INFP Brasil

[mbti-notes]

This is the INFP with low self-esteem again. Thank for you last response; it was helpful. I have another problem, this time with my older brother. He is socially awkward, antisocial, detail-oriented, present- or past-oriented, focused on organizing his external environment, controlling, and cares about facts related to things, not people, so I type him as ISTJ or IxTP. I see Si and Te more, but what looks like Te may be a Fe grip. His functions are probably unhealthy. (End part 1).

[con’t: He is hard to type because I don’t know much about him, but those are my best interpretations. He also has some type of mental issue, preventing him from feeling empathy. My problem with him is he copes with people-related problems by viciously trying to tear others down. He does this to me and other family members. If something doesn’t make sense to him in a logical way or matter to him, he sees no use for it and tries to dictate to others that they need to stop. For example, I took up a new aesthetic hobby. He forcefully stated that I shouldn’t have this hobby. This is despite the fact that he has no association with it, aside from living under the same roof. I’m mindful enough to make sure my hobby doesn’t cause problems for anyone, but he takes an all-or-nothing approach to me even having it, which isn’t reasonable. I don’t care that he holds this opinion, but I do care when he dictates with such force that he expects me to bend to his demands.When that happens, I tend to slip back into a Te-grip. I struggle with people like this in general, especially when I defend my healthy boundaries and they insist on steamrolling them down in return. It gets scary when the “this issue isn’t up for debate, I’m walking away now” approach doesn’t end the problem permanently. If that’s supposed to be effective, maybe I’m just not doing it right..? I hate internalizing this and want to learn to deal with this behavior in healthy ways.]

Sounds like he’s bullying you? Do you know why bullies bully? Bullies operate at the lowest levels of ego development, completely unable to see past their own experience, so other people are just objects to them. They are insecure people who are emotionally driven by the pleasure-pain principle. They can only understand the world through a reductionistic model that measures human worth according to a hierarchy of “power to inflict pain” (Te and Fe can both learn this model, though they may choose different tactics). In their mind, the higher the position you can secure in the hierarchy, the better you can avoid pain. This means that bullies have no substance within, they can only derive self-esteem through feeling superior to others and, on the flip side, it means that their biggest fear is feeling inferior to others. They do not respond to diplomacy because they mistake kindness for weakness. Kindness involves opening yourself up to feeling for others and being affected by them, and they believe that being affected by others is a vulnerability that can be exploited, essentially granting the other person power over oneself. They are incapable of kindness for the simple fact that they deeply fear the vulnerability of openness and, instead of confronting that deficiency honestly (i.e. by understanding that confronting your deepest fear actually means being courageous not weak), they project their fear and perceived weakness onto you. They will exploit you in the manner that they fear being exploited, hoping that if they do it to you first, they will rob you of the power to do it to them, thus “neutralizing” you in order to maintain their “superior” position in the hierarchy. Any time their bullying behaviors keep you in an inferior position, any time they can affect you and get a rise from you and feel power over you, it is a reward for them, an encouragement to keep doing it. It can even become like an addiction as they learn to sniff out people who are “weak” and exploit them for personal pleasure and self-esteem.

You must deal with people in the language that they understand best in order to get the result you want. The only language bullies understand is power. It is a difficult situation for you because inferior Te means that you do not speak this language very well but, Te is there, and you can use it when you need it. It is an issue of NEED, not an issue of WANT. Your Te is like the pepper spray in your pocket: you shouldn’t run around spraying everyone just because you are unhappy with them, rather, you should only use it when you absolutely need it for preserving your own safety and well-being. However, Fi-Te often fears becoming the thing that one hates, to lower oneself and become the bully in the process of defending oneself. This is why it is important that Fi and Te always counterbalance each other. Fi tells you that you need to protect yourself and Te gives you the means for doing it. As Te carries out the plan, Fi keeps you honest by telling you when you’re going too far, i.e., when it is no longer about protection and more about revenge or deriving pleasure from inflicting pain. Fi tells you when to stop, as long as you can remain in touch with it.

