Incorrect Whirlwind for Hire quotes

[incorrectwwfh]

Alastor: when you’ve been an assassin for as long as I have, you develop pretty thick skin

Chloe: I don’t think green is the best color on you

Alastor: Green brings out mY EYES, YOU PRICK

[incorrectwwfh]

Chloe: Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate for once in it’s life

Lilika, tears in her eyes: please go to sleep it’s three am

[incorrectwwfh]

Chloe: I’m having girl problems

Alastor: you-like-her problems, or her-body-wont-fit-in-the-trunk-of-your-car problems?

Chloe: I like her problems

Alastor: Shame. I could’ve helped with the first one.

[incorrectwwfh]

The queen: Alice, we need to have a word

Alastor: you’re going to fire me, aren’t you?

The queen: Quite the opposite, actually

Alastor: …I’m going to fire you?

[incorrectwwfh]

Chloe: You can’t make everyone like you. You’re not Lilika

Alastor: Not everyone likes Lilika

Chloe: Who doesn’t?

Alastor: what?

Chloe: Names, now. Give me their names

[incorrectwwfh]

Lilika: Liking girls is NOT my only personality trait! I am also sad

[incorrectwwfh]

*at 3 am*

Alastor: Why are any of us here, really?

Zoo security guard: I’m asking about you, specifically

[incorrectwwfh]

Alastor to Chloe: Okay, I dare you to-

Lilika: Chloe’s not allowed to accept dares

Chloe: apparently I have no regard for my personal safety

[incorrectwwfh]

Alastor: “Go to hell” is so abstract Alastor: “Get trapped in a porta-potty for 67 months”- Now that’s specific. That’s possible. That’s terrifying.

[incorrectwwfh]

Lilika: that’s what feminism is, girls supporting girls

Preserver 1: that’s what feminism is?

Lilika: That and pushing men down the stairs going “I’m the boss now!”

Lilika: That’s how I got this job

[incorrectwwfh]

*right before Alastor gets captured*

Chloe: Look, I think it’s only fair that I warn you I’m practiced in the ancient art of origami

Alastor: Paper folding?

Chloe: …I was hoping you wouldn’t know what that is

[incorrectwwfh]

Chloe: I met a dumbass today. Awful

Alastor: You looked in a mirror?

Chloe: Someday you will have to answer for your actions and god may not be so merciful

[incorrectwwfh]

Lilika: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you’ll be fined

Alastor: Heck

Lilika: You’re on thin fucking ice

Lilika: oh no

[incorrectwwfh]

The queen: Come on Alice! How many times do I have to apologize?

Alastor: once!

The queen: ...no.

[incorrectwwfh]

Chloe: are you seeing anyone?

Alastor: no, why?

Chloe: I guess I just thought you should be seeing like, a therapist or something

[incorrectwwfh]

Lilika: I’ve got to get something off my chest

Chloe, fingers crossed: is it your shirt please be your shirt

[incorrectwwfh]

Lilika: What are we gonna do?

Alastor: I don’t know, maybe pizza?

Lilika:

Lilika: About the king, Alastor.