Maggot's Vent Blog

none of this shit means anything and we probably won't be friends. you can call me, 'maggot'. also, this is a side blog.

[infestingmaggots]

‪I hate that I’m too afraid of death to follow through with a permanent solution. Is there just a way I can *cease*? Just a guarantee that every ounce of my consciousness will evaporate the moment of brain death.‬

[infestingmaggots]

Please please please don’t ask if I’m okay

Because it’s wrong if you do

[infestingmaggots]

I miss fucking without love because I want you to hurt me without remorse.

Fuck don’t think of me just beat the shit out of me.

[infestingmaggots]

I know I mean fuck all to you, but damn if I don’t think of you day in and day out

[infestingmaggots]

i’m never fucking able to have my own anger this is why i fucking cut  because i can’t take being told i’m a piece of shit for having anger

people are allowed to have moments, be irrational, vent, be fucking accepted as being human and angry?

me? i get fucking told how i’m supposed to be angry and that i’m still doing everything fucking wrong

fuck it 

fuck you

fuck all of this

i’m gonna fucking get high

[infestingmaggots]

I’m really tired of feeling like shit

[infestingmaggots]

my life is so fucked and I’m so goddamned alone in all of this

Fuck.

[that-bog-witch]

Just a reminder that fleeing into the woods to become a bog witch and local cryptid in hopes of escaping life responsibilities is 100% valid.

[stormwaterwitch]

thank fucking gods

[trash-cactus-blog]

honestly the more time i spend on tumblr and especially in discourse hell, the more i appreciate the simple ass allies whose only opinion is “being gay isnt wrong” its so refreshing to remember that most people irl have no idea what 90% of all yalls made up nonsense means

[infestingmaggots]

from one nutcase to another

have you ever tried to lend an empathetic ear to someone talking about suicide

and then they just end up bitching about the same self-gratifying bullshit

and you’re suddenly thinking: “please just get it over with so i don’t have to deal with your whining ass anymore”

just me?

[infestingmaggots]

can everyone just stop talking about their fucking feelings all of the times and grow the fuck up?

christ all fucking mighty. 

feelings are important, but fuck me, if all you do is bitch in a circle jerk about how ToDaY wAs HaRd, it’s no fucking wonder you can’t get out of your own fucking head

i’m suicidal with the best of them, but fucking goddamn, get a fucking backbone, you whiney motherfuckers

[infestingmaggots]

blowing my fucking brains out sounds so goddamned delightful 

[infestingmaggots]

i was on complete black out and remembered nothing of what i posted here yesterday

whoo

[infestingmaggots]

People love me?

That’s great. I know it.

Doesn’t mean I can feel it.

People need to talk about mental health awareness.

Yeah, been there. I’m aware. The people around me are aware.

And guess what? Still want to fucking kill myself. I’m around people that love me and are open to awareness.

Still. Want to. Fucking. Kill myself.

Some of us are just born fucking wrong okay

The ones born wrong kill themselves

It’s not something therapy or meds can fix

We’re just

Fucking wrong

No matter how much we know someone loves us, we’re incapable of feeling loved

If just is

So stop fucking guilting me and just left me fucking die

I’m not doing us any favors by being alive

[infestingmaggots]

my roommate gave me a birthday card about how strong and powerful she thinks I am

If only she fucking knew

[infestingmaggots]

I had the luxury of working from home today and I’m still on the clock

My boss doesn’t believe me about the window

With picture proof

I should just be a professional and get over it

I’m being paid to drink, get high, and mutilate until I stop crying

That’s cool

Did I mention fuck my birthday? I’ve never not had a shitty birthday

I’m tired of them

And want to end them

No more fucking birthdays

Stop shoving them on me

I’ve told people time and time again that I want nothing to do with them

And still

[infestingmaggots]

fuck I’ve lost my pain tolerance

3 cuts in an I’m such a fucking baby

I used to be so good at this

I’m almost out of vodka