Incorrect Servamp Quotes

"What? I never said that... how exhausting." - Kuro, looking at this blog probably.

[incorrectservamp]

That's the problem. See, you don't think anybody's lying. I think everybody's lying. It's a gift.

Sakuya

[incorrectservamp]

Hugh: Today you will have the honor of playing one of the greatest games ever invented. A game of skill, agility, cunning. A game with one simple rule. Dodge.

Lily: Big brother, we're being shot at!

[incorrectservamp]

Tetsu: What’s the plan?

Misono: Don’t die.

Tetsu: That’s it?

Misono: Yeah, pretty much.

Tetsu: Well, at least it ain’t complicated.

[incorrectservamp]

Jeje: Can I shoot him?

Mikuni: Not in public.

[incorrectservamp]

[in the chip aisle at Walmart]

Mahiru: [minding his own business, looking for tortilla chips]

Mahiru: [finds tortilla chips]

Licht, to Hyde: See, he knows what he's here for. He knows what he's doing. Be more like him. MAKE A DECISION, SHIT RAT.

[incorrectservamp]

Takuto: New Year, new me.

Jun: You can't say that.

Takuto: Why not?

Jun: You're three. You're already new.

[incorrectservamp]

Mahiru: Pass out napkins.

Kuro: That's not my job.

Mahiru: What is your job?

Kuro: Being unemployed.

[incorrectservamp]

Tsurugi: My New Year's resolution is to continue being a cutie fuckin' patootie.

Yumikage: My New Year's resolution is to give up alcohol. Oops, I meant: My new Year's resolution is to give up. Alcohol!

Niccolò: My New Year's resolution is to spend less time interacting with people and more time with my phone. Doing pretty well so far.

Misono: My New Year's resolution is to be taller.

Kuro: My New Year's resolution is to stop having thoughts.

Lawless: I'm not gonna make any New Year's resolutions because I'm perfect, but I'm gonna recommend that a lot of you make New Year's resolutions to be nicer to me.

[incorrectservamp]

Gil: Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?

Ray: Are you insinuating that regular pine needles aren’t spicy???

Gil: Regular pine needles are regular.

Ray: Not by rosemary standards.

Gil: …Have you eaten pine needles?

Ray: We’ve been friends for like four hundred years, do you seriously have to ask if I’ve eaten pine needles or not?

Gil: I mean, I’m pretty sure you have, but I don’t want to assume.

Ray: Of course I’ve eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best.

Gil: Are they…spicy?

Ray: You know, I’d love to tell you but I’m pretty unclear about what marks the difference between “spice” and “strong-tasting plant that isn’t considered a spice”.

Gil: I’ll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out.

Ray: Okay, but it only counts if they’re PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree.

Gil: I’m going to eat every needle-like leaf I see.

Ray: Please Don’t Do That.

Gil: Needle-Like Leaf Roulette!

[incorrectservamp]

I told my nephew, 'Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field’. He said, ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’ I said, ‘That means it’s pasture bedtime’.

Uncle Tooru

[incorrectservamp]

My brother referred to me as ‘The Six Dwarfs’ because I’m ‘everything except happy’ and I’m not even mad. That was amazing.

Kuro, probably

[incorrectservamp]

That’s the true spirit of Christmas: people being helped by people other than me.

Kuro

[incorrectservamp]

Licht: [does something defiant]

Crantz: You're being difficult.

Licht: I'm not difficult. I'm right.

[incorrectservamp]

Crantz: You hit your Servamp in the face!

Licht: It's his fault.

Crantz: Why?

Licht: He didn't duck.

[incorrectservamp]

Freya: World End, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room in the pantry.

Ildio: No—no, thank you.

Niccolò: Well, Wrath, you did it. He’s finally full.

[incorrectservamp]

Jeje: You’re up to something.

Mikuni: What? No, I’m not.

Jeje: Yes, you are. You’re always up to something.

[incorrectservamp]

Misono: Hey, Watanuki, when you said the deal with Santa Claus you meant—?

Sakuya: That he doesn’t exist.

Misono: Right.

Sakuya: [walks away]

Misono: [eyes widen in shock at the news]