Understand that his behavior has absolutely nothing to do with you and that his words/actions should never define anything about you, then you won’t internalize. For the pathetic and non physically violent bullies, it is often enough to either ignore them with indifference (i.e. don’t satisfy their competitive impulses or buy into their “hierarchical” thinking) or coldly shout them down to shut them up (i.e. teach them not to mistake your kindness for weakness). For physically violent bullies, it is usually better to avoid engaging unless you are capable of physically overpowering them (but physical safety should always be a priority). Detach yourself emotionally from them but don’t run from them or else you show your “weak” position. Make it clear in words and action that they are nothing to you, then they may no longer get pleasure from bullying and move on. If you can overpower a bully and put them in their place, then do so and walk away, don’t start a drama with them. If you can’t, then at least don’t feed into their pleasure - show a brave face and stand your ground as necessary. If you can enlist the help of a person who is higher up and has the power to control the bully, then consider how to use that to your advantage.

[mbti-notes]

As an INFP, how do I go from the perspective that I'm nothing special and no one is, to seeing something special in myself and others. It's like that saying, "If everyone is special then no one is" but if this is true, it all seems rather pointless as we're all a reboot of some previous person. I wish I would be excited in meeting new people or even learning more about myself, but it all seems boring and repetitive.

Saying “if everyone is special then no one is” is an example of poor Te reasoning (perhaps chronic Te grip mentality) that 1) tries to inappropriately “universalize” subjective Fi judgments and 2) makes unfounded generalizations based on standards of measurement that you are not even aware of. You have not defined what “special” means, so how then would you have the ability to spot what makes people special? What is the relationship between “special” and a person’s “worth”? Is a person only worthy if they are also special, which means that those you judge as “not special” should go jump off a bridge (which apparently also includes yourself)? Shouldn’t you properly define these terms before using them as standards of measurement in judging everything as “pointless”?

When you cannot see something (yet others can), does it mean that it doesn’t exist? Or is it more likely that you lack imagination (Ne) and spend too much time making unfair/unwarranted/illogical comparisons (Si)? You don’t have to be excited about meeting new people or learning more about yourself, nobody says you have to except you. If it’s so boring and repetitive, why even care enough to send me this question, why not just carry on with whatever you want to carry on with? Perhaps because at some level you realize there’s something wrong, you realize that you get stuck because you keep rejecting the new before even understanding it - “this person/situation is just like that other person - pass”, “this person/situation is not special according to my preexisting definition of special - pass”, “I am nothing special and my past proves it - pass on myself”. INFPs who compulsively make these unwarranted Fi moral judgments about the “worth” everything get stuck because they only look for evidence that confirms their pessimistic/cynical beliefs (underdeveloped Ne and Si loop).

Healthy relationships are about acceptance, giving and sharing, not about making judgments/criticisms about everyone’s “worth”, therefore, you cannot have a good relationship with anyone if 1) you are incapable of giving because you judge yourself as having nothing special to give and/or you judge the other as being “unworthy” of receiving what you give, and 2) you are incapable of sharing because you are self-absorbed and/or don’t care enough to take an interest in the person and prompt them to show their gifts to you (do you think that everyone should wear the “specialness” on their sleeve for all to see at all times?) Both of these cases involve Fi that is stuck in its own subjective moral judgments of worth, judgments which are only informed by narrow and limited past Si comparisons. Until you can let go of all these negative judgments and criticisms of yourself and others (unhealthy Te), how can you see what positive potential you or others hold? If you prejudge something as being useless and/or if you only see how things don’t measure up to your narrow standards of “specialness”, then of course you wouldn’t be interested in interacting with and learning about anything new. You mistakenly believe that you are bored because people or the world are boring, but the truth is that you are bored because you only look for evidence that proves your preexisting belief that it must be boring. Immature infps fear being “ordinary” and, instead of facing up to that fear, it is easier to project it onto others.

It is your own judgmentalness that holds you prisoner. You cling to it probably because you are afraid of what you would be or what would happen if you were to let it go, perhaps you would realize that you really don’t know jackshit about anything and thus shouldn’t be so quick to judge, so it’s safer to believe that you know even when it’s a delusion. To learn something new, one must have humility, and that is what you lack because you think you know when you don’t. By making constant prejudgments and perhaps even taking pride in how superior your moral judgment is, you don’t have to face your fears because you deflect any information that would force you to change your narrow-minded judgments, but then you also don’t get to make any progress because you get caged by those judgments, which of course comes back around to bite you in the ass and remind you of how little you resemble the image of the knowing/superior person you want to see yourself as being. The only way to exit this loop is to 1) let go of who you believe you are and face the facts of who you are, which is only possible if you stop turning everything into an unwarranted judgment of your worth or “specialness” (i.e. self-empathy and self-acceptance), and 2) set aside your prejudgments and admit when you don’t know so that you can be open to learning something new.

