Ellen’s Thoughts

[inkdrinkerellen]

Felt like writing stuff out tonight.

I don’t know what I’m more scared of. Her being a bad person, me being wrong about her, or the fact that I can’t make that decision because the only one who really knows is God.

I’m tired of the back and forth, but know that in truth both are right. As humans we’re made of a myriad of good and bad and I have no right to judge her though I fear not knowing what to do with her. Would cutting her off help or cause worse problems? I don’t know the answers to anything and it’s all a blind leap in the dark.

[inkdrinkerellen]

I can't be the only person who Hates it when people ask me to explain my religion to them like first I dont owe you an explanation of something so personal and 2 I dont follow a tiny small town cult use Google dumbass don't make things so akward for no reson .

I agree completely. I like to keep my personal religious life very private, so talking about it is definitely very awkward. Also my religion is not a very big one, and has a lot of offshoots that we don’t agree with. So it’s literally well we do this like them but in this way, and we don’t do that and do this instead.

[inkdrinkerellen]

Every time I get a cold everything else goes down the drain. It’s hard to convince myself that I’m not dying, and the drama levels are through the roof. Finally feeling all better and now feel like I could take on the world.

[inkdrinkerellen]

Went to the city today, and there was someone wandering around in one of those blow t-rex costumes. Just wandering around with no care in the world.

[inkdrinkerellen]

In the car driving, and Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish. It got to the part “I’m scared” right as we hit a turn, the phone flies off the center consul and shuts off the music. I love good timing 😂

[shymagnolia]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[shymagnolia]

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

[flagellant]

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

[coffee-or-hot-cocoa]

i need all the help i can get for finals

[finnglas]

Hey so

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

This might be the real one, y’all.

[azaraspirit]

what the hell? i could use some luck *hits reblog*

[i-love-you-beautiful]

You know what I could use some luck

[inkdrinkerellen]

Worth a try lol

[inkdrinkerellen]

One of my favorite things is to watch people who truly enjoy something. I watched a guy rifling through video games and consoles, and the excitement on his face was priceless. He had the grandest time describing how the consoles were fakes and how you could tell. I had never cared about that, but listening was the most fun I’ve had in ages.

Take a minute to appreciate something that someone else likes. You might learn new things.

[inkdrinkerellen]

Don’t date someone cause they bring you flowers or give you compliments. Don’t date someone cause they want to marry you, and pay for the bills. Don’t date someone to fulfill some goal or purpose. Don’t marry someone for these reasons.

Date someone who makes you smile. Date someone who makes dates feel like hanging out with a new friend. Date someone who makes you excited to hang out not nervous. Marry your best friend not your dream guy.

[inkdrinkerellen]

Anyone else hate trying to explain something that you’re really proud of yourself for doing when other people don’t know the context. Cause you start out super excited about what you did, and then have to explain to them why it was so exciting, then it ends with them looking confused but still trying to be supportive

[inkdrinkerellen]

Painted my nails yellows a week ago. Finally taking it off. Never doing that again. Until I forget how much I hated it and do it again.

[inkdrinkerellen]

Some songs hit different for different people. For some weird reason the songs that are it for me sound like I’m going insane, might start a cult, and overthrow a government. For example: District 9 by stray kids,Cult Leader by King Mala, Wonderland by Ateez, and Don’t go Insane by Dpr Ian

[inkdrinkerellen]

My cat has started clicking at insects when he’s chasing them 😂 Neither of the other two cats do it just him, so I don’t know where he learned it but it is the funniest thing cause I heard weird clicking meows and I know that wherever he is he’s after a bug

[inkdrinkerellen]

Growing up in a religious household I thought that people who were sugar babies were dumb, just go get a job was my thought. Now I’m an adult with bills and pets and I get it now. It’s also crazy how many of my friends agree with me

Edit: this is a joke, and I really don’t want a sugar daddy

[inkdrinkerellen]

Anyone else get these odd cravings for perfectly normal food. One time I craved steak for months until I finally ate it. Nothing else tastes the same until I eat the food. Sometimes it’ll be a drink but it’s always at the most random times and the most random foods.

[inkdrinkerellen]

With my luck in cars I need to marry a mechanic 😩😂

[inkdrinkerellen]

I really want to make a fancy coffee

[inkdrinkerellen]

I’ve learned that regret is the hardest thing to live with. It was almost a year ago that I got my own horse, a 2 year old mustang mare. Thinking back to how many times I could have given up and given her away. The times I got hurt and scared as I learned how to work with her. Another person had also gotten a mare to train, and I watched her give up on the horse. (The horse is taken care of don’t worry.)

It took me a year to be able to lead her around on my own. I can walk up and pet her. It’s not easy but every time I work with her and we have a good day I’m reminded of why I didn’t give up. Results may not show right away and they might not be what you expect, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. Sometimes hard work doesn’t pay off but knowing that I have it my best makes it worth it every time.