sometimes i want to talk to someone about everything going on in my head, the small things, the heavy things, the things that don’t even have clear words yet. i want to be heard, or even just be in conversation where i don’t have to hold everything alone for a while
but right before i reach out, there’s always this quiet hesitation. the feeling that maybe i’ve already said too much before. that maybe i’ll become repetitive, or heavy, or something people have to make space for when they’re already tired of making space
so i don’t send the message. i close the app. i tell myself it’s fine, i’ll handle it, i always do
and i do but not always in the way that feels like relief
it’s strange how wanting connection can sit right next to the fear of being a burden. and how often the fear wins even when all you really needed was a simple “are you okay” from someone who actually stays for the answer