I see an old abandoned home. There's a sign on the front door that reads "Trespassers will be prosecuted" but like any normal human I'm overwhelmed with a rebellious curiosity to enter through those walls again, and I do. I walk through what used to be a home with white walls waiting to be primed and painted, floors in need of things to sustain, and empty spaces longed to be filled. All I see now are empty damaged holes within four walls, plagued with lead and torn foundations, and I tell myself, at the sight of the damage....that I won't intrude again. I can't help but think sometimes how incredible the human brain is when you can go days, months, and even years without a single memory of something you've locked away only to have something trigger inside to remind you of what you once were. Just like that home, I once had this pure mentality and I wanted to fill it up with all the best things that life could ever offer, until I decided to make a decision to let a corrupted mind do it instead and have sweet innocence turn to stain and damage. That's the analogy I would use, the abandoned home, as for people who give their heart to someone who God has said over and over "IS NOT FOR YOU". It's been a long road to recovery these past eight years from dating outside of what God had planned for me. It's taken medication, family, friends, sleepless nights, crying myself to sleep for two straight years, hospital visits, specialized doctors, LOTS OF PRAYER, and unfortunately so many hurtful words toward Jesus to be where I am today. I used to be asked everyday to say how much in percentage do I feel like my "normal happy self" again, you know before the damaging relationship. There were days when I said I feel 20% like my normal self, 30%, 70%, etc and it's taken three years to be able to say a number in the 90s. It was THAT bad. To everyone who might say how could I have allowed someone to have affected me so much, don't I have my own sense of being, just move on it's over with.... Well no, that's exactly the point the enemy tries to make. Satan wraps you up so far into an unequally yoked person that it seems like odd things are a norm. It took me years to become my own person again and I'm still being transformed into someone better than I used to be before "normal happy self" again. I have found that many people like companionship, and that many times it's confused with LOVE. There's a fine line between knowing if someone truly loves you, or if you believe that simply the presence of a person is what God wants for your life. Don't be with someone simply for the act of 'being with someone'. Just like an old abandoned home with a NO TRESPASSING sign, is a relationship without God as the center. You go in with these expectations of what you wanted only to be reminded that what's really there within the old walls doesn't fill voids, it only leaves destructed emotions, mentalities, things that only continue to prosecute you if you keep going back to something that can't be fixed. Move on, as I have and know that there might be a long road ahead but God is waiting at a new door, and only you hold the key. Love is waiting.
germansingergirl
kianamaiart
areudirty
andulkaphoto
romaincrisis
snowghoul
yousharknotpass
prguitarman
baratheonpilled
origamiaround
vaporwave