[mbti-notes]

I'm depressed and I'm using nostalgia to remind me of how good I had It and will never have it again. I'm at the point where I think I'll never be as happy as I once was, and I think about suicide as a long-term solution, as in, I think about how I'll give myself five more years (until I'm 28) to get my life in order, or else I'll end it because this will be "proof" that my life will always be this way. I feel trapped by my own deadline. Is this an Si loop? How do I get out of this "logic"?INFP

Yes, Si loop. The past is over, gone, dead. If you’re sad about the loss, then deal with those feelings by grieving properly so that you can move on. Getting lost in fantasy appears to bring a “benefit” of feeling good reliving old memories, but the COST is that you can’t move on and then feel trapped. People get stuck in rumination when they unconsciously choose the superficial “benefit” of the mental loop but don’t fully grasp the cost of doing so. Whether or not you are able to live a good life going forward is entirely based on the decisions you make RIGHT NOW. If you want to waste your present moment in futile wishful thinking, then the future you fear that “won’t be as good” comes true via self-fulfilling prophecy, because nothing about life will ever change or improve when you don’t lift a finger to change or improve it. You have control over your future and it is your responsibility to make it into something great -> if you had good Ne-Te development, you would realize that. Ask yourself what’s more important to you: the immediate gratification of reliving the past but getting stuck there, OR, putting in the effort right now to make your life brighter and better going forward - you can’t have it both ways and, so far, you keep choosing the former and then wondering why you’re trapped. These are cognitive CHOICES that you make, which means that you can CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY at any point -> Ne.

[mbti-notes]

How can an INFP overcome laziness and execute their goals? My lack of ability to “suck it up” and get things done is distressing to me, but my middle functions are too underdeveloped for me to try out Te yet. How can I utilize Ne to get things done? My Te insecurities keep getting triggered.

Is being lazy good for your psychological health and well-being (Fi)? No, because you are just kicking the can down the road and allowing the problem to get worse. You are not even honoring dominant Fi, how can you honor your other functions? Your middle functions are underdeveloped, so develop them.

It takes time but you have to stand up and get started. The longer you go on not doing anything, the more Te will “complain” that you are useless/worthless. This is a vicious cycle, and the only way you can leave it is to DO something. Enter Ne.

When Ne is not developed properly, a person either overreaches with very unrealistic goals or feels irrationally pessimistic because of imagining that desired goals are completely out of reach. The point of Ne, an extraverted function, is to get you off your butt and trying out new things.

What things should you try? Things that help you improve your life, the way you live, the way you do things. Preferably set realistic objectives and implement them step by step (Si), set goals that promote a sense of progress or improvement, set goals that are aligned with your long term personal development. You won’t have much opportunity to feel useless when you are always doing something to make gradual progress in life. Consult the Type Development guide for more info.

[mbti-notes]

I've heard ENFPs have terrible follow through with their projects, but as an INFP I relate very deeply with that as well. Is it an Ne problem? How do I stop "quitting" things when I'm not seeing immediate progress, when it doesn't seem to be working, when I'm just tired and exhausted. I seem to really want external validation (Te) for my projects and when I don't get it, I want to abandon and forget a project.

It is common for NPs because of the imbalance that results from overindulgence of Ne and underdeveloped Si. In the most general terms, it is a P problem that comes from being easily distracted and having low need for closure. 

Real progress is often hard, it’s a process, it takes work to achieve an important goal. FPs, due to overindulgence of Fi and underdeveloped Te, often conflate “hard” with “bad”. Doing hard things doesn’t feel great in the moment, but don’t misinterpret those negative feelings as “this is bad for me, so I have to stop doing it”. I always use the exercise example: Is it a good idea to stop exercising because it’s unpleasant to feel out of breath and strained muscles? Learn to distinguish growing pains from aversive pain. Not all suffering is bad.

If the only reason you’re doing something is to get external validation, then there’s something wrong with your intention and you’ll easily fall into Te grip behavior patterns. The reason you work hard for a goal should be for your own good (healthy Fi). To properly care for and pursue your own good, you have to be willing to do what it takes to reach goals that are likely to improve you or your life in some way (healthy Ne). You won’t give up so easily when you remain in touch with the bigger picture of what you’re trying to accomplish.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi, I’m a 22 year old INFP in college. I’m at a point where I am deeply unhappy with my position in life, and I’d like your advice for how I should proceed. I want to change so badly and have been trying for so long, but somehow my efforts seem to never amount to any substantial change. I’m really sorry, this is going to be long and contain a lot of backstory. I have a lot of respect for you and have been reading your blog for years, and you seem incredibly wise; however I understand if you do not have the time to answer this. But if so, I appreciate it more than anything.

