Warning About Moving to South Florida
Hey there! It’s your friendly, neighborhood, South Floridian. If you’re considering moving to South Florida, I have one warning for you:
1. Don’t be a single, college-educated woman looking for love.
Ft. Lauderdale is literally the worst place for women like us to date. I wish I was kidding. It’s the pits.
If you’ve read my most recent post about having a long-distance crush, it’s not because I’m psycho obsessed and lovelorn. It’s because there are literally no decent guys down here (the last one got engaged a week ago)... You have to outsource your dating life in order to find someone remotely decent.
First, lemme tell you about the guys down here.
The guys down here are rarely, if ever, college-educated. If they are, they’re usually taken, aren’t interested in a relationship because they are focusing on their careers (because it takes so much thought and concentration), supposedly just got out of a serious relationship (keyword: supposedly), or are straight-up players and douchebags. And the reason why is because the ratio for college-educated women to college-educated men is nearly 2:1. That’s almost doubled!! Fuck that noise. I’m not a competitive person. Plus, I don’t feel like competing for a decent guy who has no interest in a relationship.
Noncollege-educated men are even more prevalent. They usually work crazy hours in order to manage their lifestyles of pretending to be rich and about something. They tend to have hobbies like being a rapper, music producer, guitarist in a band. Hobbies in which they feel will get them ahead in life. Now, I’m not the one to doubt anyone’s goals. However, if you’re not making any money from it, smoke weed every day and are still confused as to why you’re broke as shit, then maybe you shouldn’t have quit your day job.
You’re probably thinking this is the case everywhere. It’s not. The fact that decent heterosexual men have told me that the men down here are shitty douchebags, that’s a really bad sign. The fact that they noticed how other guys are is incredibly tragic.
On the upside, if you’re a single, college-educated woman who is just trying to get laid and has no interest in getting into a relationship, then South Florida is the place for you!















