Incorrect Pandora Hearts Quotes

100% legit quotes from the PH cast (or well, pretty close to that). You can submit your own innacurate quotes if you want, too!  This blog is run by Mod Aya and Mod Reby.   

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Oz: Why are you like this?

Jack: I used too much No More Tears shampoo in 1973 and haven't felt a single emotion since.

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Gilbert: You have an unhealthy obsession with food.

Alice: Oh you mean the stuff that keeps us alive? Yes. Yes, I do.

Alice: Hello, my name is Alice and I am a food eater.

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Oz *on the phone*: Hey Dad, I know it's been a couple of years but-

Pizza Guy: Hey, this is Jeff's Pizza.

Oz: He gave me the wrong number...

Pizza Guy: I'm sorry dude.

Oz: ...Lemme get a large pizza.

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Alice: I refuse to go back to school after what my principal just said to me.

Oz: What did he say?

Alice: "You're expelled". Like, how dare he?

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Oz: You said that if you were ever going to do same sex experimentation, it was going to be with me.

Elliot: I have never said that to you.

Oz: It's been implied.

Elliot: By you.

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Everyone knows my role here is to look hot.

Lottie Baskerville

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Jack: Guess who!?

Oswald: It's either Jack or the cold, clammy hands of death.

Jack: It's Jack!

Oswald: Damn it.

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Gilbert: What you’re doing is wrong.

Alice: I’m not taking advice from you. You pronounce the ‘g’ in ‘lasagna.’

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Oz: You saved us, Elliot. I owe you my life.

Elliot: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not impressed.

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Xerxes: Oh please, you wouldn't hurt a fly!

Sharon: You're right! Because a fly is an innocent creature that never knowingly did anything to anybody. You, however, I would maim.

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Vincent: I know, I'm a real asset.

Lottie: You're only off by two letters.

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Elliot, even for you, this is a whole new mountain of stupid.

Leo, probably

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Zai: Look, Ada, in the end only you can decide what's right for you, and whatever decision it is, I'll stand by it.

Ada: Thanks, Dad.

Zai: Just remember, make the wrong decision, we'll never speak to you again and you'll burn in hell forever.

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Elliot: What's wrong with you?

Oz: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

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Xerxes: I consider myself a good judge of people and that’s why I don’t like none of ‘em.

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Oz: Guys, we need a plan.

Elliot: Punch everyone.

Oz: One that goes further than punching everyone.

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Gilbert: Is Oz around?

Alice: Yeah, he's upstairs.

Gilbert: Could you tell him I'm here?

Alice: Yeah, no problem. Be right back. *shouting upstairs* OZ! SEAWEED HAIR'S HERE!

Gilbert: Well, I could've done that.

Alice: Then what did you ask me for?