I come from an extremely dysfunctional family, whom I still live with. My mother is truly a narcissist, and I believe she’s an xSFP. She’s extremely dysfunctional and can hardly handle herself let alone her children. She has extreme nonconformist opinions (anti-vax, total disregard of modern medicine, arranged marriages, etc) and has instilled so much self-hatred into me. She cannot handle anyone who thinks differently from her. She blames me, my dad, and my younger brother for everything wrong with our household. For the past few days she’s been especially horrible, constantly berating me and calling me a failure. She’s extremely toxic but believes herself to be a saint.

My father is an ISFJ who is a total enabler. He suffers at the hand of my mother too yet will throw us under the bus whenever and never stick up for me or my siblings, even though he too gets treated horribly. I believe if he married a better woman he would’ve been salvageable, as he seems to just adapt to my mom’s views, although he gets so much shit from her too.

I don’t think I’ve experienced genuine love from my parents, ever. They’ve always wanted me to be something I’m not. They never approved of my interests (arts, humanities) or valued my opinions. When I was 17 they discovered that I was self-harming regularly, and instead of helping me, my mother shamed me for months and called me evil, a child of the devil. My father cried and asked me, how could you do this? What did we do wrong for you to end up like this?

I have a whole lot of pain in my heart. I’ve worked on myself to the point where I, when needed, can speak relatively objectively about who I am and my strengths. I no longer self-harm. But in my darkest moments, I have completely adapted the label of “evil” and beat myself up over it.

Despite being 22, I do not have my driver’s license. I’ve had my permit since I was 16, but cannot legally drive on my own. I think I could pass the test if I practiced more. However, that would require spending time with my mother, who’s temper stresses me out to no end while on the road. Its because of this that I’ve put it off for so long. I am too unwilling and fragile to deliberately put myself in a situation where I know I will get yelled at and degraded.

Despite being 22, I am not allowed to dress in anything “revealing”, nor get my nails or eyelashes done, I am not allowed to drink, I am not allowed to date, I have a curfew, and I am not allowed to move out.

A few months ago, I tried to take control of my life. Despite all of my misfortune, I am lucky enough to have a lot of genuine friends who care for me. My best friend and I decided to move out together. We leased a place, made payments, and started packing our bags. Right before our plan to move officially, without even knowing, my parents decided to go on an impromptu road trip to our hometown. I decided not to tell them until we were driving back from the trip… huge mistake. I was mentally tortured for the entire drive back (3 days). They degraded me to no end, guilt tripped me, cried, acted like I had murdered someone. My mom even accused me of being a lesbian for moving in with another girl, which is not only disgustingly homophobic, but also makes no sense!!! At one point my mom screamed so loudly and banged on the car door in anger while my father was driving, and he ended up pulling over on the highway. She blamed me and basically said if we died it would be my fault. Scared me and my younger siblings shitless.

In the end, it was more trouble than worth. Me and my friend called it off easily, having not signed a real lease and only giving a verbal agreement. We paid the rest of the month off and continued to live at home. I had felt like such a failure. I didn’t have a job or anything, but I was so confident that after moving out and being away from all the horrible shit at home that I’d be able to get ahold of my life, develop good habits, and become my own person… but my dreams of independence and freedom were ultimately crushed, and I remain in jail.

Because of that same trip and failure to move out, I became even more depressed. My parents had overstayed by almost a week despite my protests and their apparent dream of me doing well in school, and the school work and feelings were so overwhelming that I dropped almost all of my classes that semester. They don’t know of course, I’d be dead.

I truly wish I could get my life together, learn to love myself, and move so far away from them. I never want to speak to them again, as cruel as that is. They want to marry me off one day. I can’t handle it. But I have no money, no car, I’m struggling in school… I am always thinking about how I can improve or turn things around, and I always take one step forward and then fall 5 steps behind. I hate my body, I hate my incompetence, and I hate my life. I’ve been trying for so long, reading, writing, thinking, yet I can’t seem to get anywhere.

