Tea and Ink

I guess this is my blog where I post things that I write

[inkingwords]

5:48 // 5:50

My heart is being pressured

fragments and stretching tendons

i’m trying to figure things out

i really am

please don’t give up on me

[paperedcranes]

Oh how he was burned, drawing you in like a moth to a flame. Setting your papered wings alight as sparks jumped off his skin.

And oh how you loved him. // (y.x.)

[inkingwords]

8:36 // 8:39

I have a headache that's making my head spin

and I can't really focus on anything but that's

not the point because I can still see the fan

spinning above me and the dozen lights in the

house and hear the muslim prayers from the

mosque in the neighborhood

I don't know where I was going with this

I hope you're all doing well

That you have the time and space to breathe

That you smile and laugh and cry

Because crying is cleansing

I don't know where I'm going

Please stay

(y.x.) // Why do things have to be so confusing

[inkingwords]

i feel like

(y.x.) // crying, smiling, laughing, screaming, dancing, writing, diving, flying, being with you

[inkingwords]

7:02 // 7:05

I think I'm okay, or at least I'm trying very hard to be

with a combination of good words, music and smiles

I think I'm still sad, but trying very hard not to be

I think I've changed, but I'm still trying to be me

[inkingwords]

I guess it's been a month or is it three months? Or four or five. I guess the point is it's been awhile. And I guess what I'm really trying to say is I miss you. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I regret it. Not all of it, just the parts where I didn't tell you how I felt. I guess what I'm trying to say is

(y.x.) // And I can't even say it

[inkingwords]

October

the month of brave souls

and warrior eyes and

lips pulled into a smile

and figuring out what words mean

and where to step

and how to play the game

October

the month of thunderstorms

and sunshine in the afternoon

and tears at night

and winds that take me home

O c t o b e r

[paperedcranes]

World after night The morning skies, who reached a crown at downs to put the day (y.x) // blackout poetry

[inkingwords]

for a long time now

i think

that i've been wondering

maybe

what it would be like

if

everything went back

to the way

it used to be

when i used to matter.

[inkingwords]

MAYDAY, SOMEBODY SAVE ME NOW

David Cook

[inkingwords]

homewehreididyougoocmebackpelaseihaeiaeithere.

[inkingwords]

9:22

when will i stop being reminded of everything i had to leave

will it be when my body is made up of cells that don't think

of them in seven years?

or will it be when i forget about them

i don't want it to be either

but i want to stop being sad

when a particular type of breeze blows over me

or when i smell concrete on a hot day

or when i'm listening to songs with happy memories attached

i want to be happy

i really do

[inkingwords]

instead of my skin

i want someone else's

[inkingwords]

INSTEAD OF MY SKIN:

i carve a page full of ink-less 'please'

INSTEAD OF MY SKIN:

i crinkle a cardboard box

INSTEAD OF MY SKIN:

i draw mile long black marks on empty paper

INSTEAD OF MY SKIN:

i cry tears that sink into childhood toys

INSTEAD OF MY SKIN:

i hide everything away where it doesn't show.

[inkingwords]

i don't know anymore

[inkingwords]

Blank pages

Quadratic equations

Theatricality

Dusty feet

Silly dances

Words words words

24.09.14

[inkingwords]

i feel like crying and i don't know why

or maybe i do know why but i just don't want 

to admit it

sometimes i feel like theres nothing poetic about me

i'm not words or ink or starry souls

i'm just a person

a person struggling so bad

to express herself

to wake up every morning

and not cry

to get home every afternoon

and not cry

to go to sleep at night

or cry myself to sleep

it'd be an ocean of tears if i had that

much water inside me if i had

that much grief and sorrow

and nostalgia

and a sense of not belonging

of being wounded

of pressing words together in hopes

that one day

someone will understand

because we're all messed up

and i find that absolutely hilarious

because everyone knows

what they need to get better

but there's no one

there.

(y.x.) // Mashed together in a crowded place