A. Creature. Of. Habit @ineedsunshine2grow - Tumblr Blog

Hey There! Can you guys share and help me raise for reliable transportation. Car broke down yesterday.

Hey fuck you

EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING

Thoughts

I have a wonderful partner and I’m soo happy but I am conflicted. B has made it very clear that he’s upset and while I understand. It’s not gonna matter whether I tell him why I just up and left. I loved him enough to lie to myself. There was really nothing true to myself at the end. I created a relationship of convenient love and while it seemed so sweet, it lacked the progression I needed. We were 2 ppl scared of becoming something worth our hurt egos and while that’s a painful realization, it became clear that I had to distance myself from what I thought to be my future because I didn’t want to fear something that could possibly be so great. A relationship isn’t about what’s conveniently there but about sharing the best and worst parts of yourself. To feel free and alive by speaking your mind and having your thoughts acknowledged. I didn’t get much of that unless I was crying to B but T tries and wants to understand me. He communicates and makes efforts to make me feel pretty. It’s unreal. My relationship with T is a work in progress but there’s so much potential for us to have something pretty special. He’s everything that was missing in my old relationship but there’s some shared qualities and that’s when I get doubtful but I try not to share that. I crave for the attention he offers, I enjoy that he’s so busy and I thoroughly enjoy his presence. Idk what our future holds but I hope for us to flourish wherever we end up.

Perfect

Well I've been reading up on end of the world theories and apparently the science community is going to use the Higgs particle whatever majigger to try and open up the space time continuum. This would effect us as a whole but thinking as an individual. I want everyone to know I was the best I could ever want to be at this point and if this is "the end" then I loved & feared and conquered what I believe mattered. If there was another life before mine and I continued to live past this one than I hope I kicked butt in that one too. Happy end of the world to EVERYONE!! Welcome to metaphorical limbo!

A friend of mine posted about her struggle so I tried to articulate my experience with heroin. You may not recognize the courage it took to even type the words out because what I wrote was me admitting that I was afraid and so tempted by her warm and comforting high but I didn't want to hide from my family and friends. I bit the bullet and took the blows as they rolled and even when I was feeling doubt. I still kept on going cuz it was very well worth it to see my niece smile and hug my parents again cuz it hurt not seeing them. Yes, forever deemed the drug addict but I know I accomplished something. I don't mind the title if I still get the comfort and love of everyone who matters.

You see a blue sky, ppl of different colors, every small detail of your world is tucked away in your mind. Is it beautiful? Is it mad? What do you see? You'll tend to have your feelings and dogmas that'll hinder what lies in your mind but it's nothing, but to let go of your ego. Let go of what you believed and know it! Knowledge is ascertained through experience. What we are taught is great for frame of reference but do you challenge it? Challenge yourself and embrace the outcome because fear of uncertainty doesn't seem to be rewarded much in this life and as life will change, you will change too. You'll fear the outcome and as you try to run back, life is still changing and there's just added on issues to face. It's tough kid but once you get over that hill, it's a sight to remember EVERYTIME!

I don't always tell him how much I miss him but when I do, it always comes out as a passive way to say it. He finally caught on and said, "I miss you." Big kudos to my love, he gets me.

Dating scene

I've met an interesting boy. He's shared a bit about his background and I shared some of mine. I felt it was important to let him know of my relationship with my sister and pops, they are huge staples in my character because I try to treat others the same way they have opened their minds and accepted me as myself. In the last 3 years, I have found that people are accustomed to hiding behind meaningless pleasantries and lying about what's true to their person that this behavior manifests into a struggle of expressing who we really are at heart which is awesomeness. I personally believe that if I am content with myself and my thoughts than anyone around me should feel alright with me and my thoughts too. His response to my little rant was,"God damnit. You're amazing."

Practice practice practice

#strip #practice #warmingup

Slummin it ✌🏽️

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20/100 Days of Pleasantries

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reblog if you dont have a bra on

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Yesh.

Update on life

Well a lot has happened after B went to Brazil. I was being a good girlfriend up until Feb. 14 when I saw that a few girls had posted pictures on his timeline and I assumed that he was hooking up with all of these girls. Once again, I felt like my feelings were not considered and I was long forgotten because how could I compete with beautiful blondes with huge tits? I can't so I thought I'd move on and let him have what I thought his heart desired which seemed to be NOT me. Tommy came along and I felt wanted and appreciated and while B can say,"thank you" and be polite, it was always difficult reading where we were at in our relationship. Tommy talked about making things "official", a future, and his love for me which was more than enough reason to let go of B. I wanted someone to be certain about me and I wanted my love to be reciprocated. When B came back from Brazil, I had spent $2600 and completely avoided him for a month being selfish and inconsiderate trying to make a relationship work with a compulsive lying loser junkie. Tommy ended up being a piece of shit that lied about his "separation" with his wife, his work life and our relationship was a complete sham. I can only be accountable for my stupidity and letting someone so toxic in my life. It was my poor decision's that led to my demise. Dealing with my reality was hard, it was difficult to cope so I was taking a cocktail of pills just to face my demons at work and to be content with my body which was just skin and bones. Well with that being said, a phone call was made to B to pick my belligerent ass up because I gave myself a roofi-colada. B had a few words to share with me and I found out how much he actually cares amongst many other things. We obviously got back together but I was still lying and he knows me well enough to know when I am lying so he's been asking many questions for a few weeks which finally led to the truth and he was really upset. Yesterday, we had a talk and I apologized about the lies and while there's no justifying my actions. I wanted him to understand why I lied and it was just so I wouldn't lose him which led us to talk about our entire relationship from the beginning to our present and this talk cleared up a lot and reassured that I am not just a convenient fuck. I am much more than just a friend and no matter where we are at in our relationship, he will always be here for me and he's not going anywhere. His words to me were,"I can't see us having our chemistry and connection with anyone but each other" and in that very moment, I realized Brodie has fallen in love with me.

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He humours me. A couple more weeks and I get to see him. I'mma milk him sooo hard.

My breakout monkey<3 Meeting him NYE OF 2013 wasn't the night I fell in love with him. He and I weren't suppose to meet and after meeting well we grew to be very fond of eachother. We toyed with one another like cat and dog for 2 years. I never thought I'd grow to love someone as much as I love him. He inspires me to do great things, I can snore in his face and he'll always spray snore-extinguisher in my mouth, I can always count on B to extinguish my snore attacks. He has a delicacy to sensibilities LOL. B and I have our morning brekkie's along with tea and raw milk or we'll cuddle up on the couch and he could tell me the benefits of raw milk for hours on end, it gets old but I can't help but look at him and think,"geez, you are such a gem. How in the world did I get so lucky to have someone salt and lick my wounds simultaneously". He's nowhere near "my type" but my types a pansy with tight pants, a band tee and vans. B's a man with an exceptionally nice hiney who knows how to make a girl really clean up her act and become extremely domesticated and he has a nurturing nature while he looks like a convicted felon. I'm in love with him for him and not his belongings. I want to do nice things for him, I long to make him happy, I love that we can share the kitchen and it's like a dance around eachother. He just stares at me and smiles and it gives me chills. Well that's enough, that's my B.

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A. Creature. Of. Habit