And then there is the matter of my little siblings. 17 and 8 years old. My younger brother (17) told me during that trip that if I moved out he would kill himself because he wouldn’t be able to handle them on his own or deal with them potentially getting even stricter once I left. It made me so sick, that I wanted to throw up. Luckily, he is most likely moving away for college next year after he graduates… which they are okay with, because he is a boy I suppose. My baby sister is a trooper and understood why I wanted to move out and even pretended to be on my mother’s side. However, when I tried, my mom said she would forbid us from talking because I am a horrible influence. The thought of abandoning her with mother makes me want to cry. I thought that maybe I would secretly buy her a phone before I move out and let her keep it a secret to talk to me with. But if me moving away and living my life the way i want to made her life worse, I dont know how I’d forgive myself or make up for it.

But either way, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to move out. I hate my body and my bad habits. I try to get clean and become healthier all the time but I can’t stick with it. Something always happens with my mother having an episode and it depresses me to no end and I lose it, try again, lose it. Then with driving. I keep thinking I’ll get my license soon. I never have motivation to practice with her. I need to be able to take my self places to get a job. And even if I do get a job, I know based on my old ones that the stress of home life, my self esteem, and fragility will make it so hard to hold down a job without breaking down constantly or just giving up. And then there’s school. I want to be educated and do well so badly, but it’s so hard with how things are. What should I do? How can I change? I want to escape this nightmare and live for myself more than anything. I want to be content with who I am and comfortable in my body and in my life decisions. I want to be able to voice my opinions and follow my values without being punished, stifled, or suffocated. If I don’t figure out things soon, I fear everything will come crumbling down and the life I long for will never be realized. I promise I try to be positive and appreciative of what I do try. I try to do things that will make me happier and take steps towards a better life. I try to deconstruct my mind so that I don’t fuss over everything and accept even horrible things as they are… But I always get shot down. It always becomes too much, and my progress always becomes undone. It’s like I’m trapped and can’t get out. All I want is the basic right to be myself, unapologetically.

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You are a young adult and it's an important aspect of young adulthood to establish an independent mindset. I believe you have it already, but your environment is not allowing you to express it fully. This is not your fault, so there is no reason to blame yourself for it.

Blame is a distraction, and it can even lead to problems like self-harm. Blame keeps you hyperfocused on the negative aspects of situations, which drains the precious mental energy you need for moving forward in positive directions. The sooner you can let go of your blaming mindset, the better you will feel and the more rational your thinking will be when tackling problems.

Remember: The blame you direct at yourself is an echo of your mother's way of blaming you. Do you want to internalize her negative attitude? If you truly have an independent mindset, you should be able to separate your own thoughts from someone else's. Where will you find the truth about you: her words or your heart?

With regard to confidence: Most people experience times in life when it seems that problems or obstacles are too big to surmount. The best approach is to break them down into very small steps and manageable goals (requires proper use of Si). By doing this, you allow yourself to feel a relatively continuous stream of small wins that gradually improve your self-confidence. Believing that you are capable is half the battle, isn't it?

With regard to motivation: You say you have good friends to support you and that's a great resource to draw from. Whenever you're feeling down, reach out for some emotional support. Whatever it is you're having difficulty with, get input or assistance from someone more knowledgeable than you. For example, is your mom the only person in the world who can help you with driving instruction? Getting encouragement and support at crucial stages of your path helps keep your motivation up.

Failing to achieve a goal doesn't make you a failure or a bad person. If you believe it does, you are still thinking like a child and it is yet another manifestation of an unhealthy blaming mindset. Failure is really an opportunity. It helps you learn new things. It helps you improve your knowledge and skills. It helps you find a better direction. What mistakes did you make last time? What do those mistakes tell you about how to do better next time? An important aspect of personal growth is learning how to turn failure into something educational, edifying, or valuable.

For INFPs, Ne development is necessary for learning how to be resourceful and making the best use of what you have, rather than always getting lost in thinking about what you don't have. You've spent a lot of words telling me how your situation sucks so that I can understand where you're coming from. But I wonder: What is good about your situation? What resources, both internal and external, are available to you? What's the best way to use those resources to achieve your goals?

[mbti-notes]

I've read that one of the differences between INFP and INFJ is that INFPs seek validation while INFJs seek understanding. Could you expound on this? Thank you!

Validation means to have one’s worth acknowledged. Fe and Fi both need validation but in different forms.

