INXJ Personalities

A sassy blog about INFJs, INTJs, and understanding MBTI better.

[inf-and-tj]

I believe I am mostly an INFJ but also very much an INTJ. My whole family and many of my (few) friends happen to be INTJs. I know both types are similar but they're also very different. How can I be both? Could you explain the most probable balance of my character that would cause me to be a mixture of both?

Hi! Thanks for writing in. Under cognitive function theory, it’s technically impossible to be both INFJ and INTJ. This is because INFJs are assigned Ni-Fe-Ti-Se, and INTJs are assigned Ni-Te-Fi-Se. So you’re definitely right is saying they’re both similar in ways. Both share the first and last function, which helps define their respective strengths and weaknesses. Both types will be likely to “fall down the rabbit hole” so to speak (Ni) and also run into things (Se). 

So, how to differentiate? One of my favorite ways to tell apart the types is to actually look at weaknesses. It’s very easy to look at the positive traits and identify with all of them (especially on many typing sites where the adjectives are super vague.) However, it’s the negative traits that really sway and help decide. I have a post for INFJs and INTJs on weaknesses here, if you want to take a gander and see which ones you or your closest peers would probably agree with for you. 

Alternatively, you can compare between the second highest function in the stack, and see which one fits better. I haven’t broken down the cognitive functions individually yet, but here is a helpful post from one of my favorite MBTI blogs that should be funny but also useful. 

Cheers!

[inf-and-tj]

INTJ Quirk #2

The Nose Dive 

This is a typical move for the INTJ who’s under a lot of stress, emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, whatever the case may be. There’s several steps to reaching the point where their life takes a Nose Dive, but it’s super important to remember that for those who feel they’re on this path, eventual collapse is not necessarily your only option, even if its one that is typical.

How does the Nose Dive come about? Firstly, we have to look at Ni, the INTJ’s strongest and most well developed function. This is the function that predetermines the INTJ’s future, by being able to curate information and predict what comes next. This is great for setting goals, but not so great when it comes to times of stress. The INTJ is likely to take an “ends justify the means” approach to life. 

This means that when the going gets tough, the INTJ avoids thinking about or confronting the difficulties that make the going tough. Add in the fact that even Te is not a particularly detail dependent function, a lot of small injustices will pile up. If we go back to the perfectionistic Ni that may not want to seek help or admit that something’s wrong, and tiny issues become really big. “I can handle this workload, I just need to get through the week.” “Yes, of course, I’ll take on the presentation.” “I’ve seen him texting someone and it’s suspicious, but I’m so busy I’ll talk to him about it later.”

And like a fault that receives lots of pressure, there’s a slip and suddenly San Diego reads a 6.7 on the Richter scale with an epicenter 100 miles away. When the top functions have “failed” to work properly, the least developed function, Se, thinks it’s a wonderful time to take over. This means lots of physical extremes: overeating, undereating, lots of sex, drinking, drugs, overexercising, never getting up from the couch, and so on. The healthy mechanisms appeared to have failed the INTJ, and so unhealthy ones take their place. 

What then? Typically, much like after an earthquake, things are uncertain for a while. Sometimes, the underlying issues such as stress from a job, or a difficult partner, can be fixed and improved upon, and the chance of another Nose Dive aren’t too big. However, if those aren’t mended, or if the INTJ responds to things out of their control such as death in the family, then the next best thing is to prepare ahead of time, and wait out the next earthquake. 

[inf-and-tj]

INFJ Quirk #2

The Door Slam

This is a pretty notorious mannerism among different INFJ forums and platforms. The Door Slam refers to the act of completely shutting out a person from one’s life, usually without any vocalized reason. It’s a move that seems to the outside as very cold and harsh, usually because most people in the INFJ’s life will see them as warm and caring. 

There are several steps to getting to the Door Slam, even though it might appear that it was just one swift move. First, there’s the build up. This can take the form of emotional dependency on the INFJ, excessive criticism, and even straight out abuse. The nature of the relationship doesn’t matter, it can be familiar, platonic, or romantic -- all relationships have the potential to be subject to the Door Slam. The INFJ will tend to avoid confrontation and instead try to empathize with the other person, because extroverted feeling makes the INFJ feel as though not only can they help this person, but that they have a duty to do so. And so, comes the justification. “I would also feel really angry if I’d gone through what she has.” “He didn’t mean to say that, he’s under a lot of stress right now.”

The next step to reaching the Door Slam is realization. Eventually, the INFJ’s introverted thinking will begin to put together the pieces, even though the INFJ would like to continue to see the best. And so, the INFJ will slowly begin to realize that this person has been unfair to them/ taken up too much emotional energy with nothing in return/ acted abusively, by using introverted intuition to look at the bigger picture. And that’s when the anger and frustration sets in, because the INFJ would never willingly treat another person this way.

