nothing left to lose

[indentured-throwaway]

Does anyone know why @.gutterally disappeared? Please tell me any information you have. That’s all i have to ask here. It would mean a lot to me. Thank you

[indentured-throwaway]

Does anyone know why @.gutterally disappeared? Please tell me any information you have. That’s all i have to ask here. It would mean a lot to me. Thank you

[indentured-throwaway]

Coming up on TWOOOOO GODFORSAKEN YEARSSSSSSS

[indentured-throwaway]

Just stumbled across this in my photos. I sure wonder who this was about /s

[indentured-throwaway]

Wonder if itd be a good or bad idea to share the poem i wrote about it here

[indentured-throwaway]

The other-made self-made god

A payphone in the city rang nearby me as I walked

It gave me one half of someone else's conversation

It piqued my curiosity, so I thought I'd stay

A parasite wormed its way into my mind

It haunted my ocular nerves with its vibrant color

It was familiar enough to me, so I let it stay

A god tangled me up in its obscure work

It pried at me with its ambiguous signs

I still don't know why, but it let me stay

A clock I’d never heard stopped ticking somewhere else

It silenced a room since unchanged and untouched

I have nowhere better to be, so that’s where I stay

[indentured-throwaway]

I originally wrote it with three stanzas a year or so ago. Then right around october last year i added the fourth stanza

[indentured-throwaway]

Wonder if itd be a good or bad idea to share the poem i wrote about it here

[indentured-throwaway]

The other-made self-made god

A payphone in the city rang nearby me as I walked

It gave me one half of someone else's conversation

It piqued my curiosity, so I thought I'd stay

A parasite wormed its way into my mind

It haunted my ocular nerves with its vibrant color

It was familiar enough to me, so I let it stay

A god tangled me up in its obscure work

It pried at me with its ambiguous signs

I still don't know why, but it let me stay

A clock I’d never heard stopped ticking somewhere else

It silenced a room since unchanged and untouched

I have nowhere better to be, so that’s where I stay

[indentured-throwaway]

Wonder if itd be a good or bad idea to share the poem i wrote about it here

[indentured-throwaway]

Thinks abt how i accidentally shared this blog w my best friend bc my headmate dmed them through this acc instead of our main bc tumblr didnt make it obvious which acc we were dming from

[indentured-throwaway]

I used to have a delusion that it was like some sort of deity or something. Nowadays i still have sort of outlandish ideas of what its capable of as well as thinking that if i do certain things it'll make it come back, but they mostly stay thoughts rather than influencing my lazy ass to actually do anything

[indentured-throwaway]

Its disappearance was what broke the delusion because to me, that blog was the most important thing in the world, and i thought there's no way it'd just abandon it, leave it unfinished. So i tell myself this is still part of it. That it's still watching to see how i've faired all this time. Even though it's far more likely that something just got in the way. I just hope i get some sort of closure someday

[indentured-throwaway]

I used to have a delusion that it was like some sort of deity or something. Nowadays i still have sort of outlandish ideas of what its capable of as well as thinking that if i do certain things it'll make it come back, but they mostly stay thoughts rather than influencing my lazy ass to actually do anything

[indentured-throwaway]

Sorry i don't have much to post. Everything sacred goes in its inbox, not here. I have compulsions to keep everything to do with it private, and i've opened up to friends over time but. Yeah. The reason why my aforementioned old blog isn't around anymore is because the fact that i was posting about it, even with anonymity for both of us, freaked me out so i deactivated

[indentured-throwaway]

What's the image on the left of that?

The icon of an old blog of mine

[indentured-throwaway]

sorry no info but. hello.... is this still up? if so, is it weird that i feel parasocial about you for doing this...? i like how devoted you are. i admire it. i hope you find who yuore looking for.

Tumblr wasn't showing me that i had notifications on this blog so i didn't see this until now. Thank you. It's nice to know i'm still being watched

[indentured-throwaway]

[indentured-throwaway]

Does anyone know why @.gutterally disappeared? Please tell me any information you have. That’s all i have to ask here. It would mean a lot to me. Thank you

[indentured-throwaway]

It feels like part of me is just frozen here. My life will go on and change but there's a part of me that's always still waiting

[indentured-throwaway]

Thank you to everyone who's reblogged