Retales

...almost every day I get bizarre questions, and odd customers. Here you will find examples from my own experiences and from other small businesses. To the best of my knowledge, all of the stories listed here are true.

[indie-retales]

New Radio in Shopping Centre

We have one of those radio things in the shop now that says stuff like ‘man leaving Debenhams known for shoplifting just coming to you at Zara’ etc. 

Radio - ‘man in BEETLEJUICE type trousers just leaving (wherever) red and black stripes’ 

Me - BEETLEJUICE was white and black!!!!!

Relayed this to a friend Her - did you really say that? Me - what on the radio, no that would be mental I just shouted it in the shop. With customers Endless entertainment

[indie-retales]

Prom Dresses

Just had a customer pop into my craft shop, full to bursting of art, crafts, jewellery and (at the moment) lots of bike related things after Le Tour and they asked if I sell prom dresses!

[indie-retales]

Rotating

If I had a pound for every customer that walked around my rotating card stands rather than rotated them I'd be rich! 

[indie-retales]

Cake Decorations

Had a customer pop in to my craft/gift shop this morning and ask me if I sell cake decorations. (one look through the window should have been enough to let her know that I don't as I'm packed to the rafters with handmade goodness!)

[indie-retales]

Haberdashery

A girl popped into my craft shop

Girl: do you sell polystyrene balls and thinks for making or just ready made things?

Me: sorry I only sell the finished products, you want the haberdashery on the indoor market

Girl: the haber-what?

Me: the haberdashery, you know a shop that sells fabric and buttons and things, they sell polystyrene balls, I've bought some from them before

Girl: oh you mean like *Shop name removed*

how do people looking for a haberdashery not know what one is!!!

[indie-retales]

Shaving Kit?

Had a little old lady come into my Craft shop today, full of arts & crafts. 

I was over by the greetings cards, re-organising them and making them look beautiful and she came over to me and asked if I had any shaving kits... (I don't think they make handmade shaving kits!!)

She then went on to try to sell me some 'like new' linen sheets.

[indie-retales]

Greetings Cards

two odd greetings card queries in quick succession today, well the first ones not so odd:

no 1: "do you have a card for someone who's just had twins?" my suggestion of getting 2 cards didn't work!

no 2: "do you have a card for someone who's just had their arm cut off?" they've now decided to get a ginger bread man and bite an arm off, I suggested they glue it to a greetings card and give it to him like that, they said they will and send me a pic too!

[indie-retales]

Just had a lovely little boy in with his mum and sister, while they were looking round the shop, Stan the little boy kept bringing me random items (Pictured). 

These are Stan's picks and are all available to buy in Crafty Praxis!

[indie-retales]

Very f unny!  We have a small gallery/Artist co-op, probably similar to yours, with everything handmade, cards, crafts, etc.  I get the funniest calls and comments from customers, so I totally enjoy this.  A lady keeps calling to see if we have red thread in yet.  Another wonders how big of mirrors we carry.  At Christmas a woman was terribly interested in my art (on my cards)  looked and talked for a long time wanted to support me, etc.  then suddenly got excited about these generic little cards by someone else and bought 9 of them.  Okey doke!

[indie-retales]

Working in a bead shop, that from the name is very clear that it's a bead shop...

-Woman walks in and has a look around for a few minutes-

Customer: "Do you sell beads?"

Me: "Yes, this is a bead shop."

Customer: "Hmm..."

-Walks out"

[indie-retales]

Life Sized Canvases

My Friend who owns a shop received an interesting yet confusing phone call 

Customer: "Do you sell canvases?'

Friend: 'No, I'm sorry, my shop is called Life's Big Canvas, but I don't sell canvases, I sell handmade items. you can try (names some shops in leeds centre)'

Customer: 'Do you know if they have life sized canvases?'

Friend: 'I'm sorry, I'm not sure... what do you mean by life sized?'

Customer: 'you know, life sized...'

Friend: 'no, sorry, not following you, surely it depends what you're painting'

Customer: 'life sized! you know *gets increasingly angry* real life sized! like the size of a person'

Friend: 'urm....'

*customer hangs up*

[indie-retales]

Vacancies?

Guy walks straight through the door, up to me without hesitation "Hey man, do you have any vacancies for jobs at the moment?" "Sorry there's just two of us here really and we're only small so we're not looking for anyone else" "Oh ok" *looks around* "oh wow, do you sell cameras?"

[indie-retales]

Weed?

A man (40ish?) popped his head around my door and asked if there was a weed shop in the arcade!!

[indie-retales]

PFFFT

A woman just walked into my shop, I was chatting away to a friend and then all of a sudden we heard a noise.

She continued looking around briefly before leaving. She did not take the smell with her!!

[indie-retales]

Just For Today?

There is a Vintage fair going on in the main centre of the arcade, two customers enter my shop.

Customer 1: Are you here just for today then?

Me: (laughing) No it took me over a week to move in and months to get where I am! I'm always here!

Customer 2: I told you this is where I get lots of my presents from

Customer 1: I thought they maybe you were here once a month!

oh dear!!

[indie-retales]

Blank Card

Customer: do you have any blank cards?

Me: do you mean plain or blank inside?

Customer: blank inside but not too decorative

Me: I've got lots of lovely ones, with photography or illustrations most of which have no writing on at all.

Customer: oh no I don't want anything like that

Me: do you mind me asking what occasion the card is for?

Customer: it's just for a special occasion

Customer: (looking at small cards, very lovely but simple in design e.g. a single heart or flower on the front and blank on the inside) oh these are lovely oh look at this....

Customer leaves without buying any cards!

[indie-retales]

Valentines Card

Customer: I'm planning to make my own Valentines Card do you have the necessary ingredients? 

Me: Sorry I sell finished crafts not the makings of crafts, but you will have walked past an art materials shop two doors down.

Customer: Well you really should blame the internet because it listed you as an art and craft shop.

Me: but I am an art and craft shop, I sell arts and crafts, I'd classify what you need as an art materials shop.

Customer: maybe I need to re-define my meanings of craft shop, but you do have some lovely things here!

customer leaves....