Writings And Thoughts

An escape for all the words I can never seem to get out

[inkysmudges]

I just picked up my final divorce papers a little over an hour ago, I cried. I was filled with so much relief and just remembering everything that I have been through. Sometimes the memories can be so excruciating.

I’m so relieved but I’m not done crying yet. It’s like I am burying a part of my life and I am so happy for it but I still need to cry. Cry for all the pain that girl went through, all the nights she stayed up at night staring at the ceiling wondering if life would ever get better. Crying for the girl that would cower in the corner of the room begging in her head that he would just leave her alone that he wouldn’t hit her again. Crying for the girl that sat on the edge of the bed with a knife to her wrist debating. Crying for the girl that ran away so many times barefoot only to solemnly walk back to her captor because she really felt utterly and truly alone, and crying tears of joy rejoicing for the woman she has become.

Serena Nerva

[inkysmudges]

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder Battle

Plato

[inkysmudges]

Divine Intervention

Have you ever felt that divine intervention has saved your life, like a guardian angel resting near you keeping you safe? I can specifically remember 3 moments in my life that could have left me in great injury or fatality but miraculously I have come out unscathed...for the most part. The first was in high school I was walking home with a girlfriend and I had just gotten a new phone, I was lollygagging listening to all the new ringtones this tiny handheld device could play and I did not cross the street at the same time as my friend. Because I was distracted, I was saved and unfortunately my friend was struck by a car. I was mortified, and that night I stayed with another friend as we waited to hear news on if she would be okay. She survived but had to undergo surgeries to fix her leg that was badly broken. The next situation I can remember is later on, after high school I was working in a warehouse and I was moving some large boxes with a pallet jack on the second story. I was getting close to the edge which at that time didn’t have any guard rail or chain to keep someone from getting too close. I was walking backwards and hadn’t realized I had gone too far back, when I took a step the floor was no longer underneath me. My leg buckled and that simple movement saved my life. I did not fall over the edge and with my knee on the edge I was able to get back up and walk closer to solid ground. It always terrified me how close I was to falling over to what would have been a terrible injury, especially if that pallet jack fell with me. The last divine intervention is one of much triumph, from all of these situations this last one was a life changer and I feel so blessed to still be here today. For years I prayed and prayed, not for salvation not for freedom, but for a friend. See I was stuck in an abusive relationship for so long, many connections I had made were gone. My ex made it so difficult for me to go to anyone except for him, until one day he slipped and I made a connection. A connection with someone that brought me so much more, but not because he provided it, but because I found it within myself. I was able to escape through divine intervention and it saved my life.

-Serena Nerva