How Can I Have More Confidence in What I Write?
Question From: Skiler Johns
Scribes, do you love your writing? No? Well read on as I advise you and one of our lovely Scribes who asked for my help.
Okay, we’re about to get personal here. At one point in my life, I wasn’t really confident in the way I looked. I didn’t feel like talking to people and being social because I didn’t even want people looking at me. So, I went on YouTube and watched self-confidence videos, and everyone kept talking about how much you have to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are and blah, blah, blah. A few months later, when I was really confident in my looks, I thought back to that period of my life and said “Those videos would have been so much more helpful if those people just said ‘Don’t like how you look now? Well, change it.’”
I’m not saying that self-love advice doesn’t help. (Trust me, it does, and we’ll talk about that later.)
However, the way I look now that I’m confident is very different from how I looked when I had low self-esteem. I didn’t just miraculously start to like my reflection in the mirror. The reflection gradually began to change, and it was the change that I liked. It’s the same with your writing. You cannot write the same kind of story in the same kind of way and expect someone to give you a set of tips that will help you like it. I mean, someone can give you such motivational tips to love your writing that it makes you think you’re the best author in the world, but that won’t really help you because at some point, you will realize that only your perspective on your work changed, not your work itself. Then you will be bumped off of your high horse and back to square one.
Start by surrounding yourself with like minds. I heard about this writing group called the Indigo Scribes, so joining that will probably help you (I’m so silly, lmao). No, but seriously, get in a place where there are others like you. Of course I’m the founder of the group so I’m going to tell you that this is a place that can help you, and it is, but there are others. Wattpad, or even other groups on Tumblr, can be very beneficial. You learn a lot from eavesdropping on writers’ conversations. Look at tips. Look at questions that they ask each other and look at their answers. That’s how I learned. Then you have to start asking questions yourself.
Read a lot. A woman once told me “The writer’s always reading and the reader’s always writing”. I don’t think the latter half of that statement is necessarily true, but the first half definitely is. As a writer, you really don’t know anything about how to use your passion if you don’t witness other people do it. Read all different kinds of books. Get accustomed to how fiction writers use words and literary devices. Learn their patterns and techniques.
I’m going to make a masterpost at a later date filled with writing tips, but for now: ask for help, look at help that others have given, read books, keep a journal, go outside, travel, watch lots of movies, etc.
But now, back to what I was saying about self-love advice. It isn’t worth it if you don’t change the thing that you don’t love. However, the people who say that to love yourself you can’t compare yourself to others are right. Don’t read other people’s work and say “man, my writing is trash compared to theirs”. Read it and pin-point the things you like about it. Mark down the things that the writer has done right and learn from those things. Look at things she did wrong and learn from those, too. Accept that you have your own writing style and others have theirs. Also, identify your writing style in the first place. You have to define your style so well that people know you’re the author of something without you telling them you are. Also, go back and dig up your oldest work and compare it to something you wrote today. See how much you’ve grown? Be proud of yourself. Take note of what you’re doing better.
What helps me is to know what I’m writing about and why. An easier way to love what you’re writing is if you have a personal connection to the story line. For example, if you are writing a story just to test your writing skills, it will feel like a job to you. You’ll try to do it really well just to impress yourself (and others). However, if your grandparents just had their 60th anniversary and you are writing a love story, it will be easier for you. You will like what you are writing because you have a connection to it.
Last but not least: we all know that compliments make us feel good. Go somewhere that you can get some feedback on your writing, and as much as you need to take note of the negative feedback (it can be helpful), pay attention to the compliments! They can make us feel good.
I hope I could help you! Sorry for the late reply. If anyone has any tips for Skiler, go ahead and tell us!