a stray cat you’re describing?
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@incorrectmonkeesquotes
Micky, talking about Mike: You just gotta be patient with him. He won’t admit it, but he gets nervous when people approach him too suddenly.
Davy: So is this our band mate or a stray cat you’re describing?
Peter: Let me offer you some friendly advice—
Mike: I don’t want your advice.
Peter: Then consider it unfriendly advice, asshole.
Micky: Any idiot would know that.
Peter: I knew that!
Micky: See?
Mike: *holding a bottle* Huh, wonder if it’s whiskey or perfume.
Micky: *grabs it and chugs the whole bottle*
Micky: It’s perfume.
Micky: I bet if you look “self-absorbed” up in a dictionary, there’d be a picture of you.
Davy: My picture's in the dictionary?! Is it a good one? What am I wearing?!
Mike: I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two people in my entire life: Micky and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Micky.
Mike: Y’all wanna hear a riddle?
Davy, Micky and Peter: Sure.
Mike: A rooster lays an egg on a roof. Which way does it roll?
Peter: ... down?
Davy: Nah, that’s too simple. It’s either the left or right of the roof, and I say it’s the left.
Micky: Who cares which way it rolls man, it’d be scrambled eggs by then!
Mike: …
Mike: Roosters don’t lay eggs.
Mike: This is crazy, but I'm havin’ feelin’s again. Like some kinda 14-year-old kid or somethin’. You remember feelin’s, right?
Peter: … I have feelings every single day of my life.
Mike: You do?
Peter: Are you saying you don't have feelings?
Mike: You read my diary?!
Micky: In my defense, I didn’t know it was your diary at first. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.
Mike: Well... it’s a nice change of scenery.
Davy: We’re in a prison cell!
Mike: I was bein’ sarcastic.
Peter: I don’t know how else to tell you this, but… I’m in love with you.
Davy: That's wonderful, Peter. Especially considering the fact that I’ve known about this for over 40 years.
Mike: I ain’t got no fears.
Micky: What if you woke up one day and Davy was taller than you?
Mike: I just might have one fear.
Mike: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lyin’.
Micky: When I was married back then, you know what my wife often said to me?
Peter: Please stop sleeping with other people?
Mike: Well aren’t you sugar, spice and everythin’ nice?
Davy: Well aren’t you rudeness and sarcasm and everything… uh…
Mike: No, go on. You find somethin’ that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense then I’ll stop actin’ like an asshole.
Mike: Don’t y’all do anythin’ stupid ‘til I get back.
Micky: How could we? You're taking all the stupid with you.
Davy: Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Peter: Yes, it’s February 14th.
Davy: No, I mean do you have a Valentine?
Peter: Ummm… yes, it’s on my calendar!