The Gods' Gift To Man

Things the Mother to Us All™ and others probably actually said. Maybe. Inactive; thanks for your submissions over the years!

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Issun, contacting Waka on the Celestial Plain: I ain’t call to talk to you, put ya dog on the phone

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Ninetails: *Is wearing a ballerina’s tutu and holding a basket full of flowers. As she skips and dances ballet, she throws flowers everywhere* My name is Amaterasu, and I use a salad fork. La-dee-da~🎶! I wash my face-

Blight: Where did you get the tutu?

Ninetails: Clothesline.

*Ninetails then exits the room throwing flowers, twirling and skipping all while giggling like a schoolgirl.*

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Waka to the other Tao Troopers, with Issun cupped in his hands: Are you ready for the tiny man of the hour?

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Kemu: Why are Oki and Samickle sitting with their backs to each other?

Kai: They had a fight.

Kemu: Then why are they holding hands?

Kai: They get sad when they fight.

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Issun: When I first met you, I did not like you.

Waka: I’m aware of that.

Issun: But then you and I had some time together.

Waka: Uh-huh.

Issun: It did not get better.

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After Sen and Ryo's Deaths:

Sen: I think we can be evil. As a treat.

Ryo: We?

Sen: We :)

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Kurow: I’m Kurow, who the hell are you?

Dr. Bluebeard: I must say, in my day we didn’t talk that way to our elders.

Kurow: Well, this is my day and we do, sir.

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Issun: I googled ‘I hate Waka’ and got over a thousand results.

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Yami: *offers you an evil retirement plan and extremely good evil workplace benefits*

Orochi: But do you offer evil dental?

Yami: Of course??

Yami: I said it was extremely good evil workplace benefits, and that is the bare minimum smh. All of my henchman have dental. If some “hero” comes in and punches one of your teeth out while you’re guarding my lair or any of its many nefarious secrets, I will ensure you get seen by one of the finest dentists money can buy.

Orochi: Excellent, I look forward to working with your evil team and being apart of your nefarious schemes and plots

Yami: Thank you. I’m overthrowing God.

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Waka: Pets love eating meat flavored cereal with no milk

Amaterasu: Dog food doesn't taste like meat tbh

Waka: It's not for you queen

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Amaterasu: Can we talk about the note you handed out to everybody?

Susano: It was a critical update

Amaterasu: It just says “still eternally and irrevocably in love with Kushi”

Susano: The team needed to know

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Issun: Has anyone told you how beautiful you are today?

Waka: No

Issun: Better luck tomorrow

Waka: wtf

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Orochi, after being freed: What a great nap. I feel totally disoriented and I’m frothing with hate.

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Issun: You known what, Waka?

Issun: You're a twink. I'm gonna go smoke some weed now.

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Waka: Didn’t you die?

Amaterasu: That was years ago dude. Things change.

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Ammy: it isn’t easy being a single mother of 13 children

Issun and Waka: you have us!

Ammy: 15 children

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Issun: What up I’m Issun, I’m 19, and I never fucking learn how to read