Sunbeaming

Wishfully thinking and writing for recognition. Nature, Music, Art, Stories.

[ink-and-sunbeams]

Maladaptive Waking

I feel like worlds are crashing down like christmas ornaments.

My mind has always been the place I've escaped to. My imagination was my greatest ally, but now things are different. I'm different. I don't know what I am or who I am.

I came to the realization that I am leaving it behind more and more. I don't know if it's growing up or not remembering to think for myself. That the paintbrush is supposed to be in my hands.

I felt like I was going insane, but I think it's possible I am waking up. If you go so long being crazy, sanity starts to feel like losing your mind.

I'm something new now. I'm unfamiliar to myself.

I feel blank at the lack of noise. What do I think about? What are you supposed to think about without noise in your ears and a movie screen in your head?

I don't remember how to feel lonely either. The friends I invented to keep me company are fading from my minds eye, and I don't think I miss them. I do miss missing them though.

I want to go back because I don't know what to do with this. What to do with what I am.

I do know to write. I don't know if I want anyone to read it. But I do feel like sending something somewhere, to exist for it's own sake. I think I'm writing it to myself. To someone who is me.

[ink-and-sunbeams]

Very happy that Olivia Rodrigo's Can't Catch Me Now song also has the appropriate themes to apply to Obi Wan Kenobi.

[lookingfornighttime]

all human emotions can be found either in the mamma mia soundtrack or the hozier album

[devilfulmarina]

[ink-and-sunbeams]

The Fey Path

Everytime my father asked me where I escaped to, I lied.

This was my gift, deception. It's not a sweet gift and it's not a gift that one should abuse. You have to care for it neatly. Otherwise, one day that gift may end up becoming a knife in the back placed there by your own hand.

This lie. The lie I handed to him so easily was something well-worn and entirely unimportant compared to the truth.

Green leaves and the summer warmth swam around me comfortably. I had walked this path many times, but each time it changed slightly and each time it became even softer beneath my barefeet. Excitement made me clench my fingers more tightly around the basket I'd been carrying.

I knew I had to share this.

Finally, I made it to the place where the willows bend and sweep their graceful branches across the face of the river. He wasn't here yet, but that was fine because I wanted the chance to settle first.

Unwrapping the contents of my basket, I brush my hands across the surface of the silver box that had been carefully nested inside. I knew once I clicked it open I would find a stone that swirled with a storm beneath the surface.

"What did you do?"

My friend and research partner was not entirely human. His body was a mangle of earthbent nature. So much so, that if you looked at him at a certain angle you would swear on your life it was just another shadow spot in the woods.

Dark hair twisted, tree-branch and ivy-tangled down across his eyes. Eyes, that were looking rather suspicously at me.

"Well, hello to you too." I sniped back.

"I did not say hello." His tone was as level as always as he made his way to sit down next to me. He peered over my shoulder at the silver box.

"Yes, I'm aware, I just- nevermind." It's always difficult to remember that sarcasm was not something that could be wielded against him. It didn't matter. I was too eager to share.

"Do you remember when we were talking about how some witches could take things out of dreams? Bring something back?"

He hesitated. "Yes. I remember, but that kind of magic is severely old and dangerous..."

I waited a moment for him to catch up as I gave him a better look at the stone. Recognition flooded his eyes.

"You didn't!"

A smile broke out across my face. "I did!"

"Bree, you did not." He was being a lot more serious than I thought he'd be.

"Look, I know that it is a bit on the dangerous side, but after we are done I can put it back." I kept my tone light and uplifting. Even he couldn't bring down my excitement. Not for this. "Just think of what we can do. This can unlock the door. You can get back! And, if I keep it or if I study it, maybe I can find a way to unlock that door permanently."

He was quiet for a long moment, but I saw the hunger in his eyes. He wanted to go back home, he had been stolen away from the main path for far too long.

Softly, he spoke. "The door isn't meant to stay open. The paths will come and go as nature intends, even witches can't keep that from happening. Maybe I can go back. Maybe. But if I do that means I probably won't be able to come back, and you... We may not be able to find each other again."

Now it was time for me to be quiet. It's not that I hadn't known this could be a possibility. It's just that I understood him too well. Being kept away from your true home was a story that I had also been apart of, my name penned in absolute ink. If I could write him a different ending then anything else wasn't as important.

"I know that. I do. But, I also know you and I know that being here isn't helpful for you. And you already helped me, so it's time I returned the favor."

That he nodded to. Favors. Bargains. Rules. All were important things to him. Personally, I often found them annoying. Like walking face-first into a spiderweb.

"Ok. Maybe you are right," He conceded, "Maybe. But if we use the stone to open the gate, it will use up an incredible amount of magic. And it will attract the attention of other unfavorable creatures. We'll need a plan."

"Perfect! We can make a plan. What's the worst that could happen?"

"We could both die."

"Let's not think about that. Now, how does this thing work?" I lifted the stone to the light.

[ink-and-sunbeams]

Daydreaming Words

In my desire, I was left unsupervised.

I was able to craft worlds unseen. Carefully shoring them up with sand as the tide came in, grit sticking beneath my nails even once I returned home.

The iridescent flicker of them curled like a spiderweb across my eyes. Lifting like a veil during sleep, only to settle across me once again when I awoke. A blanket over a birds cage, willingly covered.

