Nicky and His Twins: the Trial
People seem to want more of Nicky and the twins, so I figured I would deliver.
Aaron does not ask Andrew to speak at his trial. His defense attorney pressed him to ask because otherwise, the case is all unsubstantiated.
Aaron will not ask. Andrew already said he didn’t want to. Aaron is not about to press him.
Nicky, of course, is freaking out. He’s the only one (other than perhaps Katelyn) that Aaron has kept updated at all.
“You have to ask Andrew. Are you crazy? Do you want to go to prison?”
He basically gets told to fuck off. But Nicky isn’t the type to leave well enough alone— let alone ‘not well at all’ alone.
Andrew is understandably pissed that Aaron hasn’t told him anything. He doesn’t say anything, promises Nicky nothing. But he shows up. Of course he does.
The trial is the most godawful thing Nicky has ever witnessed. It’s almost worse than seeing Aaron cling to Andrew in that bloody bedroom. Because Nicky sees it all again. And worse. Oh, God— he lives it as Andrew relives it.
Nicky cries through the trial. He can’t stop himself. Andrew doesn’t look at him. He doesn’t look at anyone. Except once. One time, Nicky sees his gaze flicker and rest on Aaron, whose head is bowed. His hands clasped in front of him. Nicky sees his shoulders shaking.
The twins do not talk on the way home. Nobody talks. Neil drives. No one else can.
Aaron stops going to Wednesday therapy sessions with Andrew. He doesn’t tell Nicky why— he just avoids him altogether. He avoids everyone altogether. Even Matt rarely sees him.
Andrew doesn’t go after him. He just… lets Aaron be.
Nicky can’t stand it. They’ve come so far to let it all go now, after everything. After what Andrew has confessed.
At first, Nicky is mad at Aaron on Andrew’s behalf. How can Aaron abandon Andrew knowing what they now know?
Then Nicky remembers. Remembers that quiet, withdrawn little boy with bruises covering his skin like spots.
He wants to ask Neil to help him. To fix them. But the time for Neil’s interference has come and gone. He has done all he can do for the twins— because he is limited by loving Andrew and not Aaron.
Nicky does not have that excuse. He loves both of them. He understands both of them. He knows he can’t fix them: they have to do that. But he can damn well try to get them on track.
“Talk to Aaron,” he says, one day after practice. Andrew shoots him a blank look, but Nicky sees the muscle in his jaw flutter.
“I’ve said all I have to say.”
He’s angry. God, of course he is. But Nicky knows it’s out of hurt— and out of anyone, Nicky knows Aaron the best.
“He’s not going to be the one to talk to you. He’s not… look, when he was a kid, Aunt Tilda used to pinch him when he would speak. She always shushed him. She used to say him talking gave her headaches. That’s all he knows, Andrew. Is how to shut up when someone is hurting. How to withdraw. Like— like his presence somehow makes everything worse.”
Andrew says nothing, but his face twitches. Such small tells that Nicky is only started to understand.
“He’s not talking to Katelyn even.”
Andrew is selfishly pleased by this. Nicky knows he would be.
“I know it’s not fair to ask you— but please try.”
Andrew again, says nothing. He might as well be a statue.
“He loves you too, you know.” Nicky says it, because the twins probably never will. But it’s the truth.
The next day, Andrew waits outside of Aaron’s classroom. Aaron looks surprised to see him.
He doesn’t wait to see if Aaron will obey. He knows he will.
They round a corner into an empty Parkin lot and Andrew turns on Aaron, his mouth thin.
“I showed you mine, you show me yours.”
“What?” Aaron doesn’t know what the hell hes talking about and Andrew halfway wants to throttle him. He moves into Aaron’s space and his twin moves back, but not before Andrew’s hand snakes out and grasps his hair, holding him in place.
Aaron flinches but doesn’t try to pull away. Aaron always used to flinch when anybody moved to touch him. It sparks a small flare of rage in Andrew. Aaron is the one person he would never, ever hurt. Aaron should not fear him. But Andrew also remembers seeing Aaron for the first time, flinching hard when one of the juvie guards moved to fast to usher him in. The ways Aaron’s face took on a shameful color, like he was embarrassed by his reaction. Andrew remembers the bruises coloring Aaron’s face— his own face, on someone else.
“You do not get to freeze me out,” Andrew says in a dark voice.
“I’m not.” Aaron’s heart hammers. Looking at Andrew hurts. It hurts so bad that he wants to gasp from the pain. He can still feel the warm stickiness of Drake’s blood on his skin. That was the last time Andrew touched him. The first time Andrew touched him at all. Bile rises high. Shame and fury and so much pain.
Aaron doesn’t mean to say it. It’s not what he wanted to say. It’s stupid to allay anything at all.
“I’m not sorry about Drake. But I’m sorry about Cass. If I— ruined that or whatever.” Aaron is no good with words. He never has been.
“Cass can go fuck herself.” Casual, harsh words that Andrew can barely spit out.
The twins are close enough to share breath. Andrew releases Aaron suddenly and steps back.
“I don’t want to—“ Aaron is struggling. He can’t find the stupid fucking words. “I don’t want to make you take me to those sessions anymore. If you want to go alone, I don’t want to… ruin that too.”
Ruin. Andrew stares at him. A little bit of understanding linking them now.
“Come or don’t,” Andrew says. “But you don’t get to hear all of my truths without giving me yours.”
He walks away, leaving Aaron staring after him.
The next week, they go to sessions together. This time, Aaron talks.
Nicky can’t help it. He cries when Neil tells him. Neil lets him hug him tight.
The twins aren’t perfect. But they’re trying to be better.
Nicky takes them both out for ice cream that night— just them. The twins both pretend they don’t know why, that they’re just in it for free food, but sitting together… it feels a lot like family to Nicky.