Finally, there’s the cut off. This is typically the only part other people see, because even though the INFJ is finally prioritizing their needs, that pesky extroverted feeling still wants to avoid confrontation. The INFJ will still not want to approach the subject, partly to avoid getting their feelings hurt, and partly because they feel that the other person should know already that they’ve mistreated the INFJ. And so, all contact is cut off. Introverted intuition allows for a complete and utter severing of the relationship. It may hurt and cause some emotional damage, but the INFJ is very unlikely to change their mind once they’ve made this decision.

[inf-and-tj]

INTJ Weaknesses

Being in tune with others’ feelings, particularly those outside their inner circle, doesn’t come naturally to the INTJ.

INTJs can be overly critical of others, particularly when they act irrationally. 

Believe they’re always right ;))))

When stressed, they may turn towards extreme behaviors: over/under eating, drinking, too much/little exercise, etc.

Dismissive of ideas or theories that don’t follow clear logic.

INTJs can be intensely private to the point nobody knows who they really are. 

[inf-and-tj]

INFJ Weaknesses

Have difficulty being aware of how they come across to others. INFJs can read a room without problem but are completely clueless to how others perceive them.

INFJs’ expectations for themselves and others can be too high at times.

Out of concern for other people’s feelings, they will bottle up their own until they’re very wound up, and then explode.

They’re indecisive, probably. 

INFJs can be mockingly sarcastic and antagonistic when they feel they’re under attack, especially if that person was part of their inner circle.

Difficulty dealing with criticism :-))))

[inf-and-tj]

The Differences Between INFJs and INTJs

Whew, boy. This is a mixup I see often, particularly because of the oversimplification of the MBTI system and it’s typing standards. In general, it’s much more accurate to type via cognitive functions rather than by going down the list of letters, and choosing one or the other. However, I understand that the functions are difficult to get to know at first, especially if you’re new to MBTI. That’s why I’m going to break it down for you right here.

First Function - Introverted iNtuition (Ni)

INFJs and INTJs actually share their first function, which is one reason why it can be difficult to tell them apart. This function is very broad, theoretical, and conceptual. It looks at the big picture, and is adept at using current ideas, clues, and facts to look into the future. Ni is a function that says “this hypothesis / relationship / invention won’t work out” before anybody can implement them. Ni is also susceptible to “falling down the rabbit hole.” That is, taking an idea and imagining it’s implementation, fruition, and downfall, and overall taking it way too far {btw this is a lot of fun to do, don’t hate.} 

Ni is also great at following through on plans, because it will only pick one to follow. In general, this function will also assist the type in their focus which is typically people for INFJs, and ideas for INTJs. Beware of stereotyping, for artistic INTJs and STEM-oriented INFJs do exist. Do not reduce the types or functions to generic ideas. That is lazy typing. 

Second Function - Extroverted Thinking (Te) vs Extroverted Feeling (Fe)

The second function in the stack is where we have some fun! INTJs utilize extroverted thinking, which is a very authoritative and strong willed function. Te looks at facts, organization, and hierarchal status. Te typically leans towards the STEM side of academia, but it can really succeed in any area, especially if there are medals to be won. They will create concrete goals and place personal importance on success. Moreover, they tend to have a very definitive view of success, such as referring to their GPAs, diplomas, or earnings, though it’s certainly not limited to these things. Te is very persuasive in dealing with people, particularly if there’s a goal to be achieved. Extroverted thinking will have an idea for successfully creating a thermonuclear weapon out of corn {cheap and organic wow}, put together a presentation, and get the President of the US to sign off on the budget. In other words, Te is good at winning. 

On the other hand, INFJs employ the use of extroverted feeling. Fe is a very people oriented function, and not necessarily a feeling function per se {INFJs are so out of tune with their feelings it’s wack.} This is a function that takes in the social setting, doesn’t like to rock the boat, and knows just how to communicate with every person Fe comes across.  This is why many INFJs are perceived to be extroverts, because they’re chameleon-like and tend to do well in any social situation. Fe is very empathetic, almost to an extreme, and will do almost anything to avoid confrontation. Extroverted feeling will also drive the user’s main purpose in life towards the “greater good,” whatever that is perceived to be. Fe is the force behind writing holiday cards, remembering birthdays, and just overall giving people what they need. 

Third Function - Introverted Feeling (Fi) vs Introverted Thinking (Ti)

The third function is where things get a little less developed, for all types. Therefore, these bottom functions can either not be “present” or show themselves in extremes. These are your hot mess functions. INTJs have introverted feeling, which is a function that highly values authenticity, personal morality, and being honest. Fi is unabashedly itself, and can be lacking in empathy at times. Introverted feeling will “say what everybody else was thinking” and be super upfront. When poorly developed, Fi will absolutely lack tact {and politeness oops}. The plus side is that Fi users will stick to what they believe in, even if nobody else does. 

