Missing My Other Half
Trying to be happy when I haven’t heard from you in days, I’m just fooling myself. I don’t want to be happy without you and I miss you so much it actually hurts. I want to cry in public but I bottle up these tears. I’m scared like never before I’m afraid that something bad has happened to you like on the TV. It’s just in my head, right? What if tho- I can’t think about that I want to picture us laughing together being happy and forever loving each other. A picture of you laughing and smiling with someone else quickly intruded my mind but I want to be the one who makes you laugh and be yourself and feels all warm inside. Memories of us flood my mind and it put the biggest smile on my face I start cracking up about the silly times and the funny times. I try hard to remember more but my mind is slowly deteriorating so I look at picture to help me remember. I attempt to do work but all I can do is think about you. Suddenly darkness shrouds me I ponder and think...hard. I put myself in your shoes and retrace events, some good and some not so much. I call but no answer, I FaceTime but no answer, I text but no answer I attempt various ways to contact but no dice. I start to feel isolated and alone, hurt and scared. The darkness looms closer and I feel horrible I feel like the worst person it hurts and I let the darkness consumes me...a path emerges in front on my both dimly lit. One says “enter to end all troubles and end everything, fast and pain free...cost is one soul” I consider for a moment until I look over and see the other path which says “enter to better everything including yourself, will take time, extreme changes and may be painful and hurt but will come out in a path of warmth and glory with God”. I consider and realize that the path to better myself is the best and I want to choose that path because God with be with me and so with my other half. I choose that path I want to be happy and I don’t want to feel like that person I did, horrible and disgusted. I imagine how the other person feels and take in consideration their side of my actions. I miss my other half and I pray she is alright. I love you Charlene and I deeply miss you, I’m sorry if you ever made you feel less than what you are. I perfect, kind, loving angel from God. I love you princess and I’m sorry. Love, Stephen
