Hey Hey!

might be things they might say. submits are open!

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Micky: You know you shouldn’t insult people who are bigger than you.

Davy: But then I wouldn’t get to insult anyone!

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Mike: *banging on the door* Pete! Come out!

Peter: I’m bisexual.

Mike: We support ya buddy but— I didn't mean it like that!

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Mike, to Peter: I have total faith in you, Pete.

Mike, to the others: There's ‘bout a 70% chance he’ll die.

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Micky: Wanna know how rock n’ roll I am?

Micky: *punches the wall*

Micky: …

Micky: Take me to a hospital!

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Davy, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea?

Mike: Coffee.

Davy: Wrong. It’s tea.

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Peter: I know what you’re going to say. Mike is our bandmate and I should be trying to get along with him.

Davy: No, he’s a prick and needs to be reminded of that.

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Peter: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Micky, talking about Mike: You just gotta be patient with him. He won’t admit it, but he gets nervous when people approach him too suddenly.

Davy: So is this our band mate or a stray cat you’re describing?

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Peter: Let me offer you some friendly advice—

Mike: I don’t want your advice.

Peter: Then consider it unfriendly advice, asshole.

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Micky: Any idiot would know that.

Peter: I knew that!

Micky: See?

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Mike: *holding a bottle* Huh, wonder if it’s whiskey or perfume.

Micky: *grabs it and chugs the whole bottle*

Micky: It’s perfume.

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Micky: I bet if you look “self-absorbed” up in a dictionary, there’d be a picture of you.

Davy: My picture's in the dictionary?! Is it a good one? What am I wearing?!

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Mike: I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two people in my entire life: Micky and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Micky.

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Mike: Y’all wanna hear a riddle?

Davy, Micky and Peter: Sure.

Mike: A rooster lays an egg on a roof. Which way does it roll?

Peter: ... down?

Davy: Nah, that’s too simple. It’s either the left or right of the roof, and I say it’s the left.

Micky: Who cares which way it rolls man, it’d be scrambled eggs by then!

Mike: …

Mike: Roosters don’t lay eggs.

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Mike: This is crazy, but I'm havin’ feelin’s again. Like some kinda 14-year-old kid or somethin’. You remember feelin’s, right?

Peter: … I have feelings every single day of my life.

Mike: You do?

Peter: Are you saying you don't have feelings?

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Mike: You read my diary?!

Micky: In my defense, I didn’t know it was your diary at first. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

[incorrectmonkeesquotes]

Mike: Well... it’s a nice change of scenery.

Davy: We’re in a prison cell!

Mike: I was bein’ sarcastic.