Inkblot

[inkblot0527]

“They say to be loved is to be seen

If this is true, then I am invisible.”

- Inblott

[inkblot0527]

“Understanding snaps into place

With every stretch of my hand

Toward the college-ruled paper

Tucked neatly in my purse,

Carried closely

Carried carefully

Carried constantly,

Every letter branded on my eyes

Kisses carried by waves,

Entirely too far

And yet

Right here with me,

Now I know why their wives kept their letters.”

“Kisses” - Archer

[anonymouspoetry47]

“Sometimes we say

I will never regret you

As our way of saying

I love you.”

-A.P. “August”

[inkblot0527]

🩵🩷

[inkblot0527]

“You prefer lemonade over citrus punch

Probably ‘cause you like it sweet,

I prefer my fruit a little salty

No one checks the trash,

No one knocks on the door

At 3am my knees are bent stiff,

And my hair is tied back

And then I walk out like nothing’s wrong

I’m met with reverberating echoes of

Water on porcelain,

A pyre in my throat

I think people avoid me,

They rarely ever speak to me

If to be loved is to be seen,

I am invisible.”

“Untitled II”

- Inkblott

[inkblot0527]

“Terror isn’t the monster under my bed

Terror isn’t the potential of going to public school

And terror isn’t my parents getting a divorce,

Terror is being handed a pre-packaged food item without the label

Terror is when the number in my calculator is too big

Terror is finding your jeans are too big

And terror is asking your family to drive you to get a new pair

Terror is in the unspoken questions at Ross, as they echo in my mind as heavy as my calculator,

Terror isn’t being found it

Terror is that disappointment in budgeting because I missed a number

I know Terror well.”

“Terror”

- Inkblot

[inkblot0527]

“The skin turned smooth,

The sting became a memory

Though placing that memory is hard,

Nearly impossible

I stick it somewhere,

And I leave it there

It stays,

Whispering,

Mumbling,

Asking,

Begging,

Yelling,

Screaming,

To be the ruler of my mind again

To govern every thought,

Every action,

Every emotion,

Every moment

Locked behind a semicolon to starve

So it shall starve.”

“Let it Starve.”

- Inkblot

[inkblot0527]

“And like a paparazzi flash

That very lock breaks

The sting no longer a memory

But a ritual,

It regains consciousness

And governs every thought,

Every action,

Every emotion,

Every moment.

It lives

And it breathes

And

It

Won’t

Go

Away.”

“Let it Starve”, Continued

-Inkott

[inkblot0527]

“The skin turned smooth,

The sting became a memory

Though placing that memory is hard,

Nearly impossible

I stick it somewhere,

And I leave it there

It stays,

Whispering,

Mumbling,

Asking,

Begging,

Yelling,

Screaming,

To be the ruler of my mind again

To govern every thought,

Every action,

Every emotion,

Every moment

Locked behind a semicolon to starve

So it shall starve.”

“Let it Starve.”

- Inkblot

[inkblot0527]

“I write poems to articulate my feelings. I write poems because the mundane words of this age refuse to do these experiences justice. I write in order to organize my mind. I write poems because the sting under my sleeve is no longer sufficient. I write poems so that my audience will have something left of me. I write poems because this addiction that feels like an infinite grey area. I write poems because when I showed you the varying degrees of ruin on my body, you persecuted me.

I write poems because even when I wanted to die, you only made it worse.

I write poems to paint a picture so that you might understand.

I write poems so that I can have a release.

I write poems because I know suicide isn’t an option.

I write poems because when I tried to grow wings, you yanked me back down to my body and became a monster.

I write poems so that I don’t die.”

“Poems” - Blot0527

[inkblot0527]

“Forever a damned fool

4,826 miles too far

And I thought I was better

I thought it was over,

Brown like me

Hair like me

Eyes like me

But she’s not me.”

-A.P.

“4,826, Continued”

[inkblot0527]

“The cruelty of your misplaced hope, was it on purpose?

A lie disguised as a childhood dream

How could you?

And now I’m digging into my own skin,

Begging God for another chance but

I see the Chimera in front of me, taunting me as she lights the sconces on the walls with hope

Why would you let me play with the glass ball if you knew it would break in my hands? Who does that to the person they love?

No way out and I’m slamming my body into every wall because maybe if I force an opening I can break free

But the Chimera is here, too

She says I have to find the opening from the inside of this box

I don’t make it

I’ve turned to stone inside this box

I sit beside the archer Diana,

She’s a pleasant character

The Chimera paces outside of the box

I can hear her snarling turn to whispers and back again

Lying to me and to Diana

Like you did,

And I find out you were the Chimera, you are the Chimera

The cruelty of a misplaced hope, it was on purpose

A lie disguised as a childhood dream.

How dare you.”

- AP

“The Chimera”

[inkblot0527]

Heavy on this one rn. Might try to continue this one later.

[inkblot0527]

I’m weirdly proud of this playlist I made a year ago that basically romanticizes the idea of a woman who jumps from man to man for personal gain and doesn’t see the harm she’s causing but then she meets someone she plans on using the same way but realizes she can’t bc she loves him and then he finds out she lied in the beginning bc she planned to use him and he gets mad and she feels guilty and they break up and she starts the process over again. Basically the 36 Questions the podcast the musical. Anyway here’s the link https://open.spotify.com/playlist/73Og7AIedBeEpQHSBhwuDs?si=DGHPKdVeRyyaAnVwRyfqNw&pi=u-wuusK2s8RXiZ

[inkblot0527]

Hey guess what hooligans? I draw too!

-

I call this one “The Show Must Go On”

If you steal it I will come for your kneecaps. Share with credit!

[inkblot0527]

“It’s just a green cup made of plastic filled with water

But it feels like your grip on the back of my head

It’s just a fried mozzarella stick between my two fingers

But it feels like the hours spent in the back of your car

It’s just a straw in my iced coffee

But it feels like the gym shorts in my cheek

It’s just shampoo

But it feels like the hot burn of carpet under my knees.”

- A.P.

“It’s Just A Green Plastic Cup”

[inkblot0527]

“I turned around to admire what is built

Only to see it disappeared,

I turned forward

And I walked until I found a stone,

Yellow from the sun

Hickory from the moist dirt

And I began to build again

A labyrinth in vines,

Blooming flowers lining the garden outside

Trees on soil made good over the years I spend here

But one day,

I left my garden to look for more

When I returned empty-handed,

My home disappeared

So I turned around,

And I walked until I found a stone.”

- A.P.

“Patience”

[inkblot0527]

“I’d give up my life so you could have yours

In fact,

I very nearly did

I’d do it all again if it meant you could see that sunset with me; here, now

I’d become Atlas, hold the world still for you

I’d incur the wrath of Oden’s Valkyries for you to have known a better world

I’d hold the world still for you,

All for just thirty seconds with you, my sweet angel.”

- A.P. “Stop the World”

[inkblot0527]

Excuse me, I was very drunk and very sad last night, I’m not sure how I feel about this one… Most of my posts I really like, but this one… Idk man. Gonna leave it up though for shits and giggles.

[inkblot0527]

“I’d give up my life so you could have yours

In fact,

I very nearly did

I’d do it all again if it meant you could see that sunset with me; here, now

I’d become Atlas, hold the world still for you

I’d incur the wrath of Oden’s Valkyries for you to have known a better world

I’d hold the world still for you,

All for just thirty seconds with you, my sweet angel.”

- A.P. “Stop the World”

[inkblot0527]

“Despair becomes rage as quickly as we remember how much it hurt.”

- A.P.