You were looking at your phone, you dip! What were you tweeting, hashtag there’s a freaking ghost after us?
Theo to Steve, probably. (Submitted by gay-rainbow-fish)
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You were looking at your phone, you dip! What were you tweeting, hashtag there’s a freaking ghost after us?
Theo to Steve, probably. (Submitted by gay-rainbow-fish)
Shirley: If I wrote a book with this many problems, I'd kill myself.
Steve: Do you have a question Shirley?
Shirley: Yes I have a lot of questions. Number one: How dare you?
Submitted by anonymous.
This is it for me, guys. Farewell. At least I died how I lived. Drunk and anxious.
Theo Crain, probably.
Luke: So, I’m going to grab a healthy breakfast.
Nellie: Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?
Luke: Breakfast burrito, but yeah.
Trish: [kisses Theo]
Theo: What is this?
Trish: Affection.
Theo: Disgusting.
Theo:
Theo: Do it again.
People are always like ‘are you a morning person or a night person’ and I’m just like buddy I’m barely even a person.
Luke Crain, probably.
Shirley: Do you wanna hang out this weekend?
Theo: Generic excuse.
Shirley: Did you just say “generic excuse”?
Theo: Joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink.
Nellie: My kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability.
Olivia: Are we really going to let Luke keep Abigail?
Hugh: We kept Theo.
Olivia: Isn’t there someone else you can torture?
Poppy: Probably, but I choose you.
Steve: You should have done this earlier.
Theo: In my defense, I forgot.
Get you a man who can’t do either. My time to shine.
Steve Crain, probably.
I do not appreciate being paraphrased, Shirl. I choose my words VERY deliberately.
Theo Crain, probably.
Poppy: I have an idea.
Olivia: No murder.
Poppy: I no longer have an idea.
Arthur: Are you nervous?
Nellie: Yes.
Arthur: Is this your first time?
Nellie: No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.
Nellie, at the McDonalds drive thru: Hey yeah can I get one McWill to live please
Luke, through the speaker: Nellie we’ve talked about this.
Submitted by f1zzy-izzy
Nellie: You read my diary?
Steve: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.