Sometimes, I will peak through. Sometimes I am tempted by the solid world, rainsoaked and full of earth. Trying to be the seer and the seen. Sometimes, I think maybe. Sometimes, I think about something other. I like Sometimes. Sometimes is an easy promise.

I always go back.

[firstfullmoon]

Megan Denton Ray, from “A Recovery Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics”

[ink-and-sunbeams]

It's always, why aren't you in class? Why don't you go outside and meet people? Don't you realize I am listening to Fleetwood Mac's Landslide and Crying like a Grown Woman??

[unboundprompts]

Random Prompt #44

“Every night before bed I write three good things that happened to me. And every night I find myself writing down your name.”

[ink-and-sunbeams]

And there it was, scrawled in perfect ink.

Ella

Ella

Ella

Each letter was perfectly crafted, neat handwriting that I always wished to have for myself. Here it was, dedicated to me. All I could do was stare at that perfect "E" and listen and breathe and hope some more.

"I know that this may be sudden, I just felt like I needed to tell you. I feel like I need to tell you everything, really. Can't stop thinking about it. About what I could say. Or how I could show you?"

I looked up. His eyes were the start of summer and full of promise. His journal was cool and heavy in my hands it kept me tethered to the earth. "Since when?"

"Two months ago. I realized it when we went on that roadtrip. I looked over at you and I just..." His voice was soft. "Everything clicked. Which is cheesy, I know that. I just- I was happy and I want to keep being able to have that with you. To share that with you. If you'd like?"

If I'd like. That's always how it had been with him, a question, a polite request, an invitation. He never demanded or assumed. He just held open the gate, waiting to see if I'd like to walk along with him.

Right now I couldn't think of anything I'd like more.

[ink-and-sunbeams]

Squirrel Poem

The Squirrels are at the tree

The Squirrels are on the floors

The Squirrels are biting feet

And pushing through the doors

The Squirrels have taken the Dean

The staff don't know what to do

There is only one possible solution

Shake up some Mountain Dew

Throw it to the mob and hope your aim is true

The Squirrel King is unforgiving

If you miss, He'll come for you.

[ink-and-sunbeams]

In Search of Lost Dragons is one of the most beautifully illustrated dragon books. I had a lot of fun putting these photos together, and got to dive back into my old love of these fantastical creatures.

[ink-and-sunbeams]

Sunlight Moments

My most important moments have been colored in with sunlight. Like an over-enthusiastic kid, I snatched up some lightbeam crayons and scribbled across them.

One of these memories, was just pulling into the driveway. Simple. But, it was with you.

Coming home with you is where the sunlight is meant to be.

[ink-and-sunbeams]

I'm going to miss this kind of warmth when the summer ends. It's the closest I can get to being a cat in a pile of warm laundry.

[jaynerose]

Not Tonight

(Inspired by this prompt by @deepwaterwritingprompts ) 

The moon won’t let us sleep. She’s angry with someone, and no one in the village rests until they’re punished.

Everyone in the village was haunted by a new fear. This fear took the form of the “Wandering”. That’s what the moon sickness was called. It took the form of people unable to sleep walking aimlessly through the woods and towards the ocean. Searching for something that was out of their grasp. 

The telltale sign was when a shining sliver of light appeared in the person’s eyes. They had been marked. It was a true terror to look in a mirror and know that you were staring at a ghost. 

The cause of the moon’s wrath had yet to be identified. Not for lack of trying. The people searched high and low, but they would never be found. 

I know this because I wouldn’t let them. 

No one knows that it was me. No one knows how I reached into the waters and stole her reflection. The moon was looking for her sister, her twin that so often rested in the waters on earth. 

I’ve always been gifted with the Craft. I could hear spiders sing me to sleep when I was a child and by the time I had reached maturity I could walk into the mist as a woman and leave as a raven. 

Perhaps it was the raven side to me that was what called my hands to commit the crime. A yearning for something shining and mine to keep.

I couldn’t help it. I don’t see how any person possibly could. I’ve spent hours staring up at the sky, wishing I could have a piece of it to hold onto. Then, I looked down into my pond and realized I could.

Stealing the moon’s reflection had been easy. However, as the days pressed on I realized that keeping it would pose a problem.

She spoke to me, the reflection.  Her voice was calm, soothing me with a false promise.

“Please, set me back into the waters. My sister is worried and she will reward you for my release.”

I simply shook my head and replied, “Not tonight.”

Eventually, the village began to dwindle so low in numbers that an investigator had been sent out by the nearby city. I had never encountered such an opponent, I sensed a new kind of cleverness in her, and unfortunately she sensed one in me. 

Still, we had become friends. It wasn’t until I showed her my treasure that she betrayed me. 

Once again the reflection asked, “Please set me free, soon my sister will know and she’ll find you.”

My reply again, “Not tonight.”

Soon, what remained of the village turned on me. Not that they were anything to fear, it was the moon who would be the source of my terror. 

For a night and a day nothing happened. I thought that perhaps the moon had decided to forfeit her sister to me. It wasn’t until I looked into my mirror I realized a bright moonlit sliver glancing back in my eyes that I knew what I must do.

Carefully, I delivered the stolen reflection back to the waters. Once returned I begged, “Please, have mercy.”

The only reply I heard in return was, “Not tonight.” 

[maxinevee]

An Old Friend 🐉🧡

[ink-and-sunbeams]

So much beauty and imagination by this artist.