Keep reading

[mbti-notes]

I have an NFP classmate and am puzzled by her actions. She seems v friendly/open/warm but she actually dislikes talking to ppl to the treatment that during school holidays, she deletes all social media accounts so you have no way to contact her. It's like she likes people but she's just not interested/have the energy to be invested? She has a best friend she sees twice a year coz they're not "clingy". What could make an NFP act like that?

It is in the nature of Fi to self-care, so if she feels the need for self-care, that’s all there is to say about it. Are you an Fe type? If so, do not confuse the need for self-care as being “not as invested”, i.e., do not judge a different type through the standards of your own.

[mbti-notes]

Infp losing motivation. I lost my old hobbies and can't bring myself to start new ones cause even when I see why something would be fun, I never feel that "sparkle" that usually inspired me to apply myself and create something new. Maybe it's a self-esteem problem since I have new friends that are better than me in everything I like and the thing hurt me so much I can't find ideas anymore. I don't believe I can be good and don't know how to stop and get my enthusiasm back. Do you have any advice

It is precisely the worry about “measuring up” that saps your energy and passion. What is the purpose of a personal interest, hobby, or passion? To label yourself “special”? To feel superior? To show off? To get admiration? To win an imaginary race of your own making? If this is your mindset, then you are approaching what should be the realm of positive and affirming Fi with fearful and insecure Te. Fi and Te are fundamentally opposed to each other. Do you know how to draw a proper line between private and public? Do you believe that nothing is private and everything should be judged according to inflexible external standards? If so, Te grip is your problem.

Instead of wasting time looking to the past (Si loop) or putting yourself down for no good reason (Te grip), you could just as easily be exploring new possibilities with a patient heart and an open mind until you find something that speaks to you. Instead of looking at your friends as “rivals” that show you up, you could just as easily treat them as kindred spirits or mentors that help you enhance and grow your passion through a meaningful, sharing relationship. The fact that you don’t consider these positive possibilities is an indication of poorly developed Fi and Ne, refer to the study guides for function development.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: I am an INFP. If I understand MBTI correctly our dominant function is the most important one and if we want to be the best version of ourselves, we need to have a healthy relationship with our dominant and auxiliary function.

The problem is that I often overindulge fi and get fully immersed in it with bad consequences for my life. Fi’s motivation is to feel good and sometimes when I am very scared of something or when I know doing something will be very painful, I just can’t bring myself to do it.

I often waste my time listen to emotional music and wallow in all kinds of feelings while not doing anything useful with my life. In these moments I also daydream a lot (obviously with the help of ne). People say, us INFPs should develop ne so we get out and experience the world and make something meaningful out of our lives but I am already using ne a lot I just use it inwardly. How can I be a productive member of society of society if my two strongest strongest functions want me to stay at home and daydream all day?

I do wish I could make a life for myself that makes me feel good about myself. I wish I found a man and have children and be a mother and I sometimes wish I could do more art. But my fi is so stubborn in too many moments it just does not let me do something that would be hard for me and I also often feel like God simply does not want me to find a man like it would not be my destiny.

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The key point lies here: "I do wish I could make a life for myself that makes me feel good about myself. I wish I found a man and have children and be a mother and I sometimes wish I could do more art." You know full well what needs to be done. No one can help you when you refuse to help yourself. My blog is only meant to be used by people who are ready to embrace their potential.

Fi isn't the reason you're stubborn. You are referring to Si loop. Your understanding of Fi is childish, with no larger perspective beyond your momentary pains and pleasures. Fi isn't about "feeling good". It's about honoring what is good and doing the right thing, even when it's hard. The way that you choose to live your life (Si loop) is NOT good for you, yet you keep choosing it, over and over again.

You're not going to be very successful at developing auxiliary Ne when dominant Fi is in such a sorry state. Develop functions in the right order. Listen to what your heart of hearts really needs and do the right thing.

[mbtitime]

Spotify 🎧 created 16 Listening Personalities inspired by the #MBTI ♫ So I decided to type each one of them based on their Cognitive Functions to match their descriptions. What did you get and what's your type?

Follow me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and everything else:

➡️ @mbtitime and @typefy for more serious content about the 16 types

[rrocketmann24]

Cognitive Functions

If anyone’s interested in functions like myself and wants to learn more or type themselves, I wrote up this easy guide on cognitive functions for beginners to learn and understand. I hope you guys enjoy.

