He Earned His Red Wings
It was late April or May, honestly I spent that summer too drunk to remember every small detail. I had been meeting up with guys from Tinder for a while, taking the âbest way to get over someone is to get under someone elseâ advice a little (hella) too seriously. I met this guy named Jake, and decided to go grab Torchyâs with him. Iâm a slut for some tacos. I mean, Iâm a slut anyway, but this bitch loves tacos.
Conversation was going well, so when the meal was over and he gave me the option of parting ways or a movie at his place, I opted for the movie. Keep in mind, this was before âNetflix and chillâ was a thing. Also, Iâm naieve.
So, the movie started, and he was on top of me inhaling my carbon dioxide BEFORE THE END OF THE BEGINNING CREDITS, but that wasnât before he said some stupid pick up line about how he wished it was Christmas because the mistletoe wouldâve given him a good excuse to kiss me (real smooth lmfao). Honestly, I wasnât into it. He was practically eating my fucking face. I made out with him anyway though.... Until he started trying to unbuckle my pants.
I had just gotten off my period the day before, and had gotten very familiar with the way spotting can sneak back up for a few days. I told him to stop, told him why, and offered a blowie instead. This part I think is where I differ from most girls. I thoroughly ENJOY giving head. It makes me feel powerful to practically have someone coming undone in the palm of my hand. #ThroatGameStrong. Feeling powerful is a fetish of mine. So yeah, by the end of that I was ready to fuckin GO.Â
I caved. I figured that I had stopped bleeding yesterday and would be good to go. So I told him that it should be fine, but that I may spot a little. He didnât waste any time. Before I knew it, this motherfucker was choking me (which I find hot), and asking me questions (which I do not). One minute, I was having to bite his shoulder so I didnât scream, and the next minute I dried up like the Sahara because this bitch wanted to ask me what his name is.
I choked out a âJake?â Because honestly I wasnât sure.Â
âAnd who am I?â
âUh... the dude Iâm fucking right now.â
He gripped my throat tighter and started PLOWING. âNoâ he heaved, âcall me Daddy.â
It took everything in me not to laugh at him.Â
He stopped just as quickly as he started though. âHey, turn on the light, theres something on my hand.â I figured it was just, yanno, vag stuff, but I flicked on the lamp anyway. It was blood. Not a lot, but enough for him to suggest a shower instead. I complied.
I braced my hand on the tile wall as i bent over, because doggie is the only way to pull off sex in the shower, and saw a red stream wash away from my palm.Â
WTF.
It was way more blood than I thought. I was embarrassed and immediately turned off. As we got dry, he flicked on his bigger bedroom light so that we could find our clothes to get dressed.
I swear to god it looked like a crime scene. He took me home immediately and we never spoke again.
Until two months later when he told me he had chlamydia (that he hadnât gotten from me, btw.)














