They said that. I promise. @ineffablegoodomensquotes - Tumblr Blog

Aziraphale: Are you drunk?

Crowley: On the Spirit of Christmas!

Crowley: It’s the cheap, high-proof brandy I found. I hope it’s not seasonal.

Crowley: Do you wanna live in London? Do you wanna live life in the fast lane?

Crowley, shouting: GOOD FUCKING LUCK FINDING IT

Crowley: Americans drive on that side of the road. But in England, on this side of the road, you sit here and

Crowley, shouting: DO FUCKING NOTHING

Yes, 911? What's the safest way to set a car on fire?

Crowley

Crowley: They say if you look at something for long enough, you'll start to love it.

Crowley: WELL I'LL BE SHOVING MY COCK IN THE FUCKING BREAK LIGHTS

Crowley: Vegetable oil is made feom vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so baby oil-

Aziraphale: Can we please just have a nice dinner for once?

Crowley: Harmless? I'm harmless?

Aziraphale: Yes. You do not pose a viable threat.

Crowley: Well, that's just insulting.

Not enough people saw how hot I look today so I’m grocery shopping at 11pm.

Crowley

Gabriel: Welcome to the 'Fuck Crowley' support group, where we gather to say a collective 'fuck you' to that stupid demon.

Gabriel: But first, a few words from our newest member.

Aziraphale, sweating: I may have misunderstood-

Crowley: And if you'll look to the left you'll see what's left of my hopes and dreams

Aziraphale: Crowley there isn't anything there

Crowley: Precisely

I have a lot of questions, but the first one has to be where you got that flamethrower

Aziraphale, to Crowley

Crowley: If it were up to me, life would just be a series of daily naps

Aziraphale: That’s just a normal sleep schedule dear

Crowley: I’m sorry, a who?

They said that. I promise.