THINKING  

Te users are organized and efficient. They easily follow logic, sequence, and organization, and they also rely on the facts in front of them, or from experience. They are more likely to act on their ideas and plans. They want to use their knowledge to accomplish a goal.

Dominant: Manifests as the ability to clearly envision the most effective outcome to any given situation or problem and the ability to set the corresponding plans into action. (ESTJ, ENTJ)

Auxiliary: Manifests as the ability to take concrete, efficient action on the Te user’s analysis of what the best thing to do would be. (INTJ, ISTJ)

Tertiary: Manifests as the ability to source whichever resources are necessary to make the user’s desire a reality. (ENFP, ESFP)

Inferior: Originally manifests as the inability to set one’s external desires or plans into motion. As Te matures, the user finds themselves steadily more able to source the resources they require to make their dreams a reality. They also find themselves developing the ability to express their thoughts to others in a straightforward, logical manner. (ISFP, INFP)

 Ti users are excellent problem solvers. Often very clear and concise with their words which can often come off as harsh or critical. Ti users are more likely to be cautious about implementing their ideas into the real world and prefer to just think. They want to use their knowledge to get a better understanding of things, and feed their thirst for knowledge.

Dominant: Manifests as the constant identification of logical patterns that exist in ones external environment as well as a keen perception for any deviations from those patterns. (INTP, ISTP)

Auxiliary: Manifests as the identification of how the logical systems in the user’s external environment could be manipulated to work to their advantage. (ENTP, ESTP)

Tertiary: Manifests as the organization of the user’s pre-existing knowledge in a logical, systematic format.  (INFJ, ISFJ)

Inferior: Originally manifests as an excessively critical view of others, as it searches for objective (and often harsh) truths about other people. As Ti matures, the user will find themselves using the objective truths they pick up on about others to nurture and guide others in a positive fashion, rather than manipulating them for their own gain. (ESFJ, ENFJ)

 FEELING

Fe is more focused on the people around them. “How would others feel about this?” “How would this affect the group?”

Dominant: Seeks to identify what is moral by identifying what those around them value, and then to enforce those values as a measure of keeping the peace in their external environment. (ESFJ, ENFJ)

Auxiliary: Manifests as the urge to apply one’s understanding of a given situation in a way that will satisfy the needs and desires of others. (INFJ, ISFJ)

Tertiary: Manifests as the ability to pick up on the motivations and emotions of those around the user. The immature Fe user may then take advantage of those feelings by manipulating them in a way that supports his or her own ends. The mature tertiary Fe user will search for a means of incorporating the needs of others into their personal plans and actions. (ENTP, ESTP)

Inferior: Originally manifests as the user being reluctant to dabble with or express emotional concerns, as the user cannot logically make sense of many of their own emotions and therefore doesn’t feel confident in moderating them.

As Fe matures, its user will feel increasingly comfortable making and keeping emotional commitments to others, as they grow more confident in what is expected of them. (INTP, ISTP)

 Fi is more focused on their own self and emotions. “How do I feel about this?” “How will this affect me?” “What’s important to me?”

Dominant: Manifests as a moral compass that points its user toward the direction they ought to explore next, based on how they feel about the information at hand. (INFP, ISFP)

Auxiliary: Manifests as a method of reflecting on and assessing how the user feels about their past actions. (ENFP, ESFP)

Tertiary: Manifests as strong, unwavering set of morals and values which the user draws upon to dictate many of their major decisions. (INTJ, ISTJ)

Inferior: Manifests as a general disdain for emotional expression and a fear of being perceived as ‘weak’ by others. (ESTJ, ENTJ)

 SENSING

Se lives in the moment and takes in new experiences. They see, touch, smell, and listen to everything going on in their external world. They easily pick up on details and are aware of their surroundings. They are also more spontaneous and likely to take risks.

Dominant: Manifests as the desire to engage fully with the sensory aspects of one’s environment, without any restraint or pause for analysis. (ESTP, ESFP)

Auxiliary: Manifests as the desire to experience and experiment with the sensory aspects that the user has determined to be the most enjoyable or useful. (ISFP, ISTP)

Tertiary: Manifests as the user’s ability to pick up cues from their external environment and react to them with a sense of natural confidence. (ENTJ, ENFJ)

Inferior: Originally manifests as a distrust of the physical world that surrounds its user, or the pervasive belief that one’s intellect can and must be trusted above the sensory information that is available. (INTJ, INFJ)

 Si tends to focus on subjective information and contrasts personal experiences and information to new information. Si users easily pick up on patterns and are quick to notice inconsistencies. They are more likely to be cautious and responsible.

