Cyanide and Arsenic Tea

Welcome to Chaos. My name is Fifi Lidell, or Insane Victorian Cat Lady. And yes I am a lady and I am a cat. I love reblogging random fandom stuff, cosplaying, reading, drawing, and playing with makeup. Enjoy the teaparty~!

[insanevictoriancatlady]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Levi/Petra Ral Characters: Petra Ral, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Hange Zoë, Erwin Smith Additional Tags: Eventual Smut, Time Travel, Post WWII Era, 18th Century, Outlander AU Summary:

Petra is finally spending time with her husband... As he researches his boring ancestor Auruo, a British officer stationed in the Scottish Highlands during the 18th. Somehow Petra slips through time and encounters Auruo and Levi Ackerman a Scotsman who vows to protect her. Based off the Outlander series by Diana Garbaldon.

[tsukinosusagis]

[quackerman-deactivated20141222]

when you see someone attractive but they’re a fictional character that you can never be with 

[insanevictoriancatlady]

Let's see how well you know me.

[insanevictoriancatlady]

"Shalott" Cover done at night outdoors.

[pineotrees]

boy and girl: *look at each other*

*ten billion fan arts, fanfictions, amvs, headcanons*

boy and boy: *look at each other*

*ten billion fan arts, fanfictions, amvs, headcanons*

girl and girl: *flirt constantly, think about each other constantly, kiss, have sex, get married, have lady babies*

fanbase: they r just friends, oh my god stop making everything about lesbians

[mollysolverson]

[insanevictoriancatlady]

england:

france:

hi im here to colonize *points at canada* thats mine

haha about that,

[pleatedjeans]

20 Surefire Signs You Had Way Too Much to Drink Last Night

[insanevictoriancatlady]

spanish and italian: So THESE words are feminine and THESE words are masculine, and you ALWAYS put an adjective AFTER the noun.

french: haha i dont fuckin know man just do whatever

german: LET'S ADD A NEUTRAL NOUN HAHA

english: *shooting up in the bathroom*

gaelic: the pronounciation changes depending on the gender and what letter the word starts and ends with and hahah i dont even know good fucking luck

polish: here have all of these consonants have fun

japanese: subject article noun article verb. too bad there's three fucking alphabets lmao hope your first language isn't western

welsh: sneeze, and chances are you've got it right. idfk

chinese: here's a picture. draw it. it means something. it can be pronounced four different ways. these twenty other pictures are pronounced the same but have very different meanings. godspeed.

arabic: so here's this one word. it actually translates to three words. also pronouns don't really exist. the gender is all in the verb. have fun!

latin: here memorize 500 charts and then you still dont know what the fuck is happening

sign language: If you move this sign by a tenth of an inch, you'll be signing "penis"

russian: idk man its pronounced like its spelt but good fucking luck spelling it

Greek: so basically we're going to add 15 syllables to every word you know and assign it one of 3 genders at random. Also good luck figuring out where to put the accents you piece of shit

[phemiec]

So, reading your Kinstuck descipt on the Leijons I'd like to say I am their lost family member as I am a Filipina with a French surname from my father and a Leo (Actually Leo-Virgo cusp). Also I ship too much.

omg the lost Leijon haha :D <3

[carinsurance-witch]

Behold my new life motto

[insanevictoriancatlady]

In Soviet Russia, Accent Speaks You

(The phone rings.)

Cashier: “Hello, [Name] Pizza… Oh, f***, not again.”

(She hangs up. A few customers come and go, and the phone rings again.)

Cashier: “Hello, [Name] Piz— f*** this!”

Customer: “Hey, lady, problem with the phone?”

Cashier: “Some sicko keeps calling from a blocked number and making creepy comments.”

Customer: “Hang on. I gotta go find my friend.”

(He pays and leaves… and comes back with a 6’8″ NYPD cop.)

Cop: *with a minor Russian accent* “I hear you’re having a problem with a caller?”

Customer: “No, no. Do the accent! Make it f***in’ scary!”

Cop: *in a deeper voice with a thick accent* “Excuse me. I hear you have problem with caller?”

(The cashier explains. The cop orders a slice of pizza and he and his friend sit and chat for a few minutes. Then the phone rings.)

Cashier: “It’s a blocked number!”

Cop: *on the phone, with the accent* “Hello…. You are thinking my body is what? I am thinking your body probably very fragile. Very easy to— Oh, he hung up.”

(They stare at the phone a few minutes.)

Customer: “Problem solved?”

Cashier: *to customer* “So… is your buddy there single?”

Cop: *in accent* “Boris have many women. All are love him!”

Customer: “You’re married and your name isn’t Boris!”

Cop: “Boris is name of accent. Has life of its own.”

Read more funny stories at NotAlwaysRight.com!:

[insanevictoriancatlady]

Does More Good Than Harem

(I am a female and I mostly hang out with my male friends on a regular basis. This conversation occurs at dinner, with my mom.)

Me: “There’s the theory that men and women cannot be friends because at some point, one of them will fall in love with the other.”

Mom: “If that’s the case, you would be screwed. You basically have a male harem.”

Read more funny stories at NotAlwaysRelated.com!:

[insanevictoriancatlady]

Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 32

(My boyfriend of six years has spontaneously taken me out for a midweek romantic meal to our favourite restaurant. I decide to ask him the zombie question.)

Me: “So, listen. If there was a zombie apocalypse and I got bitten, what would you do?”

Boyfriend: *without even pausing for thought* “Honey, I would shoot the s*** out of you.”

Related: Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 31 Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 30 Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 29 Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 28 Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 27 Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 26 Till Undeath Do Us Part, Part 25

Read more stories at NotAlwaysRomantic.com!:

[insanevictoriancatlady]

Good Night Sweet Ladies, Good Night Sweet Friends

[the-stylish-lesbian]

[mylesbianloveblog]

Sloupit.com Join the coolest LGBT social network!

[ldefix]

Barastuck is still very much a thing i’m enjoying.