i woke up from a drunk slumber to see my friend using my laptop without my permission and ive never sobered up so quickly in my life

Love Begins

Andulka
Three Goblin Art
we're not kids anymore.

shark vs the universe
Jules of Nature
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

ellievsbear
d e v o n

PR's Tumblrdome

@theartofmadeline
noise dept.

Janaina Medeiros
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

⁂

Product Placement

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
tumblr dot com
Monterey Bay Aquarium

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@insanisflava
i woke up from a drunk slumber to see my friend using my laptop without my permission and ive never sobered up so quickly in my life
Via the Avenue Q YouTube page; the cast and crew celebrating Bobby & Kristen Lopez’s Oscar nomination for 'Let It Go'.
Fun Fact
The man responsible for composing the songs for Frozen is also responsible for composing music for the following songs:
The Internet is For Porn
You Can Be As Loud As the Hell You Want (When You’re Making Love)
If You Were Gay
You and Me (But Mostly Me)
Hasa Diga Eebowai
Man Up
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream
I Believe
Everything Comes Down to Poo
you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink
Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.
My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
I looked it up b/c that was a very familiar idiom and how could it be wrong but then
yeah wow that’s spot on perfect
my catchphrase
Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you are better than everyone else, it’s walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anyone else in the first place.
(via m-wol)
if you were a twin in ancient rome they would name the firstborn and then name the secondborn after the firstborn
except
if your older twin’s name was geminus, your name would be anti-geminus
that is the equivalent of naming your children steve and not steve
#those wacky Romans
so what happened when triplets were born
Steve, Not Steve, Definitely Not Steve.
one time we got a new kid in fifth grade and he walks right in and sticks his hand under the stapler and staples his hand and just looks at the teacher and goes “I’m going to the nurse” and leaves
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
So the jokes never really stopped as we passed through Intercourse, Pennsylvania today
happy america 5th everyone. you know the drill, america isnt free anymore. everyone back into your containment units until scheduled freedom day next year, thanks to all, respect your overlords
WHAT IS THIS
WHAT IS THIS
WHAT
IS THIS A LIBRARY IN A THEATRE
ALL OF MY DREAMS HAVE JUST COME TRUE
oh. oh my god.
this is genuinely the most beautiful thing i have ever seen
This is a book store called El Ateneo in Buenos Aires, Argentina! You can have coffee while sitting on the stage. One of my favorite places in my city.
It’s a BOOKSTORE?!
there are balconies where you can sit to read too
and that’s the stage where you can have a coffee :)
the phrase “curiosity killed the cat” is actually not the full phrase it actually is “curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back” so don’t let anyone tell you not to be a curious little baby okay go and be interested in the world uwu
See also:
Blood is thicker than water The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
Meaning that relationships formed by choice are stronger than those formed by birth.
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.
JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.
meeting peoples moms for the first time is so intimidating because i cant tell if theyre a strict mom or a laid back mom and as i ride in their car i have to slowly figure out what breed of mom they are
this makes my heart ache
Silverstein always has been, and always will be my favorite poet because he doesn’t even need words in his poem to make people open their eyes.