Alastor: when you’ve been an assassin for as long as I have, you develop pretty thick skin
Chloe: I don’t think green is the best color on you
Alastor: Green brings out mY EYES, YOU PRICK
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@incorrectwwfh
Alastor: when you’ve been an assassin for as long as I have, you develop pretty thick skin
Chloe: I don’t think green is the best color on you
Alastor: Green brings out mY EYES, YOU PRICK
Chloe: Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate for once in it’s life
Lilika, tears in her eyes: please go to sleep it’s three am
Chloe: I’m having girl problems
Alastor: you-like-her problems, or her-body-wont-fit-in-the-trunk-of-your-car problems?
Chloe: I like her problems
Alastor: Shame. I could’ve helped with the first one.
The queen: Alice, we need to have a word
Alastor: you’re going to fire me, aren’t you?
The queen: Quite the opposite, actually
Alastor: …I’m going to fire you?
Chloe: You can’t make everyone like you. You’re not Lilika
Alastor: Not everyone likes Lilika
Chloe: Who doesn’t?
Alastor: what?
Chloe: Names, now. Give me their names
Lilika: Liking girls is NOT my only personality trait! I am also sad
*at 3 am*
Alastor: Why are any of us here, really?
Zoo security guard: I’m asking about you, specifically
Alastor to Chloe: Okay, I dare you to-
Lilika: Chloe’s not allowed to accept dares
Chloe: apparently I have no regard for my personal safety
Alastor: “Go to hell” is so abstract Alastor: “Get trapped in a porta-potty for 67 months”- Now that’s specific. That’s possible. That’s terrifying.
Lilika: that’s what feminism is, girls supporting girls
Preserver 1: that’s what feminism is?
Lilika: That and pushing men down the stairs going “I’m the boss now!”
Lilika: That’s how I got this job
*right before Alastor gets captured*
Chloe: Look, I think it’s only fair that I warn you I’m practiced in the ancient art of origami
Alastor: Paper folding?
Chloe: …I was hoping you wouldn’t know what that is
Chloe: I met a dumbass today. Awful
Alastor: You looked in a mirror?
Chloe: Someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful
Lilika: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you’ll be fined
Alastor: Heck
Lilika: You’re on thin fucking ice
Lilika: oh no
The queen: Come on Alice! How many times do I have to apologize?
Alastor: once!
The queen: ...no.
Chloe: are you seeing anyone?
Alastor: no, why?
Chloe: I guess I just thought you should be seeing like, a therapist or something
Lilika: I’ve got to get something off my chest
Chloe, fingers crossed: is it your shirt please be your shirt
Lilika: What are we gonna do?
Alastor: I don’t know, maybe pizza?
Lilika:
Lilika: About the king, Alastor.