Claire: I totally respect your decision, but I've already made my own decision.
Morgan: That's literally the opposite of respecting my decision.
NASA
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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if i look back, i am lost

#extradirty
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occasionally subtle

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@incorrecttgdquotes
Claire: I totally respect your decision, but I've already made my own decision.
Morgan: That's literally the opposite of respecting my decision.
Lea: Do you care if I take the skin off the furby? I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh he can begin on his path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us.
Lea: Also I want to softhack all his circuits.
Shaun: I literally don’t care what you do just never never say anything that frightening again.
Jared: My good looks are ruining people’s lives.
Claire: I just found out I'm the most boring person on Earth.
Morgan: Did something happen to Shaun?
Claire: Permission to take a selfie of the two of us, Ma'am ?
Audrey: Denied.
Claire, snapping a photo: Too late!
Shaun: I put us all in a rank system so you would all care about your jobs.
Claire: What's my rank?
Shaun: Second after me.
Jared: Wait, what's my rank?
Shaun: Third.
Jared: What!? Why am I third?
Shaun: Too volatile.
Jared: Bull crap! This is bull crap!!
Shaun: Alex, you're fourth.
Morgan: So what am I?
Shaun: Fifth.
Morgan: Fifth? That's last! Why in the heck would I be last?!
Shaun: Too much lip and very sassy.
Shaun: What a wonderful day. Quick reminder: We are dying.
Morgan: Claire, you're in denial.
Claire: I'm comfortable with that.
Andrews: You know, you were right.
Shaun: About what, specifically? Cause I'm right about a lot of things.
Lea: What if we pronounced female like tamale?
Carly: We are so gonna tear it up tonight!
Shaun: That’s slang, right?
Carly: Right.
Shaun: Listen, I hate to cut short a meeting with my third and fifth favorite people, but I have a date with my first favorite person.
Jared: Wait, am I third and fifth?
Claire: You are in no one's top three.
Jared: If i die, my funeral's gonna be the biggest party and you're all invited.
Claire: If?
Shaun: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and he might not even die.
Claire: Thanks for coming, Alex. I could really use your help with this.
Alex: Pass.
Claire: You came all this way just to pass on helping me?
Alex: Yeah, I wanted to see your face when I said no.
Claire: ...
Alex: Totally worth it.
Lea: Do you think I talk to much?
Shaun: You told me a 40 minute story about coffee.
Lea: Which was exactly the right length.
Shaun: That was my sarcastic voice.
Morgan: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.
Shaun: I’ve been told that.
Lea: Back off, grandp.
Glassman: That’s not an insult, okay? Grandpas are the backbone of this country.