INFJs use introverted thinking, which is a highly analytical, precise, and categorical function. The Ti user will have an exact use and name for everything in their lives. Ti will search for consistency and strength in logic. However, a symptom of having Ti low in the stack is that INFJs can be unnecessarily meticulous in their wording and have a soft spot for weird ass conspiracy theories {yes it’s funny to think Oprah Winfrey and Michael Cera are the same person but why.}

Fourth Function - Extroverted Sensing 

And in the end, we’re back to sharing the same inferior function, extroverted sensing. Se is adept at being in tune with the real world in present time. Extroverted sensing has aesthetic, rhythm, and lots of fun. This is precisely why it’s hilarious to see low-Se users in action. Both INFJs and INTJs are capable of being artistic, dancing, and catching a football. But it’s not something that comes naturally to either type. They’re prone to walking into walls, dropping knives, falling from great heights, and twisting ankles. 

Overall, INFJS and INTJs are both going to talk about how to take over the world with only $20 and trip over their own feet while doing it. The only difference is INTJs will threaten persuade Putin with a very shifty taser, and INFJs will charm their way to getting a list of nuclear codes {the money was spent on mascara, duh}. Ta - da! 

[inf-and-tj]

INTJ Quirk #1

Honest Expressions

One mannerism I’ve noticed among INTJs is their really distinctive facial expressions, particularly in photographs. I’m going against the grain here when I say that INTJs are not all Spock-like. They’re not necessarily going to be emotionless or dead looking in photos, or in real life for that matter. {And being stubborn about not wanting to smile isn’t an INTJ trait -- it’s more of an asshole trait, really. }

But, in the event that the INTJ agrees to be in the picture, and doesn’t want to be that guy who’s not smiling, they tend to have a really amusing expression. It’s the opposite of Tyra Bank’s smizing. Instead of reserving all emotion for the eyes, INTJs will do the exact opposite. Their whole face will form itself into a smile, except for the eyes! 

This is the result of having Fi and Se as the lower two functions. Inferior Se means that the INTJ likely won’t feel comfortable taking photos, unless they’ve taken it upon themselves to get into photography and analyze in depth what makes a good photograph, and so on. And then, Fi is a function that’s not particularly good at faking emotions or putting on airs. What you see, is what you get. The end result is an expression that combines their characteristic piercing stare with an attempt at smiling for the camera.

[inf-and-tj]

INFJ Quirk #1

Meticulous Metaphors

One distinctive mannerism that INFJs have is using really precise language to convey ideas. They can take this to an extreme, going to lengths such as describing a cold glass of water as “it tastes like a young Bradley Cooper trekked to Antarctica, broke off a piece of a dwindling glacier, and personally melted it into a glass for me with his strong, clean hands.” In other words, the water was refreshing.

Why the unnecessarily precise language? Well, first Ni has a broad idea that wants to be expressed. And secondary Fe wants to express this in order to connect with other people, because that sort of thing matters to the INFJ. Fe also wants to convey the message in a way that makes sense to other people. Hilarity ensues with tertiary Ti tries to help. Ti tends to favor very precise {and not necessarily accurate} language, but because it isn’t well developed, just doesn’t know when to stop. 

As a result, INFJs are known for being writers, because they have a way of finding really unique comparisons and are adept at delivering just the idea they want -- especially if they know their target audience very well. But in the event a writing career isn’t in the works for the INFJ, a promising future in creating shitty tweets is another possible avenue. 

[inf-and-tj]

INFJ Strengths

INFJs are typically warm and compassionate in nature.

They’re adept at seeing “the bigger picture” and use this to strive for a better future.

They are good listeners, though it should be noted they may only do this out of social politeness. ;)

INFJs have good communication skills, particularly written. This can take the form of poetry, essays, sarcastic texts, and so on.

They make for good partners, in that they’re very loyal and committed. 

INFJs are very empathetic and in tune to the feelings of those around them, whether they want to be or not!

They have very high expectations for themselves.

[inf-and-tj]

INTJ Strengths

INTJs are typically self assured, and not easily swayed by others’ opinions.

They’re not threatened by conflict or arguments.

Typically, INTJs make for very good listeners... provided the topic is interesting to them, of course. ;)

INTJs are usually considered very intelligent, and grasp new ideas and concepts very quickly.

They’re a very determined type -- once a goal is set, there’s no stopping them.

Though they don’t form many relationships in their lifetime, they make for committed friends and partners.

INTJs make for good leaders. They’re strategic and cunning. This, however doesn’t always mean they want to be leaders.

[inf-and-tj]

Hello!

You’ve reached the beginning of the blog. Or, if you’ve been scrolling backwards, you’ve reached the end.

In any case, welcome, and I hope you enjoy your stay here. This INXJ personality blog has been created to further explore these two types in particular, as well as understand MBTI more fully. 

I’m compelled to mention that as the author, I feel certain biases towards these two types {otherwise, why would I dedicate a whole blog to them??} and connect with them the most. This is not to say that these types are the best, and I would advise you to be wary of any people promoting one type as better than the other. 

Love your type, love yourself, and remember that MBTI is a fascinating pop psych tool, but ultimately has no fundamental bearing on you as a human being. 

Have fun!