Dominant: Manifests as a powerful memory for what has worked well in the past, and the desire to structure one’s life around the traditions and positive outcomes of past experiences. (ISTJ, ISFJ)

Auxiliary: Manifests as the preference to rely on the tried-and-true method when working to accomplish a particular goal. (ESTJ, ESFJ)

Tertiary: Manifests as a proneness to nostalgia, as well as a method of contrasting the new and exciting with the old and the known. (INTP, INFP)

Inferior: Originally manifests as a resistance to tradition or conformity of any sort.

As Si matures, the user will find themselves steadily more able to determine when traditional methods are useful in accomplishing their goals and when they are not, and will begin to feel comfortable integrating tried-and-true methods into their experiences as they see fit. (ENTP, ENFP)

INTUITION

 Ne focuses on what could be, and always sees many different possibilities. They often like change and can be a bit idealistic at times. This can cause them to have problems in relationships due to getting bored.

Dominant: Manifests as a seemingly never-ending plethora of theories, possibilities and inventive ideas that the user is constantly picking up on. (ENTP, ENFP)

Auxiliary: Manifests as a plethora of possibilities that arise to support or expand upon a thought or decision that the user has come to. (INTP, INFP)

Tertiary: Manifests as a series of creative solutions that may go into solving a given problem or moving them towards a goal. (ESTJ, ESFJ)

Inferior: Originally manifests as a reluctance to try new ways of doing things, occasionally giving way to anxiety over the unknown. As inferior Ne matures, its user will become more comfortable dwelling in uncertainties and entertaining new possibilities. (ISTJ, ISFJ)

 Ni focuses inwards, on the internal world of thoughts, ideas, and concepts. They focus on the big picture more than details. They can sometimes reach random conclusions that seem to come out of nowhere.

Dominant: Manifests as a keen perception for the meaningful connections that exist between the thoughts, concepts, events and occurrences in the Ni-user’s environment. (INTJ, INFJ)

Auxiliary: Manifests as an understanding of how one ought to go about accomplishing his or her goals, based on a keen intuitive perception of how various courses of action are likely to unfold. (ENTJ, ENFJ)

Tertiary: Manifests as the desire to optimize or perfect upon one’s pre-existing talents or skills. (ISTP, ISFP)

Inferior: Manifests as a scorn or distaste for over-analyzing what is obvious or over-planning for the future. As inferior Ni matures, the user may find themselves developing a keen ‘hunch’ for the way things are bound to unfold in the future and will enjoy entertaining these ideas. (ESTP, ESFP)

[positivityadvocate-deactivated2]

[positivityadvocate-deactivated2]

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

8 Small Happiness Boosters

1. Count your blessings; practice being thankful.

2. Do something small to make someone else smile.

3. Enjoy spending quality time with yourself.

4. Be your own cheerleader and your own best friend.

5. Waste an hour doing something that you really love.

6. Set aside your electronics for an hour.

7. Experiment and try a new activity.

8. Go to bed when you’re tired; get plenty of sleep.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Key Elements in Self Respect and Self Care

1. Be aware of and respect your limits.

2. Don’t let others rule your life and calendar.

3. Take time out, and embrace solitude.

4. Listen to your heart, and do what’s best for you.

5. Accept that you’re not perfect – for we all mess up at times.

6. Make time for fun.

7. Treat yourself as valuable.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

How to be more Self-Disciplined

1. Choose to act, or to do what you should you. Don’t wait until you feel that you are in the right mood.

2. Decide to keep on going, and to finish what you’ve started. Don’t allow yourself to give up when you’re only part way through.

3. Be honest with yourself and call yourself on the excuses. They’re often just a cover for not wanting to do something.

4. Plan ahead and break large goals down into smaller, short-term goals – and put these on a calendar, and tick them off each day.

5. Remind yourself how great you’ll feel when later you’ve achieved and reached the goals you set yourself, and have that better life.

6. Also, distinguish what’s important and will matter down the road, from what is temporary – or seems worthwhile in the moment.

7. Try not to be distracted by the things that eat up time - like gaming, watching movies or just hanging out with friends.

8. Hang out with other people who display self-discipline, and understand the value of working hard right now.